son fell in swimming pool and is now petrified!

cord123

Hello all!

I am after some advice, my son (just turned 3) fell into my MIL swimming pool a few weeks ago. She made out that it wasnt very bad and she was right there and he didnt go under water. Obv still scary but we have since found out she has completely played this down and he did infact go under water and my step daughter had to get him out cause the MIL was in the kitchen cooking.


He hadnt really mentioned it but then said to my mum that he went 'down, down down and came up and went cough cough and my head was all fussy'. This is so heartnreaking to hear cause he used to be so confident in the water and didnt care about getting splashed in the face etc.


I manged to get him into swimming lessons which he started on friday and he screamed the whole time, I had to literally hold myself back from getting him out the pool. We took him yesterday and he would sit on the edge, just, and put his toes in. Then I managed to get him to sit on my lap and gradually lowered myself into the water he did scream and then he realised that he could touch the floor he was fine... even letting me pull him round while he kicked his feet, jumping in from the edge etc.


When we got out I said to him are you excited about swimming your teacher will be so proud of you etc etc, but he is still talking about going down, down, down... my husband has suggested that we say that didnt happen and that he dreamt it... I just hope that he gets on ok with swimming this week. Also, we go on holiday next week so want him to have fun there so if anyone has tips then please share!!


And dont worry we did go mad at his Mum!!!!

balletshoes

I think you're tackling it the right way by taking him to the pool yourself, and carrying on with the swimming lessons .

Let him talk about it, its not harming anyone, and definitely don't suggest to him it was a dream - he's not stupid, he knows it happened.

sassyblue

cord....even l am :mad: at your MIL !

I think you're doing the right thing and handled him going back in the water the right way but l would disgree with your husband and don't tell him he dreamt going down, down... balletshoes is right he's not daft and that may unsettle him. Just reassure him that it shouldn't happen again because the swimming lessons are to help him get his confidence back with water.

When you go away next week, l'd take him to the shops just before he goes to the pool to buy some inflatables or toys to play with in the water.

Still angry with your MIL! fancy lying about it...

I_wanna_live_for_free

Oh bless him, I've gone cold myself at the thought. Let him talk about it and continue taking him to the pool so he can have fun in the water. You're doing the right thing. Don't deny it happened, he knows it did.

Get some water toys or a woggle/kickboard so he can play on holiday too. Have a good time!

cr1mson

Even without an experience like that my son was scared of the water. I found the best thing for him was 1 to 1 lessons (expensive though). Although felt sorry for his teacher as he used to cling on so tight to her he left marks.

C

peachyprice

I would suggest taking him to the pool by yourself when it's quite in addition to when the lessons are taking place, it can be pretty noisy at lesson time and quite distressing for a nervous child.

As you're already doing, take him into the water with you, hugging him tight so he feels safe, really going back to the way you would instroduce a baby to the pool again.

Oh, and I think if your mother can't be trusted to stay by the pool when young children are about your OH should insist she gets the bloomin thing fenced off.

Don't tell the poor mite it didn't happen, that will do untold psychological damage, he's 3, he's old enough to know the difference between what's real and what's a dream. Your OH is as bad as his mother for suggesting that you lie to him.

MummyOfTwo

i felt really mad for you reading that. nothing worse than thinking your child went through a horrible experience and you werent there - then to be lied to over it. not on at all.

definitely keep going to the pool, let your little fella dictate the pace. maybe have a look together for cool swimming aids/floatation devices and let him pick something he likes. ive noticed a few of the kids at our local pool are using a device that looks like a sharks fin! its very cool and is also a proper floatation device. maybe if hes busy showing off a new pool accessory he will forget his fear a little and allow his confidence to return.

browneyedbazzi

I agree with the other posters above - you are doing the right thing in taking him to the pool and getting him re-adjusted to the water in a safe and controlled way. I too wouldn't suggest to him that he dreamed the incident as I think that would do a lot more damage than good! Kids do know the difference between a real memory and a dream and lying to him as your OH suggest may damage his trust in you.

At his age I'm sure it's difficult to explain some things to him but I'd try to explain that learning to swim is good because if anything happens again he'll be safer because he can swim.

Kids are really resilient...when I was young I very nearly drowned twice (once in a busy wave pool when someone accidentally hit me in the head and I blacked out and ended up underfoot, and once in a river when I got caught in a nasty current) but I got back into the water, rebuilt confidence and I still love to swim!

couponqueen123

aww poor boy you sound to have this one under control best thing is defo to get them in the water again i went to my nanas friends house one in winter and she told us to go play out side so i did and didnt relise (i was only 5 )that there was a cover over the pool and i ran on it and i went under the water and the cover covered me i was petrified i was lucky my nana was coming to look for me and she jumped in to get me but the next week i was having swimming lesson and i was ok eventually

cord123

It is just so annoying because he was so confident in the water.... we have bought water pistols etc to get him used to havign water in his face... The pool is fenced off... her defence was that he was fully dressed so should have known not to go near it!! Beggers belief!


He is very proud of himself today and when I dropped him to my mums house it was the first thing he told her about so I am thinking if I take him Wed evenign then his swimming lesson is friday it wont be too long for him to start getting nervous again...


The funny thing was he screamed the whole lesson, clung to the teacher like a limpet and then came running out saying he loved it and he was really brave so I know he really wants to do it. Luckily I love the water so love going to the pool...


He is going 'swimming shopping' with my mum today and we got him a spiderman towel with his name on for swimming lessons... we are trying to focus on all the positives like how many new friends etc he will make!


He did ask if he was really brave this week could we go for a costa... my boy will do anything for a babycuinno! hahaha!

pulliptears

From another POV, could it be possible MIL was downplaying the event so as not to make a big deal of it in front of the boy. If the child thinks something is an issue it tends to become one.

Not excusing the fact that she wasn't watching him obviously, but I do find in situations like this its a lot better to pick them up, dust them down and carry on.