How do you not feel like you are working for nothing when you are Old Style?

Wornoutmom

Thanks everyone reading your posts has made me realise that I do so much with the children already they probably dont feel they are missing out.

We do bake cakes, make playdough, go to the library, go to the childrens centre, paint, stick, draw read etc. And you have all given me some extra ideas and made me feel like we are not alone and that we are doing the best for our kids. Sometimes it feels like everyone is going on foreign holidays and buying flash cars but I know its not important I think you just need to be reminded sometimes!!

I have never been good at spending too long in the house but always struggle to find cheap things to do out and about. Geocaching sounds a plan we need to try.

Thanks again x:T

Pooky

One simple thing that most people don't do is to ration the TV. Make TV or DVD watching a treat, even one to be earned.

Stick a CD on (download some nursery rhyme type songs if you prefer) and get them to have a boogie. Have a game of musical statues, get them to tidy up to one track, get plain old exercise jumping around to the music.

I used to let my DDs have a DVD they could both agree on after we'd come back from a long walk/play at the park/ hour in the garden, once wellies/coats etc were put away, hands washed, snuggle on the sofa with a warm drink and some home popped corn or biscuits and watch a film.

Its parental expectations that always seem to fall short of what you think everyone else is doing with their kids, the kids themselves seem to have a ball whatever they're upto.

Linda32

Wornoutmom wrote: »

T Sometimes it feels like everyone is going on foreign holidays and buying flash cars but I know its not important I think you just need to be reminded sometimes!!

:beer: I'll tell you this, it might make you laugh....

Where I used to work (only temp and finished now - seasonal) a workmates car failed its MOT, too much to list apparently. I said in passing to OH that he had bought a new car instead of having the other one repaired.

OH who understands cars asked what it was. Me, No idea apart from it was an M reg (new car :rotfl: ) 1995 google tells me and its blue.

If we had won the lottery last night the very last thing we would buy (and we wouldn't ever) would be a foreign holiday or a new car.

* I didn't buy a ticket.

ragz_2

Regarding camping holidays, be sure to shop around for your campsite. I looked at a lot and we (family of 5) could camp for anything from £10 to £35+ per night. So that's a difference of £70 for a week against £230+....

Boot sales - we took ours to the boot fair today, it made a day out, we went after lunch so no need to buy burgers etc and I find it easy to say no to ice creams etc and the children are used to that now!

We bought a DVD (£1) for our next film night (homemade popcorn, pjs on the sofa).

Kids bought a toy each (10p-50p), DS used his pocket money to buy a bigger toy, I picked up a few bits, we spent less than £10.

Next week I am buying the tickets for our Christmas train ride/meeting santa. Buying it now will mean it's not an extra expense in December along with everything else (well, actually I do most of it in advance, but still...) and we are going with a small local railway (£44) rather than the flashy big one we see all the adverts for (£85). OK it's not as fancy but the children have never been to the fancy one so they don't know that and the Father Christmas they have at the local one is actually the real one (he's that good!) and you get a lot more time, unlimited rides etc...
I will take flasks of drinks, treats etc
Putting a little money away in a jar each week for a treat like this means that come December you have a 'free' day out.

Airgead - I have done my DS's parties at home and I am pleased to say I am not the only mum at our school who does this (I was the first in our reception year though, but I got only positive feedback from the Mums, I think many secretly wished they did that), we invite just 4-5 other children and explain to them that we can't have everyone which they have been fine with. Doing it at home means they really do get to be the centre of it all, rather than just an excuse for the kids to go to the soft play centre! CHildren love proper parties and I enjoy doing it. It makes me feel rather smug lol, all the money I am saving and the time I am giving the children rather than just spending tons of money...

The last one I did for Ds1 (6th birthday) was a pizza party. I made pizza sauce, used muffins cut in half for the bases, cut up a lod of toppings and gave a table full of 5/6 year olds a fab time decorating their own pizzas, they thought it was amazing, and then I cooked them and that was their party food (with a few biscuits etc) as well as their thing to take home (I don't really do party bags, like to think outside the box on that one) along with the prizes from the games (mostly sweets, well ti is a party!).
I made a cake that looked alarmingly like a pizza and presented it in a pizza box I got from the kebab shop (lovely men). Cost barely anything to do the whole lot and they all loved it plus it wasn't even that much work for me.

airgead

agz, thanks for that! My daughter loves to cook so the pizza idea is a winner, and I like that they can take someting home that isn't the same old party bag.
Maybe there's a thread on here I can check out re more childrens party ideas?

