How do you not feel like you are working for nothing when you are Old Style?

Wornoutmom

We are a family of 5 three dds 6, 3 and 1 and me (SAHM) and dh (nurse). We just about manage to pay the bills, food etc but never have anything left really just for fun or to spend. In fact even to go on a camping holiday we ended up with a bit of extra debt.

How do you manage to entertain the kids etc and not feel like you are living life and not just scrapping by?

Any ideas welcome, I dont mind too much although I get stressed when the girls need things and stuff or if we are stuck in all weekend I feel like they have missed out, but my dh works really hard and is feeling like we miss out on alot. I suggested me working but childcare etc, having to get a second car etc would probably mean we were no better off.

Thanks x

Linda32

Hi,

I didn't want to read and run, but I'm not a Mum, so not sure I have an answer.

Its just the two of us here, myself and OH. However, we do do free things. Museums are free, although possibly a rubbish idea for your children, given their ages with the weather changing I surpose parks are out of the question as well now.

What about library reading clubs for your eldest DD.

What sort of things do the girls need that you feel they are going without? I wonder if these cheaper options which can be explored.

I agree that childcare would take up alot of your earnings so possibly not worth looking at, whilst your youngest is so young.

Not sure if I've helped at all, but I am thinking about the situation.

MILLYMOLLY

Hi didn't want to read and run but I don't often post.
I know what you mean though especially with little ones but could you not go to local parkland wrapped up and find leaves twigs etc and make a collage or something. I know it's not the same as going to theme parks etc but I'm sure your children would enjoy it.

As for working for nothing I think a lot of people feel like this, especially at the moment. I think you're probably right about not being much better off if you go to work, enjoy the time at home with your children while they are young, as long as you can manage.

Lily_The_Legend

Hiya,

I don't have any children either, so not sure how much I can help, but I'll give it a go!

I think just by posting here shows you are actually doing better than you thought, you do the best you can for your children and you want to do as much as you for them.

When I was a kid, my parents didn't have much money and I think it has helped me grow up into someone who knows the value of money and appreciates the simpler things in life (not saying other people can't, but I think growing up in that environment made me more aware of such things).

Me and DH often have days out, I often google stuff - I'll put in the date and the town or county where we live and there are always sites with lists of events on. Often there are cheap or free events to go to. We also use the National Trust vouchers that come out each year which allows you to visit one of their sites for free. (I appreciate that might not be very exciting for little ones, but it gives you a walk around somewhere different!)

The things I remember most fondly on from when I was a kid are going to the local park, going to the library once a week, going to the seaside. I still love going to the park now. There are free museums too.

Can you have friends and their children over? You can make a batch of Twinks' hobnobs (search for the recipe in the forum) quite cheaply, and once you start the ball rolling maybe they will start to invite you back too.

Also, agree with Linda about the reading club. Libraries often have other free activities too.

Anyway, hope that helps a little.

fuddle

Aw, it is difficult. It's about thinking way out of the box and it helps to have a creative mind i.e. turn nothing into something. Being stuck in together day after day can be soul destroying. I know I have got to the stage of thinking like 'what's the point of going out' and gone round and round in a cycle of misery.

Get the kids' wellies on and get out there, just wander, stick in hand. The kids will find something to get up to, they'll begin to giggle which is the perfect tonic for you.

Get yourself a good book, fill a flask and put some biscuits in your pocket, decamp at the park, let them run free and you have some 'your' time.

Keep a look out at your library for craft and activity sessions. The library in particular is my saving grace when times are tough. I go down, they pick their books and ten sit playing on the computers we've booked while I can peruse the craft books... all warm, all free.

Cook and bake together. Even the evening meal... get them making th edumplings or yorkshires. It works a treat in getting them to eat their food too.

Backing paper. A long roll of reletively inexpensive paper to be crafted in any way you see fit. Ours are into leaf printing at the moment and potatoes that have began to sprout - use them a paint stampers.

Chalks. outside, let them draw on the paths outside.

Pot up veg seeds, something handy and useful for everyone.

Youth clubs, any sessions on at the community centre or school? Ours costs just 40p for the eldest.

Try to get something to look forward to every month or so - a trip to the swimming pool/drive to the nearest park/soft play/beach - whatever is near you. Put up a HM picnic as food is where the expense comes in.

When children need something, or something needs replacing it's so worrying, I know. What we do now is have a budget every month. So a portion of DH's income is automatically put aside for the kids wear and tear. One month pj's, another pants and knickers, another schools, coats, uniforms, clothes etc.

The most important I feel is keeping you happy. Mum, if you're down, stressed or worried the whole household will fall down. You do what you need to to get through each day.

And lastly, what a lot of my good online friends have told me is this... your children won't remember what you bought them as a child, but theexperiences they shared with you

cowboymum

Hi there. We've felt like this for years so tried lots of different ways to deal with it. We are now slightly better off finacnially as I am working now part time, but our money saving ways haven't changed much! Our children are 5 and 10 years.

We currently budget for family fun days, which might mean a day out somewhere, a meal out etc. We also think of a number of cheap or free activities, so every weekend we do something. We are lucky enough to live by the sea, so over the summer, we went swimming in the sea. We are trying to get our boys walking more, so borrowed a book called kiddiwalks from the library (specifically for our area but I'm sure there's similar ones for other areas). We've also been geocaching which is lots of fun and almost free!

