Almost adult teenager and studying - or not!

mountainofdebt

I was in exactly the same situation as you OP when Junior sat one of his A2 exams early - only to get a bare pass.

So what I did was to go and see his teachers and his head of year - without his knowledge - and had a good honest chat with them and we came up with a plan of action.

I let them tell him what we'd agreed - something that didn't go down well at the time - but I stuck to my guns ....every week I phoned the head of year to check everything was going back on track and fortunately it did ....well almost he failed to get into his 1st choice but his reserve accepted him.

(also included me taking the internet cable to work so his internet wouldn't work)

Am I glad I did it ? Yes . Would I do it again if I had another child in that situation ? Too right.

OP you can either help him to clear up the mess (he may think he's left it too late so what's the point) now or be ready with the tissues next August.

KxMx

Glad it worked out for you mountainofdebt.

You are very lucky because similar treatment from my mother has only led to me pulling further and further away from her much sooner and harder than ideally I would have done.

I see similar things on MSE all the time (ie treating dd/ds like a child with one hand and adult with the other) and the reason I see it for what it is is because I have been on the other end of such treatment and know what the damage can be. I am sure each parent has perfect, flawless justification but ask your dd/ds and you may be surprised by the different picture they paint.

If you could only know the damage it could lead to!

onlyroz

kazd wrote: »

However, we suggested that he does a general maths degree and take the three or four years to really find out what it is he wants to do. A maths degree can open many doors not just accountancy.

*If* he is naturally gifted at maths and *if* he can get onto and succeed in a maths degree then the world will be his oyster. He could go into accountancy if he wanted, or he could move into banking/actuarial/software/engineering etc as well if he did well enough.

kazd

onlyroz wrote: »

*If* he is naturally gifted at maths and *if* he can get onto and succeed in a maths degree then the world will be his oyster. He could go into accountancy if he wanted, or he could move into banking/actuarial/software/engineering etc as well if he did well enough.

Exactly, but also doing a maths degree is good for a wide range of other careers, does not have to be maths based..

My point is that he can still go the accountancy route if that's what he wants but it keeps his options open.

Anyway long chat with him tonight and he said he definitely wants to go to University but just wanted a back up plan. The thing is he is capable but he has to accept that A level is a whole different ball game and he cannot get by on sheer ability like he did at GCSE's, he needs to it effort in. I also suggested that we would talk to his Maths tutor and he is happy for us to do that which would suggest he does not think he has anything to hide.

Maybe I am worrying over nothing but he just comes out with these things every so often that send me in to a bit of a flat spin. :eek:

Seanymph

he could do a degree in the simpsons and go into accountancy I think.

You can do a one year 'top up' - he certainly doesn't need maths to do it.

And he can love maths - my daughter loved maths, won regional competitions, was in the top three in her school, was doing Cambridge entrance stuff for fun at High school - but A levels are different - when you have the best in a huge area in one classroom coming to terms with not being the best is hard.

And we have looked at maths degrees at open days and that is not what interests her - the pure maths stuff isn't her thing.

She is now looking at completely different degrees.

If your son remains excited by the changes in curriculum to degree (and I accept all uni's are different, we looked at the faculty in Leeds) - then the world really is his oyster if he can pass it. To do accountancy he doesn't need maths as his degree.

Sezzagirl

At risk of throwing a cat amongst your pigeons, if your son really wants to do accountancy, a degree may not be his best option!

I know an accountant who bemoans the fact that young people are being told by society that they "have" to do a degree when they could train with a reputable firm and get to the same point as a degree student in far less time with far less student cost to pay back.

Hopefully your son's back up plan involves talking to accountancy firms and finding out just what they require from their applicants.

Also, KPMG (I think) had a student scheme announced last year where they will sponsor students and they give them work experience and pay towards the course - I think! Sponsored schemes like this might be worth exploring as they probably have their pick of sturdents so it would be a good carrot to encourage your son!

