Opinions on changing a child's name....

tenmah

skivenov wrote: »

Is the kid old enough to make a decision themselves?

marisco wrote: »

Depending on the age of the child has anyone asked him/her what name they would like to be known by, considering the new family dynamic? Surely the thoughts and feelings of the child itself are paramount to what either of the parents would prefer to happen.

OP has advised childs age

Erinnire

Leave it as it is, my DD1 has my surname as her Dad wasn't around when it came to registering the birth, had he have been she would of had his surname and I would leave it at that, it's part of her heritage. No matter how much of a big fat douche he is.

My Mum changed my name via deed poll when I was younger without asking me, because she was getting married to step-dad and wanted us to all be the same! My dad only agreed as he thought she would stop him seeing me. Which is very sad and if it were up to me I would of kept my Dads surname despite how little a part of my life he was. Plus my surname is now Smith which is really boring

DD2 has her fathers surname (Smith) it just happens to be mine as well... We are just that common! If we were ever to have gotten married the invites would look really odd.

maman

I know OP asked what would you do (so fair enough giving an opinion)but the point being missed here is she doesn't have a choice. Both parents have to agree and as this child's father doesn't agree to his child being renamed then that's it. End of. (S)he remains child Smith.

chipmunk

lilymay1 wrote: »

Just after some opinions on this...

Mum has a child from a previous relationship with the surname 'Smith'. She has since married a new bloke with the surname 'Jones' and now uses this. He already has 1 child, also with the surname 'Jones' and they have a new baby due in October who will also have the surname 'Jones'.

Mum wants to add 'Jones' onto her child's name thus making it 'Smith-Jones' however this child's biological dad has said he won't allow the name change.

Mum has it in her head that a judge would rule in her favour but would be expecting legal aid to pay for it. I have no idea how this works...would a solicitor even entertain that idea?

Do you think mum is right to want to double-barrel her daughters name, or do you agree with Dad?

I should probably add, Dad is very involved with the child although the child lives with mum.

Don't know where the mother gets that idea from. Courts generally will not entertain changing a child's name unless under extreme circumstances. Even when children are adopted nowadays, the recommendation is that the child keeps their birth name, even very young children. A 'good' solicitor would advise the mother that it is highly unlikely she will win. If the father's name is on the birth certificate that means he has parental responsbility and she cannot change the child's name without his consent.

As for getting Legal Help to take the matter court, that's not up to the solicitor, it's the decision of the Legal Services Commission as to whether they would get funding. Even if she was financially eligible, the LSC also assess on the merits of the case and if they don't think it's warrants spending taxpayers money on the case, they won't grant Legal Help. And rightfully so ! So many people think they have a 'right' to Legal Help regardless. They don't.

She shouldn't be trying to change the child's name either in my opinion. The poor little soul must be confused as it is !

bunnykins

I'll always remember the day I found out my surname had been changed............It was my first day at senior school aged 11 3/4 and after the register had been called I stuck my hand up to say my name hadn't been called out - it was only after the teacher noticed an absentee with my christian name that the penny dropped:(

On the other hand DS1 had his fathers surname and badgered and pleaded to have his name changed when he was aged 13 as I had remarried and had DS2 - he said he felt different and wanted to "belong" - suffice to say it was done pronto and as a family we have never looked back (at this point he hadn't seen his father in 5 years and said father has since died (without contact with DS1))

Guess what I'm trying to say is that different circumstances require different actions but from what I've read from OP I would not change the childs name in the scenario given.

bunnykins

Thegirl

lilymay1 wrote: »

Do you think mum is right to want to double-barrel her daughters name, or do you agree with Dad?

Personally, I would have double-barrelled my own name when I married, to Smith-Jones, that way connecting to my existing child's surname and my new husband's. I would leave my child's name as Smith.
It would be different if Dad was not involved, but since he is, I think it's a pretty ofensive suggestion and almost like trying to write him out of history.

lilymay1

Thegirl wrote: »

Personally, I would have double-barrelled my own name when I married, to Smith-Jones, that way connecting to my existing child's surname and my new husband's. I would leave my child's name as Smith.
It would be different if Dad was not involved, but since he is, I think it's a pretty ofensive suggestion and almost like trying to write him out of history.

The mother has never shared her child's surname - she was never married to the the child's father.

NewKittenHelp

chipmunk wrote: »

Don't know where the mother gets that idea from. Courts generally will not entertain changing a child's name unless under extreme circumstances. Even when children are adopted nowadays, the recommendation is that the child keeps their birth name, even very young children. A 'good' solicitor would advise the mother that it is highly unlikely she will win. If the father's name is on the birth certificate that means he has parental responsbility and she cannot change the child's name without his consent.

Adopted children take the surname of their adoptive parents, don't they?

Thegirl

lilymay1 wrote: »

The mother has never shared her child's surname - she was never married to the the child's father.

In that case if the child has never shared her surname so why the necessity now? He has a good relationship with his Dad, why would you want to change his surname from his father's to his step father's?

lilymay1

Thegirl wrote: »

In that case if the child has never shared her surname so why the necessity now? He has a good relationship with his Dad, why would you want to change his surname from his father's to his step father's?

I completely agree.

As I said, the mother isn't the sharpest tool in the box. Thinks the world owes her something.