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Minimising private care home costs

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Comments

  • cavework
    cavework Posts: 1,992 Forumite
    I am talking about Nursing Homes here , not residential which is different.
    My Dad is subsidised and there is a review every year by Adult Social services where I am also present.
    The manager of the home is interviewed about the care my Father receives.. all records are checked on their computer.Even down to how many times he is fully bathed instead of strip washed , how many falls and this does happen even with the utmost care , personal care including hair cuts, skin viability issues , reporting proceedures in these instances,
    records are kept for everything on a daily basis
    I am asked privately if I am happy with all aspects of his care and they then talk to the Manager.
    A report is then issued with a copy to me detailing any issues (if found) that need to be looked at and followed up
  • My experience like yours was very positive. The staff were absolutely fantastic and nothing was too much trouble. The local GP came in twice a week, the chiropodist came every three months, the optician came annually and the dentist every six months. Any problems such as a fall or need for antibiotics and we were phoned right away.

    One thing that impressed is that the latest home inspection was out for all to read as well as the certificates showing staffing levels.

    This too was the case with my Mum's home, and the hairdresser came twice a week, in order to accommodate all the requests for her talents! It was expensive, but it was the very best I could find, and was also only a mile from where I was a teacher, so I could pop in both mornings and afternoons.

    When I compare this to the place a friend's Mum stayed, where the overpowering lavatorial smell hit you as you walked in, I really wonder why the OP, should he/she be in a position to be self funding, would settle for less.

    xx
  • cavework
    cavework Posts: 1,992 Forumite
    We all worry about our Family members who end up needing 24/7 care that we just cannot give.
    The decision is not just about us , it is about the welfare and safety of the people who are placed in these homes.
    With all the best will in the world there comes a point when someones physical and emotional needs cannot safely be met by their family and it is in the interest of this person to place them in the hands of people trained to deal with their disability.
    The stupid and unjustified guilt is always there , believe me but I get through each day by reminding myself that my Dad is in the best and safest enviroment for him.
    This is after 3 years, the home is now the place he knows as home .. he doesn't remember his old home and he trusts the people who look aftter him.
  • lessonlearned
    lessonlearned Posts: 13,337 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Cavework - I appreciate all you say.

    I am well aware of the differences between residential and nursing homes. My husband is in a nursing home and yes there are structures in place and yes inspections occur. On paper this home has a glowing report.:rotfl:

    However, the structures are not being adhered to. Management issue instructions and carers ignore them. I am aware this is down to poor management. Management should ensure that their instructions are being followed to the letter.

    I have been watching and waiting. I have had several meetings with the Matron to discuss these issues. Promises have been made and not fulfilled. Because my husband has communication difficulties I have tried to work closely with the staff.

    It is because I am in such close contact that I am able to observe just exactly what is going on.

    I have compiled a dosier and I am now going present my findings to both the Matron and Adult Social Services.

    I also have concerns about the care of some of the other residents too and I shall voice these concerns in my talks with Social Services.

    I can and will remove my husband from that particular home at the earliest opportunity but that will not resolve the issue for other residents.

    With regards to funding. My husband is entirely reliant on state funding at this juncture. He has been ill for so long now and we have received so little help and support that our savings are now depleted and I cannot afford top up fees.

    Back to the OP. Passing assets to family is commendable, depriving yourself of assets that could be used to pay for your care is foolish.

    If I had sufficient money I would either pay for a first class faciliity for my husband or if I had even more money I would bring him home and buy in a team of top quality people to help me care for him.

    Decent care costs money.

    Even then don't leave it to chance. Don't just assume that because your loved ones are in an expensive nursing home they are being care for to the highest standards.

    A glowing inspection report is no guarantee that standards are being met consistently. Monitor them yourself.
  • I looked at every home in the area before my mother went in, and even then I got it wrong and had to move her quickly. Mum is funded and the district nurse was amazed - she said it was one of the better ones. So good they almost killed her with lack of supervision. (she had a major fall) I couldn't even begin to list all the errors made and lack of care.

