I want to take my kids on holiday IN the UK, ex says no

fawd1

pinkshoes wrote: »

Invite your ex along too! The kids will love it!

I cannot personally imagine anything worse. Imagine having to have your ex there during your holidays, when you want to be with your family and have some fun. Also, imagine being the ex and going to stay with your exs extended family, who you know don't want you there. Horrible for everyone!

londoner01

fawd1 wrote: »

I cannot personally imagine anything worse. Imagine having to have your ex there during your holidays, when you want to be with your family and have some fun. Also, imagine being the ex and going to stay with your exs extended family, who you know don't want you there. Horrible for everyone!

As well as this, you'd have to consider whether it could be confusing for your children to see you and your ex still together, it sends a confusing message!

Talk to your ex and consider compromising with her, possibly on length of stay.

Could you relations come and visit you from Scotland?

evilsquid1603

taking a child to Scotland is actually classed as removing the child from the jurisdiction if you have a residence order. its legally not a case of "the UK", its out of England and Wales.

does she have a genuine reason why she is saying no? you can get legal advice and possibly apply for a specific issue order to allow the kids to go but that will probably annoy her even more and cost you money.

the best thing to do is to talk to her. find out her exact reasons for saying no and figure out anything you can to put her mind at rest. They will be meeting their family which is important to them to know and understand who they are and where they come from. its not simply a jolly off somewhere, its a family occasion.

can you not set up boundaries like you will make sure they call her every evening at a certain time so she knows they are safe and well and provide her with confirmation of the bookings and the addresses where they will be staying so she knows where they are?

will she accept a family member who is attending that she trusts to also independently let her know that the kids are there and are still safe?

if you do have a residence order in her favour, point out to her that if you don't return them when you say you will, she can call the police and have them returned to her under the order so that really isn't an issue or a reason to say no.

speak to your solicitor as soon as possible, they will be able to give you advice on this and communicate with your ex and her solicitors on your behalf. you may also be more likely to negotiate a middle ground that way, her solicitor wont be as emotionally charged and will explain your side to her.

LondonDiva

pag78 wrote: »

I have asked thier mothers permission (3.5 weeks notice) to take them away (not that i need it in england or wales) without telling her where i was planning to go

Please could you explain this a bit more

newcook

pag78 wrote: »

... without telling her where i was planning to go, .

I think this is possibly the problem – she wants to know where her children are. Yes, they will be safe with you and your family but I’d be more worried if she didn’t want to know where or with who you were staying!

Let her know where you will be staying, phone numbers for those you are visiting/staying etc and let her know she can call at any time if it puts her mind at ease. From the sound of it with your usual access you get along quite amicably.

As for those who have said to just take them (and turn off the phones!) and call when you get back is just plain selfish! I know that there are some parents out there who stop access and make life extremely difficult but to put the other parent in a position where they are worried out of their mind because they don’t know where their child is, who they are with or when they will be back is just plain wrong.