anyone fancy a chat?

sured

do you think theres any point in going on my own?

newleaf

Definitely. And if you go, you may find he suddenly thinks it's worth going with you. I believe that's often the case (like kids, they don't like to think they're missing something).
Whichever, you have identified some difficulties and you want to find a way to make the relationship work. A relationship counsellor would help you to do that, either on your own or as a couple.

newleaf

Here's a link http://www.relate.org.uk/wantadvice/ to find out more.
Off to bed now, but I hope you feel better by morning

Becks_in_Debt

Sured, sorry you are feeling really confused at this moment in your life, ten years is a long time to be with somebody, I agree with newleaf, I think you should give councelling a go, have a chat with your OH and just say to him that if YOU WANT US TO WORK you need to come with me, but if he decides not to go still go on your own give it a go and then he might decide to join you later as . . . he might feel . . .
a) missing out on something or
b) he really loves you and feels if he doesnt go with you he might loose you.

Are you feeling any clearer today on what you want?

BIG HIG (Sorry the group hug has gone from the Smilies) BIG HUG

Anybody know's why it has disappeared . . .

newleaf

Here you are sured, this is for you. Hope you're feeling more positive this morning.

MustStopSpending

Sured, your situation seems very much like mine but I am only two years into it. I keep thinking that things will get better theolder we get, he'll want to stop partying, settle down, have kids etc etc. But then again will it all be too late by then and I'll have grown to hate him as much as I love him?

Won't depress myself with it all today though and wish I could offer you some good advice, but I can't. Sending you a big love though xxxxxxxx

sured

hi, thanks for thinking about me,
i'm a bit up and down again today,
i know what youre saying about the counselling, problem is its a bit difficult to speak to someone who appears to have vanished,
i erased his numbers from my phone, seemed like the best thing to do, as i didnt want to phone him at all,
i think we've all done the drunken late night calls before, :rotfl:
he took no clothes or anything, so no doubt the credit card will have taken a hammering,
and i'll have that to sort out,
i'm also a bit paranoid that the 'sue bashing club' will have been in full flow for the last 3 days,
is it too early wine, just kidding.
sue

MustStopSpending

Maybe when we're all debt free we can save up for a BIG BIG house in the country where only nice ladies can live, no mean men!!

lynsayjane

sured wrote: »

he took no clothes or anything, so no doubt the credit card will have taken a hammering,
and i'll have that to sort out,

is it a joint card? if not leave him to sort out his own mess!

sured

lynsayjane wrote: »

is it a joint card? if not leave him to sort out his own mess!

no its his own,
it would serve him right if i left him to get on with it.