Putting My Life Into Order

catandy

better shift with the software / co front last night - same person using the system and made 40£ in about 2 hours last night - tonight theres 2 people online so want to do double that if possible.

rest of the week is just head down at work and get it done, DS1 has a wrestling match at the weekend so hes earning there which I've told him is going to have to be his money ie dont come to me for more to pay for your nights out and so on, hes starting to ask more and more so I'm cutting it back a bit. DS2 has an appraisal at work coming up and the chance of his hourly rate going up by 20p per hour so he hopes that works out so hes got a bit of money left in his pocket at the end of the month

rest of the week should all be NSD for me as got everything I need to get, got to fone my mom as still not made it over there to see her... got to get this organised some time now this is getting to be silly

catandy

well I go someway today to finding out if my contract with this ongoing project is going to be extended past the initial trial period - I hope so for obvious reasons but I've already prepared myself for the worst (i'm struggling putting sales leads in this week which is not good when thats what I'm being paid to do...)

we got a demand from the software developer yesterday to pay him (request has come in 2 weeks early and we are waiting on receiving a payment to us so we can pay him). So ex / business partner just said I should stop spending money and use my funds to pay off the developer, ok and what does that entail exactlly.. turning the heating off, not giving my kids any money at all not for bus fairs to and from college or lunch money, no one goes anywhere and all lights in the flat are turned off by 11pm - effectively a curfew. Ok so what is ex going to do to help pay off this bill - well he's got £300 he can afford to throw into the pot (bill is around 2900, company account has 1000 of it in right now and remainder will hit the account week after next), so basically I need to find 1600 out of my money... or we just tell the developer he will get paid as arranged as per our agreement. its just a bit of an eye opener to me all the time with the ex, he thinks it is totally ok for my kids to go without and effectively 'live on rations' but it was only 6 weeks ago we were bailing his grown up kids out cos they had overspent and were in trouble financially.

Its things like this that make me realise that me and my kids life will be so much better once he has moved out ( 10 weeks and counting) and how it is probably better if I stand down as a company director and walk away from everything. Ok I will have wasted 3+ years and umpteen thousands of £ on setting up this company and getting the software developed and working properly but I think maybe for my sanity and for a peaceful life I need to just walk away from it. Do I ever expect the company to pay me back my investment, I would like to be charitable and say yes of course but I think any money the company does make will be spent in double quick time... My kids were supposed to be shareholders in the company so by doing this I'm making the decision for them to walk away from a possible income so I need to speak with them about it, all I know is whilst I am tied to the ex via the business there will always be a hold over me and there is always going to be the chance that my income has a second pull over it - keeping the business going or paying for ... or whatever it turns out to be. and I am more than ready to get my life back and return to normality and have control over what I do and what I spend my money on myself.

RosiePuddingPaws

Long time lurker here.

Rather than walking away from the company, is there some way of easing your ex out? It seems to me that you are permanently putting money in so, in theory, your "share" of the company should be much greater.

You could suggest that for writing off all the money that has been "borrowed" by his kids, then you will take a larger proportion of the company shares. Also, for all the money that you (alone) have used to pay for the development etc, then, again, you will take a larger share rather than expecting the company to pay you back. Over time you could then ease him out altogether and retire to Bermuda and sip cocktails on the beach!

Oh, and you should be charging him rent for lodging with you while he slowly decides to get his life sorted. Why can't he go stay with his daughter now while he waits for his new accommodation to be sorted? It is really hard living with an ex for any length of time.

RPP

catandy

its actually horrible living in the same place as someone i dont even like as a person anymore - I find myself making excuses to stay out of my own home and my kids do the same..

roll on July - for our lives to move on a bit instead of being stuck in no mans land like they are now

catandy

Ex and I finally sat down and spoke about the business/ living in each others pockets/ reliance or depandance issues and the whole kit and caboodle (which is probably about 10 years overdue) but proved to be a big weight lifting off my shoulders.

Whether our business carries on or not is absolutely touch and go - with having to pay back the tranche of software development earlier than planned, family loan 4 weeks after that was making it really tight, now we've been hit with a £1000 refund to a customer which needs to be found as well in the next 4 weeks. The biggest contract we have are so laid back its untrue and they just dont have any hustle going on at all to use the system fully and in turn make a decent income for them and us. To find new customers will take us time and money (I dont have either),,, We can pay for the final development work, we can pay to keep the company afloat with regards to running costs for another month maybe 2 at a push and after that it depends on the company paying its own way. If its not doing that it dies - neither of us can fight any more or have anything else left to give.

From a personal point of view if it does close down then I give up any thoughts of ever doing my own thing again - I give up freelancing and the rollercoaster that gives, find an employed job where I go in do my job as I am meant to and pick up a guaranteed wage at the end of the month. And slowly I pay back what I owe and never touch credit again in my life. I also have the best possible life I can have with my kids whilst they still want to live at home with me - before I know it they are going to be wanting to fly the nest so I want to savour what I have left with them.

