In the words of Yazz...

Fudgefund

Thanks for the message Robin. :AI did read it before I got to DB's family gathering, very sage. I am pleased to report that all in all the event went as well as I could have hoped it would. My heart was in my mouth when I stepped off the train, and said hello to DB's Dad, but he was completely normal, made no reference whatsoever to the break up (or break down for that matter :rotfl:). Next came DB's Mum, who was just wonderful, really put me at my ease and gave me a hug, said how worried she'd been about me and how nice it was to see me! I was nearly in tears after all the worrying I had done. DB's sister was equally lovely and I hung around with her and DB for most of the party. I think it's still one of the most stressful things I've ever done, in the past when I've been seriously ill and made a spectacle of myself I've broken up the relationship I was in and not gone back, so have never really had to face up to my actions. There were people at the party who knew a lot more about what had happened and there were others who were just surprised to see me because they hadn't heard. It's DB's sister's 30th next week so I shall be back again, hopefully cementing the charm offensive. I do feel this time round a lot more comfortable in their company, I think I'm less plagued by self doubt.

I know you are right about Ebay, and heaven knows I need the money, but I've always found the prospect overwhelming. I have the next week off work (last day tomorrow! :j) so I may look into it on Saturday as I'm not doing anything else. I'm going to have to make my budget stretch very far this week, so no way will I be doing anything Saturday. I am looking forward to a few day trips though, and my Mum and nephew are meeting us in Blackpool which'll be really nice. Most of my budget this week is going to be swallowed by train fares. can't wait until I can start learning to drive.

beanielou

Good news about the weekend

please-let-me-be-lucky

So pleased weekend went well :T

If you do decide to lose your eb@y virginity, it's free listing this weekend Xx

Fudgefund

Kill the fattened calves, for I am back. Coincidentally with slightly fatter calves.

Soo, why has it been so long since I've updated my diary and what have I been up to since? I have been not very good with my money and not exactly forging an example anyone on here would deem useful. I had a delightful time away whilst on leave from work in May, but due to a number of factors I ended up having to lend DB money until he got paid (he moved house, his deposit was in a holding scheme, he had to pay two months rent etc), so I borrowed some money from my Mum and in the end I got in such a pickle it felt very much like a return to old ways. Until I a debt free I will not be lending money again, it was a flipping nightmare and I didn't want to admit that, which really didn't help matters!

I'm finding being back in a relationship incredibly hard for money saving. I have decided to sit DB down and tell him this is going to be a tight month whilst I get back on an even keel and hope he can support me. I don't want him to pay for me to do things, I want him to understand we can't do something because I have no money. I think it'll be an uphill struggle. I find it horrifically hard to say no to him. My other problem is that DB wants to go to the US on holiday in September which I really can't afford. I've jiggled my finances round the best I can but it's going to put my DFD back to Christmas which I really don't want. I've tried explaining this but he looks so darned disappointed. I actually don't think he's in a position to go - we'd be better off saving and going next year (he's not in debt but has no savings whatsoever). I will endeavour to make him see sense.

Hot on the heels of my £40 rent increase, I have been auto enrolled back into my work pension scheme in line with the Government plan. When I opted out of the pension scheme to repay my debts two years ago (ha!) I always intended to go back in, so in reality this is a very good thing. The trouble is, I'm another £70 down in my pay so now in real terms I have £110 a month less to live on. The joys. Apparently George Osborne gave public sector workers a 1% (break out the party rings!) rise this year but it doesn't seem to have made it's way to my pay yet. It all seems very bleak when I think of things like that.

But enough whinging, that will get me nowhere. I'm determined to update this diary at least twice a week for the next 4 weeks so that my credit card balance stays at £600 (thus pay off able next month, woo) and I stick to a budget. I'm home tonight, sober as a bottle of Schloer, and tomorrow night I'm also home being wholesome. This is hopefully a good kickstart to my cheap month. One month until I'm 30. Crikey.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Nice to have you back :j

Good luck with the chat with DB. I think if you pitch it to him the way you did to us then he will accept it ok.

I also have fatter calves than the last time we spoke

Fudgefund

Thanks PLMBL

I'm glad I'm not the only one carrying a little extra padding. :rotfl:Will read your diary tomorrow as part of the big catch up/spend no money campaign. xx

*Robin*

Hello Fudgie, :hello:

Fudgefund wrote: »

Kill the fattened calves, for I am back. Coincidentally with slightly fatter calves.

How lovely to see you posting again - was hoping the silence was because you've been busy in RL rather than being due to a less cheerful reason.

Fudgefund wrote: »

I had a delightful time away whilst on leave from work in May,

Good!

Fudgefund wrote: »

I ended up having to lend DB money .............. in the end I got in such a pickle it felt very much like a return to old ways. Until I a debt free I will not be lending money again, it was a flipping nightmare and I didn't want to admit that, which really didn't help matters!

Lesson learned. Good again. Well done.

Fudgefund wrote: »

I'm finding being back in a relationship incredibly hard for money saving. I have decided to sit DB down and tell him this is going to be a tight month whilst I get back on an even keel and hope he can support me. I don't want him to pay for me to do things, I want him to understand we can't do something because I have no money. I think it'll be an uphill struggle. I find it horrifically hard to say no to him. My other problem is that DB wants to go to the US on holiday in September which I really can't afford. I've jiggled my finances round the best I can but it's going to put my DFD back to Christmas which I really don't want. I've tried explaining this but he looks so darned disappointed. I actually don't think he's in a position to go - we'd be better off saving and going next year (he's not in debt but has no savings whatsoever). I will endeavour to make him see sense.

