Do you spend more on Birthdays or Christmas?

Emmarillo

It probably works out about the same for us. My girls have bigger presents for their birthdays, but more presents at Christmas plus stockings.

I don't have any religious beliefs. My parents come from different religious backgrounds, but neither believe. We were told as we grew up that what we believed was entirely our decision and we are all atheists. However I very much respect other peoples faiths (and am sometimes a little envious)and would never belittle what other people believe in. I talk to the Jehovahs Witness ladies who call occasionally but have been horrified to see neighbours literally slam the door in their faces even when they have tiny children with them. Mildred, you seem like an intelligent person, but you should respect other people more.

mildred1978

fawd1 wrote: »

Somewhat inflammatory comment, no doubt intended to be. Religious/cultural aspects aside, perhaps its because people like to have a common celebration which everyone is part of. Most people who celebrate Christmas aren't really celebrating the birth of Christ nowadays anyway, they use it as a reason to give gifts and spend time with all the people they love (plus drink a lot :rotfl:)

I view all religions in the same way. Christmas being a Christian festival (:rotfl:) meant that I commented on that. Why would I bring Islam into it?! :huh:

mildred1978

Emmarillo wrote: »

. Mildred, you seem like an intelligent person, but you should respect other people more.

Thank you.

I attended a church high school but learned about all the major religions. I respect people's right to have a faith, be it Islam, Judaism or fairies at the bottom of the garden. But I can't abide it being used as an excuse (as it frequently is) or a cover for less than moral behaviour (a few Hail Marys doesn't actually fix it!).

fawd1

mildred1978 wrote: »

I view all religions in the same way. Christmas being a Christian festival (:rotfl:) meant that I commented on that. Why would I bring Islam into it?! :huh:

Please lets not start on the pagan winter festival thing. Everyone knows, 100 times over, that the 25th of December was not actually the day Jesus was born. We also all know that it was originally a winter festival celebrated by pagans. However, NOW, it is and has been for a while, recognised and celebrated as CHRISTMAS. Which is a Christian festival. Otherwise it would be worth having a look at things that happened on your familys birthday in history. Then maybe you'd see that far more important things were celebrated on that day too. The fact is, that date is important to you because of what it represents TO YOU. Christmas, for many, represents a chance to be with their loved ones. For others it is a chance to celebrate Jesus. For you to assume that we're all idiots because we celebrate it, is both patronising, and idiotic.

And PP was right. You wouldn't dare to mock any other religious figure by calling him a nutter from 2000 years ago. Are you only happy to offend people who you might make feel bad? Or would you be happy to go into a synagogue, or Mosque, and tell them you think their religion is based on the ramblings of nutters?

I'm not religious, but it makes me sick when people think they can mock others for their faith. How would you feel if you were told that your family and support system were a joke? If what you felt for them was pathetic? Show some respect. If you don't like Christmas, or anything else, don't celebrate it, but don't mock others who do. One day they might just turn around and let you know what they think about your life.:mad:

mildred1978

fawd1 wrote: »

Please lets not start on the pagan winter festival thing. Everyone knows, 100 times over, that the 25th of December was not actually the day Jesus was born. We also all know that it was originally a winter festival celebrated by pagans. However, NOW, it is and has been for a while, recognised and celebrated as CHRISTMAS. Which is a Christian festival. Otherwise it would be worth having a look at things that happened on your familys birthday in history. Then maybe you'd see that far more important things were celebrated on that day too. The fact is, that date is important to you because of what it represents TO YOU. Christmas, for many, represents a chance to be with their loved ones. For others it is a chance to celebrate Jesus. For you to assume that we're all idiots because we celebrate it, is both patronising, and idiotic.

And PP was right. You wouldn't dare to mock any other religious figure by calling him a nutter from 2000 years ago. Are you only happy to offend people who you might make feel bad? Or would you be happy to go into a synagogue, or Mosque, and tell them you think their religion is based on the ramblings of nutters?

I'm not religious, but it makes me sick when people think they can mock others for their faith. How would you feel if you were told that your family and support system were a joke? If what you felt for them was pathetic? Show some respect. If you don't like Christmas, or anything else, don't celebrate it, but don't mock others who do. One day they might just turn around and let you know what they think about your life.:mad:

Woah, there.

