At 27, my life is rubbish.

CFC

Hiya, just wanted to say, don't feel guilty.

After all, people with middle aged parents move to Australia and see them once every couple of years...and when the parents are old and the clock's ticking, they know the score. Doesn't make them bad people, does it? You have to live your life the way you want to live it, and the place you want to live it....and if that means being a long way from your father, that's the way it has to be. Could be worse, it could be Australia.

Penny-Pincher!!

Hi

I'm not going to go into any detail, but I had a very similar childhood to you, although I didnt put myself into care and the abuse started much earlier. Luckily for me though I had some closure as 2 people involved got sent to prison one for 15yrs and the other 2yrs:rolleyes: the third person I have never reported.

Anyway....move on quite a few years as I am now 32 and I am a very strong person. I suffered sever manic depression and have had pschotherapy for 5yrs, this has helped me so much and I have even chosen a qualification in social work and pschology:rotfl:

I have always just got on with it and it never kept me from working which I was doing and doing well till 2yrs ago when I became basically disabled and my OH had to stop work to look after me FT. I am in a wheelchair, in pain and tired all the time, have to rely on benefits etc etc.

Somedays I wish this had never happened to me but TBH, it has made me the strong person I am today. We cant do anything about our past but we can change our future. You do need proffesional help and someone who will listen and not judge.

Guilt is the biggest part of child abuse, but what have we got to be guilty about...we didnt do anything wrong! It was never us, it was them!

Chin up hun. I wish you well.

Hugs

PP
xx

Broken_hearted

Hugs tinandsue, glad you are feeling better. Back to your first post we survive because we have to, some fall into downward spirals others like you stand up and refuse to be a victim.
As for emotions guilt and fear are the worst and most overused. A child shouldn't feel guilty because an adult hurt them. Other peoples views on you don't matter. Stay strong, always look forward never back and smile.

itsarichmansworld

Hi

From one survivor to another I went through a similar upbringing I was abused from a very young age by a parent. I was put in care as my parents didnt "know" how to look after us thats when the social services realised we where being abused as well.

Sometimes It hurts and I dwell on it but the Fighter in me makes me want to get on and be a success and not let what these people done to me effect the rest of my life.

I havent had counselling but I think it may be something I may have to go out and get eventually.

I understand and empathise completely with you but you are a Survivor and you will get through this.

If you ever need to talk PM me.

Much love xxx

Ivrytwr3

Blimey, what a nasty series of events that has happened to you; been taken advantage of at such a young age. You sound as if you have your life back on track and my only comment would be about your father's actions and what he has done with his life compared to you.

He fought so future generations didn't have to. I am in the Forces and go to these God awful places to help those less fortunate and in order for my children to be brought up in a, hopefully, less violent and exploited World.

I'm sure you're father would hate you to see the things that he has seen. Don't dwell on things like this, next time you see your dad, give him a hug and just say "thank you".

jo1972

Hi there,

I just wanted to say hi, you've had some great advice here and I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss all what you've told us and tell him that you don't feel happy. You are a very strong person, I've got 3 kids and sometimes need the patience of a saint so who know's how you cope!! I think maybe you should take the previous advice about the £5 coach trip, I know you said you have the kids and husband too but i think you need to sit and tell your husband that you need a couple of days alone with your dad cos you are worried that time it ticking away. I'm sure he won't mind looking after the kids for a couple of days while you spend some quality time with your dad.

Good luck, I'll watch out for your progress, hope you get to see your dad soon. I worshipped the ground that my dad walked on, he died when he was 65, I was 21. I sat with him in the hospital holding his hand as he took his last breath and as he was unconcious I don't know if he heard me say thank you and how much I love him or not. Please try and go see him.

Jo.x