Not an ostrich anymore.

SillyG

I will do.

I am just nipping out to get my chunky butt weighed and then I am going to post a blow by blow account of this weekend on here so when I look back I can see the black mark that won't stop me for moving forward.

Right off to suck in the tummy and hope that knocks of half a pound.

Thank you for the advise Headabove.

G x

HeadAboveWater

:rotfl: Hope it works

BTW, post a Statement of Affairs too. There'll be ideas and suggestions given to help you cut back on a few spends where you maybe don't realise you could cut back! And it'll all help to bring your DFD forward

'See' you soon

EDIT:
http://www.stoozing.com/msoc/soacalc.php

SillyG

Okay so here goes.

Saturday - Driving lesson in the morning, de-cluttered and cleaned the bathroom and homemade Chinese and a film for the eveing. Nothing bad there and in fact it was a NSD as I block book my driving lessons.

Sunday - Had to pop in to work to do a few things, walking home I had a tenner in my purse ( the left over money from last weeks pocket money). So for some reason I thought I would pop in to the arcade, it was closed. So did I get on the bus and come home? No instead I went a brought 2 £5 scratch cards. Didn't win. So on the bus on the way home the little voice reminded me of a advert a saw on the Telly for a on-line slots place that gives you £5 for no deposit. So while I am on the bus home I sign up and play the £5. Didn't win. So again the little voice says £50 won't be so bad as you have been really good this week. So I get home and put £50 on ( I have the numbers from my C/C memorized). £50 on £300 up!!!! I don't withdraw the £300 but put it all back on. £150 put on, no win. £160 put on, No win. £200 put on, no win. Start to get panicey at this point so end up getting a loan from a payday lender over 12 months ( I know, this is the worst thing ever. Please do not tell me. I have now factored it in to my snowball. £200 in, BOOM £1440 up!!! Enough to pay back that loan and recop some loss. Do I stop? NO! All of the £1400 went in plus £500 of the loan.

Sorry for the rant, but this more for me so I can keep a tab on it.

On the plus side I Lost 5lbs this week and have a clean bathroom.

G x

Igamogam

Hi SillyG
It sounds as if you have bounced back from that blip. Your OH is very understanding even if still doing the ceiling dance. I dont know any thing about a gambling addiction but will pop in and support when you need it. have you signed up to Gambling Anon - talking therapies work even if you think you know your triggers and feel as if you are in control. Kepp going

SillyG

I wouldn't say I'm over the bilp it's been a huge wake up call to how far I can let it go. But I'm more focused then I have been in months.

I've just come back from an amazing gig ( the benefits of knowing/sleeping with someone who writes music reviews) and whilst waiting for it to start OH finally broke the silence by asking my ' was it because next door got broke in to on Friday?' And then it has all fallen into place.

We got badly burgled nearly 4 years ago and walked in the house while 5 men were turning the place over. We moved out within 3 weeks but I was a reck afterwards for a long time. I didn't like returning or staying in a empty house. I've got better but I think because it was right next door worries started creeping in again. So will try and work on it now.

Right off to pack some lunch so I have a NSD tomorrow.

G x

SillyG

So the Stress wave is starting to subside.

So far i have had a NSD due to bringing breakfast and lunch to work ( Which I shoving in my face now)

OH is speaking now and has set some very harsh ground rules. He is trying to save for a house and does some DJ'ing on the side i have been told that i have roadie for him meaning that he will not have to pay out £30 to someone else. This means that I am putting into the house POT and Paying off my debt. He has put some sort of tracker app on my phone so he knows roughly were I am from his computer and I am to show him my Bank/CC statments every eveing. If there is nothing I can explain then thats the end. That has scared me more than anything being told that this could end. I would crumble for sure with out him.

Anyways enough of feeling sorry for myself. Plan for tonight :-

Put Dinner on ( Homemade Stir Fry)
Clean Kitchen
Tidy Front Room
Post on here when Done.

G X

HeadAboveWater

SillyG wrote: »

OH is speaking now and has set some very harsh ground rules. He is trying to save for a house and does some DJ'ing on the side i have been told that i have roadie for him meaning that he will not have to pay out £30 to someone else. This means that I am putting into the house POT and Paying off my debt. He has put some sort of tracker app on my phone so he knows roughly were I am from his computer and I am to show him my Bank/CC statments every eveing.

Brilliant! Does sound a bit harsh but I think (and maybe you already know!) that you need this now until things are under control. It's great he is being so supportive and 'keeping an eye on you' That's a good thing!

That's a big scare too, but maybe enough to make you realise how serious this is. But you're not going to crumble. You know you can do this

Have you ever spoken to anyone about the burglary?

SillyG

I have been in Counselling for the past month due to a number of things.

It started with me going to the doctor with a pain in my jaw and ending up me breaking down and telling him everything. I am in very early stages of my recovery but will mention this on my next session.

As for my SOA, I did post one on the DFW board. Years of being a spender/gambler My I & E is very low as. But the upside is that I never missed a debt payment or Bill payment so don't have anyone chasing me for the huge amount i owe, I just have to learn to pay it back with the money I have and not the money i could win.

G x

HeadAboveWater

SillyG wrote: »

I have been in Counselling for the past month due to a number of things.
It started with me going to the doctor with a pain in my jaw and ending up me breaking down and telling him everything. I am in very early stages of my recovery but will mention this on my next session.

:T Good for you! That's the hard bit done. It will get easier. And the more you open up the more it will help. Good luck with that

I just have to learn to pay it back with the money I have and not the money i could win

Precisely

SillyG

So been in the house an hour now and so far I have done :

Put Dinner on ( Homemade Stir Fry)
Clean Kitchen

Just taking a quick pit stop as I have slipped with the hot sauce in the stir fry and have a really runny nose and streaming eyes.

Off to clean the front room and then settle in for the night with my beloved Netflixs.

I have not spent a penny today .

NSD – 4
Bank account - £258
Rooms cleaned – 2
Gamble free – 48 hours

G x