Also, Wornoutmum, there's some great "counting your blessings" type threads here, which I love to read through when I'm struggling.
EDIT here's one https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2039611

meritaten

You are right OP in that foriegn holidays and flash cars are not important. Yes, its hard when you are stretching the pennies to screaming point, its hard when you can't afford the birthday party 'entertainer' or the bouncy castle. BUT - tbh it isnt the flash holidays or the entertainer the kids remember from thier childhood! You give them something that money cannot buy - your time!
my grandkids love coming here - money is tight and I dont spoil them with sweeties and pressies except on birthdays, christmas etc. I spend time with them - we craft and we have fun and I LISTEN to them. This is what they remember and you are giving them a good foundation for the future.
They will have fond memories of your outings and cooking sessions and craft days. and as the ad says 'Some things are Priceless'!

eco

I don't have kids either, but have a dog and we walk a lot round our area, and the one thing I notice is the parents out walking with there kids, and to be honest it's not very often we see any, but last week an asian guy had his 3 young children out collecting conkers, I still love looking for conkers and i'm 39, and they all seemed to be enjoying themselves he was trying to explain about leaves on trees all been different, but the kids were ignoring him cos they were too busy looking for a good conker.
We also see a young mum with 3 kids who takes her kids to the school field for a picnic, the kids seem really happy running about and she gets to sit down and have a rest.
We also have a old railway track that's been tarmacked and loads of family's use that either walking or cycling, do you have anything similar?

skipsmum

My kids are older now and we have more money, we went abroad on holiday for the first time this year.

the kids all said it wasn't their favourite holiday, their favourite was the year we bought a very ancient van and a big ancient tent and took all the kids, fostered and related, camping in a field for two weeks. We took two bikes and DH taught all the kids to ride them.
DH had to work the second week, so left early and came back in the evenings, and I remember being stressed about having so many kids on my own. They all helped each other and I had a fairly relaxing week!

We home educated our kids and money was very tight on one income (+ fostering allowance that went absolutely nowhere) but they remember their childhoods as being great fun. We did a lot of walking, used the library every week for books and videos, learnt languages, met other families at the park or each others houses, camped in the garden, painted on everything, made puppets and plays, and so on.

Its not just that my kids were used to this way of living, all our foster kids have enjoyed the sort of back to basics life we had then.

DH, DS and I ate at Dobbies garden centre today because we were there and could afford to, and we all said afterwards it was a total waste of money and we should have just bought some french stick and walked over to the park.

skipsmum

Having a quick think about getting out of the house:

On a walk, I would always take a couple of nappy sacks or freezer bags so the kids could fill them with "treasures". This added a home hour activity sticking/painting on stones/leaf rubbing etc.

We walked down to the cathederal quite a lot and took a roll of paper to do brass rubbings. We all had our favourite one. We also did paper rubbings of just about anything: bricks, numbers, whatever.

With the older ones we would draw/photograph the fronts of shops and then try and model them at home out of clay or card or lego.

One of our best: we got a measuring wheel from someone and went everywhere measuring the distance. I got weeks worth of mileage out of that one!

Stamps were cheaper then, but I'd get the kids to all draw a picture to send to our friend in Wales and we would walk to the main post office to buy a stamp and post it.

I always had a grab bag with bottled water and juice in it. Kids get thirsty and are less likely to nag about shops and cafes if you can just sit on a bench and whip a bottle out.

Indoors, for the older ones, we made countless stop motion videos. We put on "plays in a day" to show DH when he got home. They involved script writing, making puppets/costumes/scenery (all out of tat), performing, lighting (torches) and making a program and ticket for DH.

We also had a lot of lego competitions. Tallest house, widest cow, ship with the most masts etc.

*nostalgia smiley*

Chipps

Hi

I agree with the suggestions others have made here, especially about your children valuing the time you spend with them far more than the amount of money you spend.
We have 3 children (now grown up) & still live on a fairly tight budget, but all 3 remember the camping holidays we had. We did a lot of research & found campsites that were not too expensive (usually no clubhouse etc) My priorities were clean loos, hot showers etc - & when our favourite site added a tumble drier that was a real bonus with wet clothes to dry (I'm easily pleased!) That site was on a farm, & the kids loved going to the barn to see the baby calves, and there were a lot of children who all got together to play games.

I can't remember who it was above, who suggested rationing TV etc. Don't forget the value of having treats. If children get (for example) a toy or sweets every time they demand one when out shopping, they don't really value or enjoy them. But if they get something more rarely, as a treat, it is something much more precious. I don't know if I explained that very well, but hope it makes sense.

Here is a link for some free printable craft ideas too:

http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/