Opinions on changing a child's name....

pinkclouds

daisiegg wrote: »

Why would it be 'Mrs Smith'? Why would the mother keep her first husband's surname?

As stated, it's what I would have considered. It's also what my MIL did. She's already Mrs Smith and has a child called Smith. It would be more important to me to share a name with my child than my husband. That's also why I suggested Baby Smith Jones - if she was retaining the name Smith. Presumably Mrs Smith likes the name Smith or she wouldn't have used it. I know women who are Mrs Maiden-Name because they don't like husband's surname. (Their kids have same surname as the fathers though.)

lilymay1

Thanks to everyone who has replied.

I agree with everything you have all said. 'Mum' is a bit of a sour person and can't for the life of her understand why the child's dad has said no. She has been in the current relationship about 2 years (she's 22). Married for 12 months.

It's not my place to comment to her, I just wanted to know what everyone else thought. It seems we all agree.

Oh, and the child in question is 3.

Seanymph

well that makes it all worse then.

I agree with you - she should be promoting the dad's involvement, not trying to paint him out.

GobbledyGook

It always amazes me when people seem happy to change their child's name for their own selfish reasons.

It's one thing when an older child who considers their step-father as Dad wants to change their name to recognise that, but I can see absolutely no benefit to the child in changing their name when they've a good relationship with their Dad.

You wouldn't change a 3 year old's first name to suit yourself and, imo, his surname is as much part of him as that.

valkirn

See i did the opposite my eldests dad came with me and registered her birth but i gave her my last name.

When i met my current partner i asked if he minded any children we had taking my last name also and he agreed so my eldest wouldnt be left out.

He then took my last name when we married x

Jamie_Carter

pinkshoes wrote: »

I think the mum is bang out of order and the child should remain Smith.

It's no doubt hard enough for the dad not being resident parent, but demanding to change HIS child's surname to another man's surname is taking the p*ss!

Why doesn't the mum, new man, his child and new baby take the name "smith" if it matters that much?

I have to agree.

It is unfortunate that many mothers forget that children have two parents, and it is not just up to them to make decisions. If the child hadn't already had their name registered, then it would be a different matter. But the child has a name, so why change it.

Shak1rak

I have twin 9yr olds with my expartner. They both share his surname. I am with my new partner of 4 years and we have a 16month old, she shares my new partners surname.
Just to throw a little more confusion into it, I am not and have not been married to either partner so I have a seperate surname lol.
The twins have absolutely nothing to do with their useless father and my new partner has done more for them than their own father ever did... I would still never consider changing their surnames and like I mentioned before, they never see their dad. Haven't done for about 3 years!!

lolavix

My Oh's ex considered changing their son's surname to her maiden name when they got divorced but soon changed her mind....it's just not right to change a kids name because of a relationship breakdown

skivenov

Is the kid old enough to make a decision themselves?

When he was 10-12 my best mate James' mum remarried and he was asked if he wanted to change his last name. He was clear in not wanting to, and they respectted that.

Mind you, his stepdad being called Bond could have been a factor :rotfl:

faerie~spangles

lilymay1 wrote: »

Thanks to everyone who has replied.

I agree with everything you have all said. 'Mum' is a bit of a sour person and can't for the life of her understand why the child's dad has said no. She has been in the current relationship about 2 years (she's 22). Married for 12 months.

It's not my place to comment to her, I just wanted to know what everyone else thought. It seems we all agree.

Oh, and the child in question is 3.

OOOFT there may be a few more 'daddies' in the future.:A