In the words of Yazz...

please-let-me-be-lucky

I've just read your whole diary Fudge & I think you are doing brilliantly. I love your positivity and your honesty, these qualities will get you through your dark days.

You should definitely listen to my lovely friend Robin, she talks a lot of sense!!

Also, don't forget the other category when sorting your clothes - "weigh in" at one of those cash for clothes places.

PLMBL Xx

Fudgefund

Thanks Beanielou! That's definitely one challenge I should join, there's nothing I like more than a NSD. Apart from harping on about it here of course.

And thanks PLMBL! It's so nice to get some encouragement along the way. Robin has been such a good influence on me on here. I didn't keep a diary through the really rough stuff, but it's nice to be able to look back at things in black and white and see how I've coped, put things in perspective a bit. Very good thought about the clothes weighing places - there is one near me but I'm so timid about things. :think: Definitely need to work on that. I wouldn't ask for a refund a year ago!

Anyway, best be off to bed, I have a packed wholesome day ahead of me tomorrow. I've even got dough rising in the fridge over night. I know, I can't believe it either.

Fudgefund

Time for a daily update, mainly because I need a sit down.

I have had a very wholesome and busy day I'm pleased to report, and have managed to pack quite a bit in.

I managed to bake some bread, which was pretty passable! Paul Hollywood would've torn it apart (and not in a good way) but at least it was a free lunch, and there's enough left for another couple of days.

I also managed to haul myself out on a pretty embarrassing jog/walk but at least I lasted 30 minutes and the weather was lovely.

I've cleaned the bathroom, and been into town to change my address with the bank and to pay my loose change in (£15.43 since you ask ). Whilst in town I found some people giving out free mini tubes of Aquafresh! This is brilliant as I was down to my last squeeze and contemplating breaking into my budget. I wandered past a few times and got three tubes!

I need to start asking the universe for more stuff clearly.

I have got nowhere as yet with the mess/clothes in my room but I have put some washing on. I think I'm about half way through my list. I bought some eggs for the cake I'm making so this won't be a NSW, but I knew that anyway. I decided to spend the extra 60p and stick with free range, battery hens are a cut too far for me.

Paid £5 of my loose change off my Barclaycard. Every little helps and all that. In the £3400's now. :rotfl:

Fudgefund

And so my wholesome weekend draws to a close. I was a bit down yesterday evening and for much of today thinking of the ex frolicking in blackpool (he wasn't the type of frolic, but it was an inescapable thought). But I managed to keep myself on track and mostly stick to my goals. My lovely friend came round this evening to help me put my chests of drawers together and it's so nice having somewhere to put my clothes at last.

Money wise today hasn't been brilliant but it was all essential. I realised this living on bread and cake plan was fine for money saving but terrible for my general health so I decided to be sensible and bought fruit and yoghurt and stuff for teas. I also bought a poppy, meaning I spent roughly £11 today but it had to be done.

Positive things today:

Went for another run, even though I'm really aching now and my body clearly doesn't know what's hit it.
Made a very nice coconut cake, I did eat a bit too much of my butter icing but that was always going to happen.
Sorted out some of my clothes and got a lot of washing done (my old flat had a damp problem, so a lot of it smells horrid).
Didn't drink any alcohol! Particularly pleased with this one, although next weekend will be the test.

I am really tired now, but I feel like I've achieved quite a lot over this weekend when I could have either spent the weekend with my head in the sand (literally) following my ex around like a lost puppy, or moping about feeling sorry for myself. Just need to keep going forwards. :T

MuffinTops

Hi FF,

You've done remarkably well and it's nice to hear you give yourself some credit for it too. You're right about those inescapable thoughts. Why are our imaginations so cruel?

It sounds like your weekend was nicely productive. If you had gone to Blackpool I think your post would possibly be worrying about how much you spent and drank?

You've taken a massive step forward this weekend. x

*Robin*

Hello Fudgie, :hello:

MuffinTops is right - not one step forward but a huge great leap up to the mezzanine floor, you've managed to achieve this weekend! :j :T :j

Blackpool would have been a baaad step backwards for you Fudgie; if you'd succumbed, your hangover now would be compounded by the twin guilts of money and emotion both wasted on someone who definitely belongs in your past. With any luck he knows it now too and won't tempt you again.

Thank you for saying nice things about me, and for visiting my diary - d'you know, I think we'd get on if we met in RL. ..Just please never expect politenesses/lies-to-make-you-feel-better from me; I'd have made a rotten politician. :rotfl:

.

Fudgefund

Thanks you two.

I think if I had gone my post would've been a trainwreck, so I know I did the right thing. Considering I'm having to watch every penny now until I get paid, the idea of blowing it all on doughnuts and 2p machines seems hilarious. Behaviour that definitely belongs to the old me. I think we would get on in RL Robin, I seem to attract the no nonsense type, we find each other mutually amusing it seems!

As for today, not much to report really. I still feel like I'm swallowed a cactus whole, but better that than the snot stage. I spent 47p on some throat sweets which were totally worth it, and that was all. Managed to eat healthily, but didn't do any exercise as I am so stiff from the running at the weekend, and everyone needs a rest day. I still have a mountain of rubbish in my room to sort and I'm really not in the mood. I think it's the dark evenings, I just want to sit down with a book. Going home next weekend so just want the next 10 days to pass as quickly as possible. I know I shouldn't be wishing my life away, I'm just missing the folks at the moment.

Fudgefund

Not much to report today, but I am here anyway in the interests of staying on track.

I spent £2.35 on a hot chocolate out with a friend for lunch, but I don't mind that because it was worth it for a chat out of the wind and rain.

I went to the doctors, who has agreed to put me back on full time hours from Monday. :TThen went to work and wished I hadn't because people just whinged all day and put me in a bad mood. Swings and roundabouts and all that.

I've got to walk both to and from work tomorrow which may well kill me, but I'm putting it here because I'll be really embarrassed if I read this tomorrow evening and I haven't done it.

I'm getting quite excited about getting my credit card bill on the 7th. I know that's a bit weird, I'm just genuinely curious about how much the interest will be. I'll probably be sadly disappointed.

Fudgefund

I know the question on everyone's mind today has to have been, 'Did old Fudgefund make it on her walk into work today?', so here I am to put you all out of your misery...

No, it didn't happen. I overslept. This isn't the end of the world, it just means I bought my weekly bus ticket a day early and have shunted the problem onto next week. Hopefully I'll have grown accustomed to the dark evenings by then and be feeling a bit more energetic. Yeah.

So I spent my £12 on a bus ticket today, but I didn't spend anything else. I've been looking through my bank statement at the previous month and am frankly appalled at how many few pounds here and there I have been spending in Tesco's. I think next month the challenge has to be to stay out of there completely. I think it's the self serve check outs that do me in - you can buy any old rubbish without fear of judgement. Apart from when they malfunction and you have to call someone over, that's always horrendous. :rotfl:

So that is the challenge for November. I also want to stop my Bridget Jones-esque weigh in every morning, it's really silly. There's nothing good about hauling yourself out of bed in the morning to stand in your pants shivering and worrying over a 1/4 pound gain. If I can have the discipline to weigh myself once a week starting tomorrow I will know my self control is really back.

Over the hump of the week now! :j

*Robin*

Hiya Fudgie, :hello:

I know what you mean about MrT - it's just too easy to give in to those signs screaming "Special Offer!" and yellow ticket bargains, isn't it? Far better not to go through the door so frequently, and always clutching a list that you stick to.

By the way - I have to ask - who is Yazz?