As Lucky says, if you explain it like that DB should hear you as it makes perfect sense. You'll end up having a much better holiday if you can take more time planning and saving up. Plus flights [and maybe hotels?] will be cheaper if you book further ahead.

Fudgefund wrote: »

Hot on the heels of my £40 rent increase, I have been auto enrolled back into my work pension scheme in line with the Government plan. When I opted out of the pension scheme to repay my debts two years ago (ha!) I always intended to go back in, so in reality this is a very good thing. The trouble is, I'm another £70 down in my pay so now in real terms I have £110 a month less to live on. The joys. Apparently George Osborne gave public sector workers a 1% (break out the party rings!) rise this year but it doesn't seem to have made it's way to my pay yet. It all seems very bleak when I think of things like that.

:think: You have a job. Hopefully on some far distant day you'll be glad of your pension. You have added incentive to walk to work - better weather for it too. Of course being £110pm down is another factor to mention to DB - if he's less than sympathetic that would [for me] be a marker as to the long-term possibilities of the relationship (worth knowing )..

Fudgefund wrote: »

I'm determined to update this diary at least twice a week for the next 4 weeks so that my credit card balance stays at £600 (thus pay off able next month, woo) and I stick to a budget. I'm home tonight, sober as a bottle of Schloer*, and tomorrow night I'm also home being wholesome. This is hopefully a good kickstart to my cheap month.

*What a wonderful image! :rotfl:
Hope you manage to stick to your updating plan as it's always a pleasure to read your posts - your writing is not just evocative but also witty; it could become an income stream one day so please do keep 'practising' on us!
(Commanding accurate spelling and grammar gives you a huge advantage over most of your peers ).

Fudgefund wrote: »

One month until I'm 30. Crikey.

Wow. Any plans to mark the milestone?
(IMHO it's a good one, though unlikely to bring as many positive changes as you can look forward to in another decade! )

ps. Love your new sig! :rotfl:

please-let-me-be-lucky

What happened to updating twice a week hmm?!

Hope you are ok Xx

Fudgefund

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

What happened to updating twice a week hmm?!

Haha, I had a feeling someone would point this out! In my defence I have been away from home for over a week now, only just got back to my slightly mouldy bedroom. Quite nice to see the old place. I have been staying at DBs, which whilst lovely to spend so much time with him has sent my eating habits all over the place. Looking forward to nice austere week with plenty of leafy greens and a few strawberries.

Thank you for your lovely comment Robin, I'm really flattered. I enjoy updating my diary, when I've got something positive to report! I have to say I am not suffering any of the fear of the thirties so prevalent in today's youth. I was a miserable teenager, an ever-so-slightly less miserable twenty something, so I have every confidence that my thirties should see me crack a smile at least four times. :rotfl:I'm planning to go to Southport the night before my birthday, wake up there by the sea with DB (in a hotel, fear not), and then have a small gathering of friends in the evening. I'm going to see my family the weekend after it, which is going to be a bit hair raising as DB's parents have been invited, but it should be a nice weekend. I've never had my parents meet anyone else's parents before (my reaction of 'I'm not pregnant, we're not engaged, is this necessary' didn't go down too well) but I'm sure it'll be fine. I think my Dad will struggle, but then he struggles in most social situations.

Enough about me ageing though, and back to the week that was. It was DB's birthday this week, and I was out on Friday night, which all in all contributed to an overspend of £30 which in the grand scheme of things could have been far worse. I have drawn up a budget for this week until Friday and I'm hoping to pull the £30 back with a £15 week. I have no plans apart from Orange Wednesday at the cinema, which leaves only food (I now have a monthly bus pass deducted straight from my wages). I have quite a lot in, so all I need to buy is salad stuffs and things for rolls at lunchtime. I think this is a realistic target, hingeing mostly on me taking lunch to work everyday. DB gets paid on Friday so he's taking me out for something to eat so that's another dinner paid for.

I need to return something to Debenhams this week, but I have a morbid fear of refunds, so this is target number two.

Fudgefund

The mythical midweek post!

My second update of the week is somewhat lacking the optimistic tone of the first one, but I'll try to be as upbeat as possible. I was hit with a terrible attack of PMT this week which I occasionally suffer from so badly it feels a lot like a slide back into depression. I have to remind myself it will be a very temporary set back and I'll have to be as nice to myself as possible until it passes. I was struggling badly on Monday and Tuesday but I popped round to DBs on Tuesday night and he bought me a chocolate cake and things improved from then on. Money wise I didn't manage to stick to my £15 budget but I did post a respectable spend of £25, most of the extra £10 going on junk food and easy living I'm afraid. But setting the bar so low gave me a good end figure so i'm quite pleased really.

I still have my number one low cost lunch for tomorrow (that's pitta and hummus for the uninitiated) and DB is taking me for a cheap and cheerful meal tomorrow night so that should round off my week nicely. I'm hoping for a repeat performance next week, I might even set myself a NSD target for the first time in ages. I've made no inroads on the refund, but I'm hoping to get up the nerve on Saturday.

I think I'm slowly winning the holiday war, DB is acclimatising to the fact that not only can I not afford to go to America on holiday, neither can he. A bit more gentle pursuasion and I'm sure I'll be knocking back Sangria on a cheap holiday before he knows what happened. :rotfl:My family have offered to give me currency for my holiday for my thirtieth birthday present, so that'll be really handy. I'm getting a gift voucher from work, so I'm thinking I'll ask for one for Coast or Debenhams so I can get the accessories for my outfit for the wedding of the year without actually having to spend any of my own money. So MSE. :money: