Violent special needs/autism teenager help!

eskimo26

verysillyguy06 wrote: »

'Leaving at the office' is often used and to be honest just makes the parents appear as if they do not care enough as she would be in an environment that would scare her...not a good tactic and certainly not fair. Better to stick with school, even that is questionable but at least she would feel safe...try and work things out. Keep her interests there in the focus as she knows school. But do write the letter and copy manager and MP in if relative have got already contact with MP. Give deadlines, that is important.

It sounds a very anxious time...is there no relative that could help?? In the short term?

The child will just suffer so much potentially if this goes down that quickly as there is no time to prepare her .

Ask to speak to manager and dont get fobbed off...again, give deadlines....

£800 for overnights....and with people that dont know her??

See what school may be able to help to prepare or have an emergency pack for communication...? What is her understanding like? Social Care would usually talk to school as well...

I am very concerned about how your niece would react...poor girl

Hi, I believe the she has stayed at the overnight respite centre before and enjoyed it, sadly though they are the cheapest option they go no where near to full filling the kind of respite care and space the family needs right now.

I will start liaising with the school, they have after school clubs but its £10 each and will only keep her busy for an hour or so.

With regards to family we are the closest, unfortunately i am the only one with free time but it would be inappropriate for me to try to fill in a caring role which is the greatest need, as I am a man. It is also impractical for me to fill in enough to make a difference with regards to baby sitting because i suffer from CFS and will be easily exhausted for days.

I am however a reasonable letter writer and am good at getting in touch with the right people and i'm not afraid to go above someone, something my Uncle and Aunt would struggle to do.

nlj1520

You asked whether if they refuse to have her home they would lose contact..............no, not at all. When my son went into emergency respite there was a break when I didn't see him, to let me recover a bit. To be honest, by then I was terrified of him as he was 15 and I had been caring for him alone for 5 years. When he went to residential school I visited him once or twice a week and now he's in his adult placement I usually see him once a week, sometimes we go out with staff, sometimes we just hang out at his home.
After I was forced to say he couldn't come home we got an agreement where I retained parental responsibility. I think it was called a shared care agreement, with me retaining control, but Social Services and later Health taking some of the responsibility.
Now he is an adult the law has changed and I have a HUGE input into what happens in his life. The law says that parents have to be listened to and consulted and my son's care provider is very mindful of my views and actively seek my input into managing any problems that come up.
You could also try contacting the Challenging Behaviour Foundation for advice. They have Family Support workers who are really knowledgable about the systems and what help can be looked at. They are also really good at advice on managing behaviour which challenges.
Good luck, keep us posted on how things are going if you havew time.

eskimo26

Update on this as the social worker is working quickly, the £800 pounds for care is no longer viable because the place she has been sent before has no availability.

Instead she has approached another centre for overnight respite for 2 days a week, ironically this is less then we would have got using the £800.

I've asked for a carer for her flare-up periods [mornings and nights] instead of immediate respite as a compromise as we don't want to throw her in a situation were a place is strange to her.

Last night she was striking my uncle over the head over a period of two hours and this morning beat her mother as she tried to prepare her for school.

We're still maintaining her presence in the home is a serious health risk to my uncle. I notice he is taking his oxygen in the day now, perhaps because she beats him at night or perhaps because he needs more due to the stress.

verysillyguy06

eskimo26 wrote: »

Update on this as the social worker is working quickly, the £800 pounds for care is no longer viable because the place she has been sent before has no availability.

Instead she has approached another centre for overnight respite for 2 days a week, ironically this is less then we would have got using the £800.

I've asked for a carer for her flare-up periods [mornings and nights] instead of immediate respite as a compromise as we don't want to throw her in a situation were a place is strange to her.

Last night she was striking my uncle over the head over a period of two hours and this morning beat her mother as she tried to prepare her for school.

We're still maintaining her presence in the home is a serious health risk to my uncle. I notice he is taking his oxygen in the day now, perhaps because she beats him at night or perhaps because he needs more due to the stress.

Sounds at least that things are moving. It was the right decision if your relatives can cope to ask for help in the house...it will also ease the anxieties on your uncle and will help to show how difficult your niece is....:(

I do hope that she will calm down

nlj1520

I have just come in from a Challenging Behaviour National strategy Group meeting. One of the family carers there said that in her area she felt that regularly Social Services CREATED safeguarding issues by their action or by omitting to act. Would it be worth contacting the safeguarding officer at the County Council to report what ishappening in this case? I have no idea whether it will achieve anything useful, but you could always hgave a conversation about a hypothetical situation and ask what input they could have? then if it is helpful give more details?

verysillyguy06

nlj1520 wrote: »

I have just come in from a Challenging Behaviour National strategy Group meeting. One of the family carers there said that in her area she felt that regularly Social Services CREATED safeguarding issues by their action or by omitting to act. Would it be worth contacting the safeguarding officer at the County Council to report what ishappening in this case? I have no idea whether it will achieve anything useful, but you could always hgave a conversation about a hypothetical situation and ask what input they could have? then if it is helpful give more details?

Could they teach techniques to parents? That would be useful ?

nlj1520

Verysillyguy........the Challenging Behaviour Foundation certainly could teach techniques, they have DVDs and information sheets and some really knowledgeable and helpful Family Support Workers who will spend as long as it takes talking things through with family carers.
I am not one of the Family Support workers, but have used their service and they were really, realy wonderful.

verysillyguy06

nlj1520 wrote: »

Verysillyguy........the Challenging Behaviour Foundation certainly could teach techniques, they have DVDs and information sheets and some really knowledgeable and helpful Family Support Workers who will spend as long as it takes talking things through with family carers.
I am not one of the Family Support workers, but have used their service and they were really, realy wonderful.

I am desperately looking for an organisation that will teach parents 'handling techniques'...most of the parents I know had courses until doomsday on how to calm a situation down and they are the experts anyway but no-one will teach parents, only professionals. Are you saying they could teach parents?

When I approached them, it was all about 'calming down ' and they told me they would not teach parents 'handling techniques'...however, for parents who had nothing yet, I would imagine they are great. I had a look at their material but it is not fantastic if you had other courses on behavioural techniques already....imo.

However, OP, I would think they are certainly worth a look at for your uncle

delain

verysillyguy06 wrote: »

I am desperately looking for an organisation that will teach parents 'handling techniques'...most of the parents I know had courses until doomsday on how to calm a situation down and they are the experts anyway but no-one will teach parents, only professionals. Are you saying they could teach parents?

When I approached them, it was all about 'calming down ' and they told me they would not teach parents 'handling techniques'...however, for parents who had nothing yet, I would imagine they are great. I had a look at their material but it is not fantastic if you had other courses on behavioural techniques already....imo.

However, OP, I would think they are certainly worth a look at for your uncle

I am doing the incredible years course (formerly Webster-stratton) but the ADHD and challenging behaviour version... And the ideas are solid but I do find some of it incredibly patronising!

Im only 3 weeks in but can let you know how it goes VSG if you want?

verysillyguy06

delain wrote: »

I am doing the incredible years course (formerly Webster-stratton) but the ADHD and challenging behaviour version... And the ideas are solid but I do find some of it incredibly patronising!

Im only 3 weeks in but can let you know how it goes VSG if you want?

Please do.....I have been :wall::wall::wall:

For many of my cases

Every organisation will teach other professionals but not parents