I want to take my kids on holiday IN the UK, ex says no

Mojisola

life_unexpected wrote: »

I would suggest you sit down with your ex and discuss why she would not want them to go to scotland with the children .
i know you say that you don't need her permission to take the children on holiday but I presume from what you have said she is the primary care giver for the children and if you were to take the children without discussing this with her first could find that you are making a rod for your own back regarding contacted in the future.

But so is she - if this ended up in court, such a refusal would be seen as unreasonable. The children have a right to get to know the rest of their family in Scotland.

*Robin*

This is a good opportunity to develop friendship and co-operation between you and Ex. Take her too, paying for her and these very young children to stay in a B&B if she would be uncomfortable staying with your family, then visit your relations together. The kids will have a much better holiday if Mum is there too.

Hard for both the adults, but in the kids' best interests. You and Ex will be tied together until they grow up; it's far better for your children if you two can avoid fighting - up to you to be the grown-up, and put the interests of your babies first.

Sorry if this seems harsh; please remember it's not the kids' fault their parents decided to split up.

RadoJo

I agree with Robin, although I would suggest that you perhaps offer to split the cost of a B and B as that is more than a fair compromise when you consider that you are going above and beyond what is actually required of you. I can completely understand her not wanting to be separated for that length of time, but it is in the children's interests to meet their extended family so she needs to put their needs ahead of her own desire to be with them. Coming along and sharing the cost of a B and B seems more than fair to me, and if you suggest that then you are at least offering a compromise so hopefully she will see that you are making an effort to accommodate her.

Mrs.W_2

Is there any kind of court ordert on access dates and times? If not, it's all up to you and your ex to agree between yourselves. Simply try to reassure her that Scotland is not the ends of the earth, and certainly not outside the UK!

If there's no court order or RO in place, you can essentially do as you please as you've PR. But....It all comes down to talking it through for the good of future relations with the ex. A pain in the !!!!, but true. Sorry.

Riversong

I agree. If theres no provision in a visitation order I would just take them. You don't need permission for taking them places locally?

My situation is very different. But we would just take SS, ask him to turn off his phone and let her know when we got back.

But then as said above you have to consider. would she stop/make access difficult. Would she come for more money.

kowloonboy

pag78 wrote: »

I know, but the law is different and im not sure of my rights?

The law sometimes are different there.

FBaby

From a legal perspective you could probably do what you want but it could be the last time. Unfortunately anything you do against the mum wish is likely to lead to future difficulties for you. It should be you're right to do what you want and it is but in this case you benefit more from negotiating with the ex and try to come with a resolution than to use the fact that the legal route is in your favour.

pinkshoes

Invite your ex along too! The kids will love it!

waiax73

I feel really bad for you man.... Honestly I can't understand how people can be so mean to others, years after being in love and having kids together.....

Good luck with sorting it out!

Cheers,
Martyn

Welshwoofs

What's the Mother normally like? Is she type who can't stand to let her child out of her sight for 24hrs? If so, it may be not be the fact that it's Scotland that's worrying her, but that she doesn't want to cut the apron strings for a few days..no matter where you're going.

It's one you're going to have to talk to about to try to get to the bottom of.

Personally I wouldn't go for the options of inviting her along and offering to pay for her.....I can't imagine most people would want an ex tagging along on holiday with them or that most ex's would want to go on a trip to see their erstwhile partner's relatives!