I agree that this gets harder as the weather gets worse, but have a think creatively about fun things to do. We have started to put together a wish list of things that we would like to do or places we want to visit.

We also plan 'date nights' (sorry all very american!). Sometimes this is costly, using a babysitter, and meal out (not v often though). Others are just a DVD and or £10 meal from M and S.

Budget also for holidays away if you can - its amazing how much a few pounds each month can add up.

Not sure if thats much help at all! Budget and plan so you've got lots of nice things to look forward to, plus lovely memories for you and the family.

Skint_yet_Again

Hi there, my DS is 17 yo now but I didnt want to read and run. I agree with the other comments, I am a single mum and did not have a lot of money when my DS was young (still dont have much ). The first ones that come to mind are

1. go to different parks - take a picnic
2. Library - free events & even just a trip to choose new books
3. museums - often free. Take a sandwich or snack (cheese straws, fruit etc ) and drink with you and avoid the shop
4. go for a walk and make it a treasure hunt - look for certain leaves (eg oak) make daisy chains etc
5. get a free argos catalogue and some old wallpaper and cut and paste. Make a story book
6. cheapo craft stuff and glitter in £land or 99p shop
7. build a tent inside or out and play camping. Cook sausages on BBQ or indoors and eat in the tent. My DS used to love this

The best things in life are free - they will remember the time you have spent together as much more precious. x

ALIBOBSY

We are a family of 6, 1 teen boy, 3 girls of various ages down to a 2 yr old. Myself who is a SAHM (and an aspiring writer-but that's another story lol) and OH who was made redundant twice in 2 years on and off benefits (after spending the first 13 years together of good salaries) and he is now in the first year of self employment so we have had to cut right back a number of times.

The younger kids are easier to deal with as they enjoy helping in the house, so dusting, washing up, baking, "helping" to make tea (or dinner if you are from the south lol).
Homemade pizzas they love to be involved in and its so much cheaper than going out. You can do takeaway night where you make homemade curry/pizza/chinese/KFC/Mcds-there are loads of recipes on here, the internet and like many on here we have the secret of takeaway from amazon-I got mine for the kindle for a couple of pounds I think.

Walks, sitting on a beach, ride out into the country etc apart from costs of a picnic (homemade so cheap) and a bit of petrol if not close to home are all good.

The kids TBH blossom when you give them attension. Even just a kickabout in the leaves all wrapped up in your wellies can be a really fun time. Come back full of laughter and all get dried off and cleaned up into PJ's for homemade hot choc and marshmallows and a bit of TV or even a dvd if you can afford it. TBH myself and OH especially just join in and act like big kids ourselves-I once decided to skip across a muddy field in wellies and went full length backwards in the mud, the kids never laughed so much rofl.

Start by budgeting using the tools and threads on here to maximise your income. Then look for free or cheap days you can have together. Change you mindset to a treat being a good, fun time together.

Ali x

Its about being canny with how you spend what income you have,

Own_My_Own

I was left with a 4 year old and 6 week old baby wih no money. So I kind of know what it feels like.

We joined the library. They sometimes have little things going on for free. You can also rent dvds cheaper than the games stores.

We used to ice rich tea biscuits, use food colouring if you have some.

Make your own decorations for Christmas.
Salt dough is cheap to make and safe for small chrildren. They won't eat it as it tastes salty.(Obviously)

http://www.parentmap.com/article/ten-homemade-christmas-ornaments?page=3


Children just want to spend time with you. Reading a book, baking,
are what they will remember, not the money spent on them.

Go and collect twigs and leaves, then glue them to make pictures.

There are so many free things you can do.

Please do not think that your children are missing out. They have loving parents, and that is really all they need.

life_unexpected_2

Wornoutmom I think most people feel that they are working for nothing at the minute. OH and I both work full-time but feel that after payday we have no spare cash. Though I have to say having two teenagers that it easier to entertain little ones with little or no money, as now they want to able to go out with friends and this always seems to cost £'s. As prior to being with my partner I was a single parent for years and always tried to make sure we did something together that was free or cheap and I have to say they never felt that they missed out as it's true that it's not the money you spend but the time you spend with them that counts.

We use to go to the local cinema on a Saturday morning as it was £1 per child and adults free and ensure I took my own snack or have a movie night at home by borrowing films from the library.

Picnic at the park or making den's in the house or garden (depending on the weather) and having picnics.

We live in the city, so I'd alway keep an eye open on the local tourist website for free open days or events.

We would go the park or beach and collect shells, leaves, sticks etc for art projects.

Bluetac pieces of lining paper to the floor and get the paint, crayons, art stuff out and get creative.

I think sometime we need to step back and think it it what the kids need/ or what we think they need/want.

lillie_put

have 3 sons now 23 20 an 18
i would make play doh flour salt water mix in to ball they alll had same amounts they would roll theres out each do diff shapes etc would bake them in very low oven when cool they would paint them
we still have some the things they made we have christmas tree
a happy face an a dog with just 1 ear now

shoe boxes i would cover for them make doors in them use bits of cardboard they made slides for thier cars to go up an down as they had made boxes into garages

collect leaves poster paint them an stencil on paper collect cones decorate for christmas
they made christmas cards
we would make bis an cakes
go for walks on the beach collect shells
hope some this helps
xx