    I am beginning to fear that although this home is miles better, I'm still underwhelmed. Yes, the hairdresser visits, but I've had to ask and arrange for the dentist and optician. We're still waiting for the chiropodist and mum can barely stand now. Her nails get painted, but no-one seems to notice the dirt under and around them (she suffers from persistent diarrhoea)

    Maybe I'm too fussy, maybe it's because I visit daily and see too much, but I have to bite my tongue too often. I am coming to the conclusion that nowhere can offer the sort of care I'd like, which is really only how we care for ourselves as individuals. As many of these issues stem from carers being stretched too thinly, I can't see how complaining will help. These are serious structural issues that need addressing top down.
  • Gingerfox - not I don't think yoyu are being too fussy. She is your mum and you want her to be cared for properly.

    I agree with the bit about holding your tongue though. That's what I do. Maybe we should't, maybe we should shout from the rooftops.

    I just don't know - all I know is I'm exhausted with it all.

    Sorry I'm just feeling thoroughly exasperated and at the end my tether.
  • lessonlearned
    lessonlearned Posts: 13,337 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    edited 6 October 2012 am31 10:08AM
    Gingerfox - not I don't think you are being too fussy. She is your mum and you want her to be cared for properly.

    I agree with the bit about holding your tongue though. That's what I do. Maybe we shouldn't, maybe we should shout from the rooftops.

    I just don't know - all I know is I'm exhausted with it all.

    Sorry I'm just feeling thoroughly exasperated and at the end my tether.

    Edited - sorry I seem to have posted twice and cannot delete for some reason.
  • lessonlearned - I totally sympathise with the exhaustion bit. NHS wanted me to complain about the last home when they saw the list I produced, but by then, I'd dealt with a spiteful Discharge Nurse who tried everything to block our funding, had to cope with the woeful lack of care (and incompetence) of the hospital (and that statement is the tip of the iceberg), often sitting overnight during my mother's worst times, witness her lurch from one disaster to another and now have few personal resources left.

    I also don't blame the staff overly, they are poorly trained, often poorly chosen and managed and there aren't enough of them.

    If you want to post or pm your dossier I'd be happy to proof read it before you submit.

    I agree with your comment on glowing reports; although it's a start when you are looking, I think inspectors should rock up unannounced at key times such as early evening. Also staff and relatives should be asked to comment anonymously.
  • lessonlearned
    lessonlearned Posts: 13,337 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Thank you so much for your offer to proof read my dossier Gingerfox - that is so kind of you. I will try and get it all typed out nicely and pm you.

    I am just too tired today and my eyes are stinging. After a bad day at the nursing home last Tuesday I had a complete melt down. I cried for hours, couldn't get warm and couldn't stop shaking. I've had a few weepy sessions since so my eyes still feel sore so I will leave it for a day or two.

    I do rather feel that I have "hogged" this thread a little. I am sorry for that - I only intended to post up the rough guide and leave it at that. I'm afraid I can "talk" for England at times.:o

    However, if by sharing my experiences with you along with those of Clemmatis and Gingerfox, then perhaps my chatter may have been useful to some of you who are trying to make plans.

    My husband was just 49 when illness struck. He was fit, healthy, athletic and sports mad. I was 55 and I was the one who had a bad back and was beginning to struggle with incipient arthritis.

    We had no thought that his illness would turn out to be so serious and that it would have such devastating long term repercussions. We had no time to prepare either mentally or financially.

    It just goes to show - you never know what's round the corner.
  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,416 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    So sorry to read of your problems, LL.

    I dread to think what happens to people who don't have anyone to fight their corner.

    My father was in a very good residential home. The problem we had was before that, when he was being discharged from hospital without adequate care.

    (Broken hip,done in hospital, three storey house bathroom in semi-basement)
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
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