Silaqui

Look into the AAT as a route into accounting as well.

In terms of his studying, it might be worth giving the school a ring. I am a 6th Form tutor in a secondary school and I know that if a parent shows some concern about study habits, it's possible for (at our school at least) the student to be put on 'supported study' in their free lessons where they have to report to a supervised study room instead of just doing what they want.

Something that worked well last year with one of my demotivated y13 students was buddying him up with a student in y12 doing the same subject - he was able to mentor the younger student as he'd already done the course, whilst developing skills together. (I think the younger student actually taught him quite a lot :P)

As a tutor, I make a point of doing regular one to one interviews with my tutees - I do stuff with them like help them plan time, identify places to go and study, organise notes - again, see if this is being done at his school. I also run a study club for my tutees - I provide biscuits and tea/coffee if they spend an hour after school in my classroom working, its generally well attended and they bring their friends from other tutor groups as well!

They may be nearly 18 but often they are still in a 'school' mindset - sometimes they need some pushing to get them started in the right direction. Definitely liaise with the school as there will be plenty that they can do to help.

x

kazd

Sezzagirl wrote: »

At risk of throwing a cat amongst your pigeons, if your son really wants to do accountancy, a degree may not be his best option!

I know an accountant who bemoans the fact that young people are being told by society that they "have" to do a degree when they could train with a reputable firm and get to the same point as a degree student in far less time with far less student cost to pay back.

Hopefully your son's back up plan involves talking to accountancy firms and finding out just what they require from their applicants.

Also, KPMG (I think) had a student scheme announced last year where they will sponsor students and they give them work experience and pay towards the course - I think! Sponsored schemes like this might be worth exploring as they probably have their pick of sturdents so it would be a good carrot to encourage your son!

There is though a glass ceiling if you don't have a degree. I would rather he kept his options open because he has said that he does to know what he wants to do and only says accountancy because maths is his favoured subject.

So yes without a degree he could still train as an accountant but there is only so far he can go if he was lucky enough to get into one of the big companies.

kazd

Silaqui wrote: »

Look into the AAT as a route into accounting as well.

In terms of his studying, it might be worth giving the school a ring. I am a 6th Form tutor in a secondary school and I know that if a parent shows some concern about study habits, it's possible for (at our school at least) the student to be put on 'supported study' in their free lessons where they have to report to a supervised study room instead of just doing what they want.

Something that worked well last year with one of my demotivated y13 students was buddying him up with a student in y12 doing the same subject - he was able to mentor the younger student as he'd already done the course, whilst developing skills together. (I think the younger student actually taught him quite a lot :P)

As a tutor, I make a point of doing regular one to one interviews with my tutees - I do stuff with them like help them plan time, identify places to go and study, organise notes - again, see if this is being done at his school. I also run a study club for my tutees - I provide biscuits and tea/coffee if they spend an hour after school in my classroom working, its generally well attended and they bring their friends from other tutor groups as well!

They may be nearly 18 but often they are still in a 'school' mindset - sometimes they need some pushing to get them started in the right direction. Definitely liaise with the school as there will be plenty that they can do to help.

x

He does mentor younger students of different ages throughout the school years. He also helps out his peers and his siblings and I think he actually really enjoys it which makes me think that maybe a career in teaching would suit him. He also coaches the juniors at our local Taekwondo club.

Your last paragraph strikes a chord though, I said the same thing last night that he still hasn't grasped that he needs to be putting more effort off his own back. Not just doing the minimum that his tutor has set.

FATBALLZ

If he's 17/18 I'm not sure how much more you can do for him. You can given him a lecture about his future but he's no longer at an age where his parents advice will be taken as gospel.

I was a bit lazy at that age too, I didn't do nearly as well at GSCE or A-Level as I should have done, and had to take a course at a 'lesser' Uni, but ended up with a 2:1 and my career has turned out as well as I possibly could have expected so far despite this, although this is really because I did start to work very hard from my 2nd year of Uni onwards.