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Christmas is coming! 2007 - merged thread
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(In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now. Sorry.quote]
sorry but how mean can you get, not once have they made reference to magic, which we all know Father Christmas has in abundance. Why do some people have to see something to believe!!0 -
Does anyone know when is the best time to start making a Christmas pudding?We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment0
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Blairweech wrote: »Does anyone know when is the best time to start making a Christmas pudding?
I'm a morning person, so about 10am works well for me....
(Sorry, not sure which month is best though.....)0 -
Don't be so sure...
As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research
help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 2006)
--here is the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species
of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer
which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT
since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and
Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378
million according to the Population Reference Reference Bureau. At an
average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million
homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is
to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has
1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course,
we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will
accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of
75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at
least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds),
the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even
counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for
comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In
short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the
reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The
entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times
greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)
would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now. Sorry.
Well, we in western societies have enough 'scientific fact' to deal with on every other day of the year. I can't see it hurts to allow a little pre-modern magic and mysticism in for one day of the year does it?
Of course, once it's over we'll all go back to providing hard evidence to justify the amount our work departments spend on loo rolls! But does it harm us to let this go for one day?
Perhaps you could take this to the debating forum and those who wish to debate it will do so there, leaving us 'believers' to get on with xmas planning?0 -
Lol, I've just realised how the term 'hard evidence' in my last post could be read!!!
I meant statistical evidence, not bum checking or the like!!0 -
i tell my nieces that father christmas (not santa claus) stops time so he can deliver all the presents at midnight.
November is normally the month to make christmas puddings
xx0 -
Warning: This post may contain some on-topic content :rotfl:
Of the 38 presents I have had to buy this year (Birthdays, Xmas, Anniversary, Mothers/Fathers Day etc) I have so far completed 21... I have ideas for 7 others (just need to get my bum down to a shop in order to buy the bits) and there are 10 more I have no idea about...- Mine and OH's anniversary (3yrs on 26th Sept - NEED HELP ASAP!!!!!!)
- My OH (age: 21, birthday and Xmas)
- Male friend (age: 22, birthday and Xmas)
- OH's father (age: forty-something, birthday and Xmas)
- OH's grandfather (Xmas)
- 1YO girl cousin (Xmas)
- My Dad (Xmas)
:santa2:0 -
- Mine and OH's anniversary (3yrs on 26th Sept - NEED HELP ASAP!!!!!!)
Apparently you need to be wearing leatherIllegitimi non carborundum.0 -
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