Worried about wife spending

Bamama

bitemebankers wrote: »

If only it were that simple. Believe me, if your spouse has a spending problem (be it due to a compulsive disorder, gambling addiction, whatever) then it IS your problem.

Who said she had a "spending problem"? £200 in 6 weeks maybe excessive for some but that doesn't mean it's a problem. We all get carried away now and then. It could even be a case that she doesn't even realise she's spending... perhaps signed up to spend a little for fun and hasn't realised that it's still taking cash.

aileth

Bamama wrote: »

He said this after I pointed out that OH was complaining he never had money at the end of the month yet I knew he should have over £200 left a month (based on what I knew of his spending).

Something similar happened to me with an ex. Kept saying how he didn't have enough money etc despite the fact he seemingly never bought anything. The relationship was going down the pan at the time and I didn't bother asking where he put the rest of it, just let it lie. We break up, I go over to pick up some stuff, on the kitchen table there was a brand new £££ watch and he was wearing a designer shirt.

You should try and broach the subject, there are some really good suggestions how to above. You might even getter a better reaction than the one you seem to be expecting.

Bamama

I'm not the one with the problem aileth.
But... I don't mind approaching him about it and will be asking him about it. We're a couple and he knows I'm always there for him. We will be looking at sorting something out so that he can start to have some savings of his own.

aileth

Bamama wrote: »

I'm not the one with the problem aileth.
But... I don't mind approaching him about it and will be asking him about it. We're a couple and he knows I'm always there for him. We will be looking at sorting something out so that he can start to have some savings of his own.

Sorry my bad my second paragraph was aimed at OP!!

Bamama

Oh teehee ^^

marleyboy

In your shoes I would drop a big enough hint so she knows I am aware of it. Indicating that it stops here. If it persisted I would confront her about it.

If its from her own spending money (after bills etc), I would advise her that in future she makes her own sacrifices to pay for it and stop bailing her out with the cigarettes.

nickj_2

whilst £200 is a huge amount over 6 weeks in the grand scheme of things , it is if you can't afford it ,
i would nip it in the bud sooner rather than later , -i discovered mrs j had been spending big time on catalogues , store/credit cards , .unfortunately not only wasn't she making the minimum repayments on some she wasn't making any payments at all , god only knows how much cash she's frittered away , in the end i took drastic action and sorted out the mess , 10 years later she's still not paid off the debt

bitemebankers

nickj wrote: »

whilst £200 is a huge amount over 6 weeks in the grand scheme of things , it is if you can't afford it

This, exactly. And from the sounds of they OP, they really can't afford it.

Fire_Fox

The spending is a problem if
1. It is leaving her/ you short
2. She is lying about it.

Don't confront, express you concerns. If she turns it into an argument just repeat quietly and calmly that you are very concerned and walk away.