Worried about wife spending

pollypenny

We wouldn't survive without joint accounts and sitting down to budget together. OH could spend for Britain and always over-estimates our money.

You will have to speak to her - if she's hiding the statement she knows she's wrong. Do it nicely and in a supportive, rather than challenging way.

sassyblue

She might shout and moan but she's done wrong so it HAS to be faced. The important point is, will she or can she change her spending habits?

Mojisola

malcindebt wrote: »

She's been complaining recently that she's skint, and has had me buying cigatrettes and other things for her, now I can see why.

You could use this as the reason that you want to talk about finances.

tea_lover

Was the bank statement left out in the open and you saw it as you moved it, or was it in an envelope/drawer/cupboard etc?

You need to speak to your wife, and you certainly need to stop subbing her gambling. But how you saw the statement is going to make a difference to the way the conversation goes.

Bamama

A bit of advice my dad gave me when I recently moved in with my b/f...

"So long as the bills are shared equally (we earn roughly the same) and you are covering them, then his money is his and yours is yours. If he spends all his and doesn't have money to cover his own petrol then it's his problem."

He said this after I pointed out that OH was complaining he never had money at the end of the month yet I knew he should have over £200 left a month (based on what I knew of his spending).

I wouldn't bother confronting her if she is paying her way towards the bills, whatever you agreed on. I would however, stop giving her money for cigarettes. If she asks why it's as simple as "my bank account isn't looking too healthy, perhaps you'll have to look at your spending and cut back so you can afford to buy your own or... stop smoking?"

bitemebankers

Bamama wrote: »

"So long as the bills are shared equally (we earn roughly the same) and you are covering them, then his money is his and yours is yours. If he spends all his and doesn't have money to cover his own petrol then it's his problem."

If only it were that simple. Believe me, if your spouse has a spending problem (be it due to a compulsive disorder, gambling addiction, whatever) then it IS your problem.

fluffnutter

19lottie82 wrote: »

nooooooooooooooooooooooooo worse thing you can ever do with someone who is financially irresponsible! if she get's in to debt and trashes her own credit rating, then his will be out the window too! :eek:

TBH, the fact that they're married, regardless of whether they have a joint account, is enough to tie them together financially.

fluffnutter

Bamama wrote: »

A bit of advice my dad gave me when I recently moved in with my b/f...

"So long as the bills are shared equally (we earn roughly the same) and you are covering them, then his money is his and yours is yours. If he spends all his and doesn't have money to cover his own petrol then it's his problem."

Doesn't really work like that if you're married.

19lottie82

fluffnutter wrote: »

TBH, the fact that they're married, regardless of whether they have a joint account, is enough to tie them together financially.

not true. unless they have a joint financial account or mortgage that is....

19lottie82

fluffnutter wrote: »

Doesn't really work like that if you're married.

for some people it does, for others it doesn't.