Ex admitted to me that he does rely on me for virtually everything and has done ever since he had his heart attack almost 10 years ago. I guess part of this is down to me, when he got ill I kind of took over, organising everything, being responsible for everything and he fell into a habit of letting me do it all. Fast forward to the present and he hasnt paid a bill for years, doesnt have a clue how much things cost, doesnt even do his own clothes shopping (he tells me what he wants and I get it).

Its the same with when he lost his job, I gave him a job working for my company which I was running back then so he didnt have to go and look for a job (he has very little in way of formal education or skills, a history of illness and his age against him) as he would struggle to get anything. Recession hit and it took my business down with it - I regrouped and carried on freelancing to keep afloat, ex has spent 2.5 years setting up our current company and fine tuning the software (and sitting on his hands a lot of the time as well which I allowed to happen for a quiet life).

So moving forward what is going to happen? Dont know for certain but we are both in agreement that something has got to give. Ex is finally going to open a bank account this week (currently all his payments go thru my account or his basic PO account). He is due to move out 10 weeks this weekend just gone and currently couldnt even pay a bill on his new place due to not having an account he can do DD or SO from.

Me I need to find out if the contract I am working on is going to be extended, Ive got 2 weeks left of the trial period and totally messed up last week due to not being able to think straight or concentrate on anything with all these money worries taking over my every waking moment. If it is not likely to be extended I need to start looking for a job / considering signing on till I find something. and if I'm being given the 2 weeks to prove myself till they make a decision Ive got to get my head down and make it work!

so ive got my fingers and everything else crossed for when i find out if i still have a contract to work to tomorrow morning and I'm resigned to the fact that we will know if we have a viable business or not within the next 2 months maximum. no point worrying over what might happen anymore.

and what i do with regards to paying back my debts and the order it happens in depends on if I keep this contract - if I keep it then I try and keep the loan and overdraft out of my dmp as I have managed to do so to date. If I lose the contract its all got to go in and my DFD goes to about 12 years from now .... something to look forward to uh?

catandy

well I have got exactly 7 hours to produce some results and keep my job otherwise I'm jobless again. Seems like I'm never going to be clear of these debts.

which ive just done - got my lead and get to keep my job for another day - some sort of security uh?

catandy

Well I'm keeping my job for as long as I can keep producing results so just keep on doing what I'm being paid to do.

I've also decided that I cant juggle anymore to keep some debts out of my DMP and its not really fair on the companies I have put into it that I was thinking of treating some companies differently so all my debts are now going into my DMP, I have another bank account open and ready to use that is totally 'clean', the company bank account is in the process of being moved so that has no ties to my debtors either (just incase they decided to use the offsetting rule and raid that account).

I've got all my letters due to be sent out to the companies I owe in the by Friday and need to move all my DD and SO over to my new account. From all the numbers pumped into the calculators I have enough disposable income to pay £130 per month to my creditors meaning that my DFD is about 182 months away which I make to be 15 years or so... so I've got some figures to beat now. At those rates it looks like I would be better off going bankrupt or taking out an IVA but I dont want to do either. Mind you if these companies keep on adding interest I may change my way of thinking

for now the plan is

get new bank account set up
get business bank account changed over
send out all letters to companies with offers of payment
make payments
wait for the deluge of harrasment asking me to up my offers to them.

catandy

well from the list of yesterday my new bank account is up and running, payments in have been amended accordingly ive still got to sort out all the DD and SO.

business bank account will be finalised today so thats in hand

letters are ready to go so organised there as well

payments made for this month - got next months revised payments to look forward to

dont know how to ask my contract if I am going to be kept on for this project and keep it ongoing - I'm not producing results so I'm on the backfoot here... this is a work in progress.

catandy

so now the status of my to do list is

my new bank account set up and all but 2 DD moved across

buisness bank account finalised today with sort code/ account number etc

letters all ready to be posted

ready to make payments next month (when its next month...)

...................................................................................

Biggest contract we have with the software have done 1k worth of sales this week so that is picking up really well they also asked yesterday to open a second contract with us to move into a different marketplace which is welcome news but I just hope they are a bit quicker at getting things done with this one!

AND THE OTHER BIG NEWS FOR THE DAY IS IVE LOST MY LONG TERM PROJECT BUT BEEN PUT ON THE ONE I WAS DOING LAST YEAR INSTEAD... WELL IM HAPPIER COS AT LEAST I KNOW I CAN DO THAT ONE!!

catandy

list is getting shorter

personal account fully completed
business account fully completed
business expenses paid for next month
letters ready to go the PO to be sent recorded delivery

..............................................................................

• status of payments - business running costs paid next month
• remainder of development work owing - 1133 (due to be paid 15th May)
• DD and SO set up and running costs of home accounted for
• 400 of loan money to company set aside - 3000 owing and was due to be paid by end of may - I'm speaking to them this weekend with a view to getting it set back by a month or so. If the business carries on at the current rate of production then by the end of May we should have 2000 of the 3000 as all the running costs have been prepaid. so will be paid in its entirety by mid june ie 2 weeks late.

other stuff that needs to be factored in - isnt there always something that comes up?

son wants to go to a musical festival in August for his 18th and to celebrate the end of his exams. I've said yes now I need to find the money - thats his birthday and xmas present and he gets no spending money from now till it either.