The Great 'What you wish you'd known when you had a baby' Hunt 2012



  • threemuttleys
    threemuttleys Forumite Posts: 853 Forumite
    Follow your instinct.
    Comfy clothes
    throw away plates and cutlery
    cheap cheap poo stains whether its primark or gap
  • FunWithFlags
    FunWithFlags Forumite Posts: 123 Forumite
    I wish I'd known that everybody has an opinion about raising babies and as soon as they spot you with one they feel the need to tell you how to do this and how to do that even if you have never met them before in your life. Don't get me wrong, advice is great when you ask for it (like this idea for a thread!), but unsolicited advice gets to be a pain. My tip would be to take it all with a pinch of salt and just stick with how you feel and what suits you and baby (and partner) best and stay strong when people try to redirect you.

    My other advice is avoid baby forums like the plague. They tend to be full of "militant mums" who will judge each other for everything! Ask for advice on how to make your bottle? Get bashed by the breastfeeders. Ask for advice on how to get baby to latch on to breast? Get bashed by bottle feeders for making them feel guilty. Ask for advice on helping baby sleep? See your advice thread turn into a crying it out debate. Obviously this might be just the sites I've tried (some big well known ones though!) but I found rather than helping me make choices or find tips or support, these forums make me feel guilty for the things I don't do and also for the things I do do lol. If I need advice, I post on here now because it seems to be a more level headed bunch of people so I tend to get more balanced replies.

    I remember these last three weeks and oh does it drag! :rotfl:
  • ikkle87
    ikkle87 Forumite Posts: 8,449
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Don't think that just cos you have a due date your baby will arrive on time - going overdue sucks major donkey do.

    Trust your instincts, everyone will have an opinion but what works for one doesn't always work for another.
    You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

    xx Mama to a gorgeous Cranio Baby xx
  • mildred1978
    mildred1978 Forumite Posts: 3,367 Forumite
    Cazza1234 wrote: »
    Don't waste money on all the things they advise you to buy. most of them aren't necessary!!
    Don't be afraid to accept second hand clothes etc - they are in them such a short amount of time - I recently bought some brand new pram shoes from a charity shop for 99p - bargain. , .

    Like pram shoes?
    Science adjusts its views based on what's observed.
    Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved.
    :A Tim Minchin :A
  • Chopsie&Chelvis
    Chopsie&Chelvis Forumite Posts: 409 Forumite
    Gro bags (or the supermarket versions) are fab. My daughter went from sleeping 2 hours at a time to 4/5 hours when we swapped to them. They kick blankets off too easily and get chilly.

    Don't stock up on medicines - they are more likely to go off before they're used and you might never need them anyway (like my DD and the HUGE unused bottle of cradle cap solution). Unless you live in the sticks, there's always a 24 hour supermarket or chemist nearby.

    Don't stockpile lots of nappies either - my daughter was in size one for months, sizes 2, 3 and 4 for a matter of weeks each, then has been in 4+ for about 5 months. We had a lot of 2/3/4s left over. Wipes though are always worth keeping in - I like Huggies (tear a bit more, but thicker and feel smoother).

    Don't pressure yourself to do to much with the baby - I felt I had to take her out every day, go to several groups, do non stop activities etc. They don't need it when they're tiny; in fact, it can overstimulate them, and you get utterly exhausted and run down in the process! I ended up at the doctors, close to collapse with trying to do too much. It's easy to forget that things as simple as washing up, tidying, looking out the window are all completely new and novel to a small baby. I put my baby in her bouncy chair and would sit her watching me as I did chores or activities - I would narrate to her what I was doing or show her interesting things, but she was enthralled just by watching me. Save the energy til they're crawling/walking, and just do one walk/group a day, unless you need to get out.

    Ignore all the smug parents whose babies sleep through at one day, walk at 5 months and have written their first novel by a year. There's one in every parents' group - just ignore them and make friends with the people rolling their eyes at them, they're the nice normal people!

    The first 6-12 weeks are hellish. Absolute pure hell. Keep that in mind, remember that there IS an end to it, and you'll survive. It really does get better from then on!
  • pippinpuss
    pippinpuss Forumite Posts: 98
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I got fed up asking people to 'excuse me' when out with my pushchair & them ignoring me, so I got a bicycle bell put on the handle. People move quickly if they think a bike is going to run them over & it saves your voice too.
  • suki1001
    suki1001 Forumite Posts: 2,482 Forumite
    ems2 wrote: »
    I would avoid the sign on the door, babies need to learn how to sleep like everything else and it will be easier, for parents and the baby, if they can do it with a bit of normal noise.
    Fairly certain not everyone will agree so should point out jmo.

    I think later on this is good advice - my sister came to my house, switched the tv off and told my children off for making a noise and basically took over the house when her son was a baby, just so he could sleep - I did point out there were bedrooms upstairs.

    However, a sign in the first week, when you have lots of visitors and you're just getting the hang of things is a good idea.

    I agree about buying everything new - most items aren't long lived, scour the car boots, you can get some brilliant stuff in very good condition. I got a great sturdy 3 wheeler pushchair for £20. Most people want rid because it's cluttering up their house.

    I also agree about the comment making, remind yourself you're doing fine. When my toddler was throwing a tantrum and I was struggling in a town centre and my baby was 2 days old, a woman marched up to me and told me i was a disgrace for a mother. Even though my mother was with me and she was a pre-school teacher. I felt devastated.

    Don't be afraid to ask for help.

    Enjoy your baby - blow the housework!
    MSE Forum's favourite nutter :T
  • bromleymum
    bromleymum Forumite Posts: 145 Forumite
    Don't over stock up on first size nappies. They'll grow out of them really quickly.

    Whatever pushchair you choose make sure it actually fits in the boot of your car!!! My friend bought a Bebecar (remember them) and she had to take the wheels off to close her car. Nightmare.

    Personally, I did feel better if I had a shower and put my makeup on. Grab that 15 minutes before hubby leaves for the day as I did really feel better if I managed to not look like the living dead.

    I attempted to breastfeed all three of mine and by the third I'd cracked it. Regardless of what you read I found it really, really difficult especially with the first baby. Here's my experience for what it's worth...

    You are breastfeeding all the hours of the day for at least the first four/five weeks. This is normal.

    Breastfed babies take a little longer to put on weight initially but eventually the playing field is levelled. Don't worry and seek reassurance from your health visitors.

    It is a bit "ouch" in the early days but this goes.

    Hope this helps.

    PS: Please don't turn this into a debate about breast vs bottle. I did both with different babies and have no preference. It's just that I never appreciated how blooming challenging breastfeeding was for me.
  • Amanda65
    Amanda65 Forumite Posts: 2,076
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    When people come round to visit and see the baby, have tea, coffee, sugar, mugs and milk readily available and don't be afraid to ask them to make the refreshments. I can clearly remember a group of friends from work coming round when DD1 was about 3 weeks old, all chatting on my living room while I ran round making their drinks. All the niceties of being a good host go out of the window when you have had little sleep, sore nipples and stitches!
  • fluffnutter
    fluffnutter Forumite Posts: 23,179 Forumite
    Personally I found the 'go with your instincts' advice the most useless ever. I didn't 'instinctively' know what I needed to do when my baby wouldn't latch on and feed at 3am and I was panicking that he'd get dehydrated. What I needed was practical support.

    * Sleep when they sleep
    * If you choose to breastfeed, expect it be hard, especially at first, and don't stop asking for help if you need it.
    * Get on here on the parenting thread. The most valuable, supportive group of people you could hope for.
    "Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.
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