Is my 5yr old daughter being bullied at school?

animalhouse

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. What a horrible situation for her (and you). I feel that this is bullying, even though they are so young and may not understand what they're doing.

Get the school involved. Write to the head, saying what you have seen and the effect on your daughter, as well as talking to the teacher. I'd suggest that unless you feel confident of the child's parents, don't approach them but let the school do it if need be.

If the school aren't interested then it may be worth changing schools.

Two years ago when DS was 9, he went through hell with bullying. The head teacher told us that it was difficult as DS was so emotional. We moved schools and his progress was amazing. His new teacher told us that scared and unhappy children can't learn as they're concentrating on the next break time and what might happen.

Truly, it's worth getting the school involved quickly.

animalhouse

Jojo, you've made a good point, although I do think that this is bullying. I agree with you that the teacher should be made aware of what's happening.

By the way, I love your signature. I also love sausages.

gravitytolls

daska wrote: »

The girls school I went to must have been unique then. IME girls are sneaky and cruel, boys are generally far more upfront. (I'm a girl)

asandwhen - I would have a word with the teacher. They can approach it by doing a social story with the class. No naming, no blaming, just educating the whole class about the effects of it, then they can keep an eye on it and see if it continues.

I agree, lads fall out, have a punch up (or the sporting equivalent) and get over it, girls can be very very spiteful.

I agre that you should speak to the teacher. Last year my 6 yr old DD asked me 'mummy, why don't I get invited to parties any more?' Her friend had isolated her, told others not to play with her, then told her if she played with others, she (the girl) wouldn't play with her, and she'd tell everyone else not to, and she'd have nobody to play with. I wept. She also had deept scratch marks on her arm, which the girl made because she was 'angry'. She told DD to tell no one, but her brother noticed them and she told him, whispering 'don't tell mummy.'

If she was older and talking about her boyfriend........

Incidentally, this girl pulled th wings off a ladybird then gave it to a wasp to watch it eat it. she removes legs from bugs etc. psycho in the making.

Don't leave it, nip it in the bud. Invite nice girls to tea, to the cinema, the park, a picnic etc. Join rainbows or dance classes where the popular girl isn't, but he nice girls are. Call your rainbow group, if there's more than one sesion, name the girls who make her miserable, so if any of them attend, your DD can be placed in a different group. Just explain th esituation, they'll be very helpful.

Homeagain

AlisonHarrison wrote: »

Then that is bullying

Not bullying at all. Bullying is an overused expression for childrens' normal behaviour. Little (and big) girls are known for this type of thing. I wouldn't worry too much, keep an eye out but you will find that the whole situation will probably change .... just be supportive and understanding. It will be ok.

FatVonD

Isolation is absolutely bullying.

I had exactly the same thing with my son, he made a really good friend in reception class when the class was split into two halves according to age. DS would be invited to tea there (and the other boy to ours if I wasn't working), the other boy's grandma exclaimed on meeting my son 'so you're sproglet, Stefan is always talking about you, do you want to come to tea at our house'. Then the two halves of the class were joined together and and another boy, Stevie, (very dominant, 2 older brothers so knew the ropes) decided he wanted Stefan to be *his* friend so excluded sproglet from every game in the playground.

I think it's important you tell the teacher, children that age think every adult in the school is a teacher and, even if they've mentioned it to a playground supervisor (or the playground supervisor notices) they may well be untrained and in no position to deal with it properly (or even particularly care.)

Don't be fobbed off with the 'speaking to the class as a whole about bullying' for too long (as I did) because the damage may well be done by then, insist the teacher talks to the kid and their parents.