Surnames for children

Gemmzie

Sorry won't let me delete

sassyblue

It's a bit strange but it's nobodys business except the couple concerned, is Mr.Skywalker happy with his child having his wifes surname and not his? If so, all's fine. James should be asked if he wants to continue being a Woods or change his to Smith or Skywalker?

Heck, it's a bit complicated isn't it? Not sure l'd want my two children having two different surnames to my own though.

peachyprice

That doesn't make sense.

James Woods would still be left out because he'll be the only Woods, infact he may feel even more left out because the baby has his mother's name and he doesn't.

I could understand it a little more if she wanted both children to have the same name, but once she's married neither of them will have the same name as her. What a peculiar thing to do.

peachyprice

sassyblue wrote: »

It's a bit strange but it's nobodys business except the couple concerned, tbh though l'd be surprised if Mr.Skywalker would be fine with his child having his former partners surname..... And James should be asked if he wants to continue being a Smith or change his to Skywalker.

It isn't her former partners surname though, that would be Woods. Smith would be her maiden name.

sassyblue

peachyprice wrote: »

It isn't her former partners surname though, that would be Woods. Smith would be her maiden name.

Thanks, l edited it. Confusing isn't it?

azzabazza

I can't make sense of this. There will be a Master Woods a Miss Smith and a Mr and Mrs Skywalker. This to me will not resolve the situation for Master Woods. I would have thought Mr, Mrs and Miss Skywalker and Master Woods the most straightforward way ahead. Master Woods could have his named changed to Skywalker but only if his natural father was in agreement.

karent_2

Not sure what the right answer is, but here is my experience.

I had 2 children by my first marriage. Their father had nothing to do with them(his choice not mine). When I remarried I changed my name and theirs to that of my new husband, and my 3rd child obviously took the same name. I am glad we all have the same name, if nothing else because it looks better!

My sister has 2 kids, both with their Dads' surnames, and she still has her maiden name. She wishes she had given them her name, but neither Dad will give her permission to change them, and she doesnt want to fall out with them because they are both decent Dads.

Changing kids surname was only possible cos I had their father's permission(took some persuasion!), otherwise I was prepared to go to court.

jamesmorgan

This type of scenario is increasingly common, and probably one of the reasons why an increasing number of women retain their maiden name after marriage and use this when naming their children.

Gemmzie

Jane & Mike are happy for James to keep his name the same or change it when they eventually marry as he'll be around 10/11 - with the permission of his father, of course.

Mike just wants to keep Jane happy but I had the same thought that little James will feel more left out as his new baby sister will be mum's daughter but he is his dad's son (there's very little contact).

Thanks for your thoughts!

quantumleap

I don't think this is complicated at all to be honest and its not about what looks good or what doesn't. The first child is named after his father and so should the second child - yes they will have different surnames but thus is life. I am one of those first children whose brother has a different surname. Yes it can raise questions (particularly now we are both fathers ourselves) but I, we, have never felt any shame. It is the way it is. I was given the opportunity to change my name when I was old enough to understand the situation and chose not too. We are all very comfortable.

anibell

I'm recently married and have a 13 year old child from a previous relationship. He has my maiden name as his surname and I have changed my surname to my husband's. I'm pregnant atm and baby will have husband's and my surname.

All of us talked about change of surname well before the wedding and my son wanted to keep his surname. It's his name and we all respect that. He loves my husband who he refers to as his dad very much but felt he would be losing his identity. If he wants to change it later on (or not) he can.

I think having more than one surname in a family is the norm now especially with step families, co-habiting couples etc and isn't anything to be bothered about really.