We had relatives not attend our son's birthday/naming day because it was non-religious. I respected their right to feel that way.

I have good friends who are muslim yet eat bacon and drink alcohol.

I've attended weddings, christenings, funerals and other religious services out of respect for other relatives and friends. I attend but don't participate by singing hymns or saying prayers, but I show that I respect the choices of others. I'd defend anyone's right to believe whatever they like. How that belief manifests itself regularly doesn't make sense.

And yes, in my view, having read quite a lot around it over the years, I believe many religions were started by lunatics and nutters.

I've had many a conversation with JWs over their beliefs v scientific fact. I've never tried to convert them to my way of thinking, and I'm not interested in being converted to theirs.

A huge amount of blood has been spilled across history because of religious views. And I'll remain opposed to that, and faith schools, and the indoctrination of children into religion until the day I die.

fawd1

mildred1978 wrote: »

Woah, there.

We had relatives not attend our son's birthday/naming day because it was non-religious. I respected their right to feel that way.

I have good friends who are muslim yet eat bacon and drink alcohol.

I've attended weddings, christenings, funerals and other religious services out of respect for other relatives and friends. I attend but don't participate by singing hymns or saying prayers, but I show that I respect the choices of others. I'd defend anyone's right to believe whatever they like. How that belief manifests itself regularly doesn't make sense.

And yes, in my view, having read quite a lot around it over the years, I believe many religions were started by lunatics and nutters.

I've had many a conversation with JWs over their beliefs v scientific fact. I've never tried to convert them to my way of thinking, and I'm not interested in being converted to theirs.

A huge amount of blood has been spilled across history because of religious views. And I'll remain opposed to that, and faith schools, and the indoctrination of children into religion until the day I die.

I agree with everything you've just said. However, if the people who didn't come to your sons birthday because it wasn't religious had told you that you were a nutter and an idiot for celebrating it, you probably would have been a little bit offended too. People can do whatever they fancy, as long as they don't hurt others. Mocking someones desire to join in with a celebration, for whatever reason, is disrespectful and can be very hurtful to others. You must know that, you're obviously quite intelligent.

Torry_Quine

fawd1 wrote: »

I agree with everything you've just said. However, if the people who didn't come to your sons birthday because it wasn't religious had told you that you were a nutter and an idiot for celebrating it, you probably would have been a little bit offended too. People can do whatever they fancy, as long as they don't hurt others. Mocking someones desire to join in with a celebration, for whatever reason, is disrespectful and can be very hurtful to others. You must know that, you're obviously quite intelligent.

My thoughts entirely. We all have the right to our own views and beliefs but shouldn't feel the need to denigrate people who hold different opinions.

As to the original question. I buy the gift that I think is appropriate for the person at the time and don't decide based on the reason for the gift.

mildred1978

fawd1 wrote: »

I agree with everything you've just said. However, if the people who didn't come to your sons birthday because it wasn't religious had told you that you were a nutter and an idiot for celebrating it, you probably would have been a little bit offended too. People can do whatever they fancy, as long as they don't hurt others. Mocking someones desire to join in with a celebration, for whatever reason, is disrespectful and can be very hurtful to others. You must know that, you're obviously quite intelligent.

Fair enough. I apologise.

(It was OH's grandparents, who also didn't send a card welcoming him to the world because they "weren't sure of the spelling of his name" (Tomos). Any of the family members they see or speak to every day could have told them had they asked! Nowt so queer as folk!)

fawd1

Thanks. Sorry if I was a bit OTT, it's just that although I'm not religious myself, I have friends and family that are, and some of my friends have had similar things said to them which I know upset them greatly. It was always very upsetting to see because these were good, kind and intelligent people who just happened to believe in something. They deserved respect for being brave enough to state their beliefs, not derision.

fawd1

On the actual topic. I'm a total cheapskate for both. Max total spend for Christmas £200 (including everyone, nephew nieces etc), and then max £30 for birthdays. The kids get most of there stuff from charity shop or NCT nearly new sales. They're only little though, so don't know the difference! I hate having to buy at prescribed times anyway. I'd much rather be able to buy a lovely gift when I suddenly see something I think that person would love.