itsa's boot camp diary

itsa

I won’t bore you with all the details (well, not at the moment anyway) but there is honestly not one single thing about my life I’m happy with. And while I’m on the honesty trail, I probably need to admit that I’ve not been happy for a long, long time, but I’ve been too depressed, lazy, scared, [insert word of your choice], to do anything about it. I have had times when I’ve tried, but they’ve been short-lived due to [insert excuse of your choice, I’ve certainly used them all at one point or another].

A few things have happened this year which have given (eventually) me a kick up the arris and I am determined to sort it all out as fast as possible.

Things I have done so far are:

· I have quit smoking ( just over 2 weeks). Ok, this is a biggie. Recent lightbulb moments about this have been a) I am not just having a few a day because I enjoy them – I am smoking 30 a day on a good day and I don’t have that many good days. b) I actually don’t have enough money to smoke this much which might explain the maxed out credit cards and running out of money half way through the month situations of recent years c) I’ve been using the “I’m young and I’ll stop smoking before it affects my health” excuse for over 3 decades. :eek: I’m not young and it is affecting my health.

You would think that all of these blinding realisations would make quitting easy, but unfortunately not. At the moment, I still think, about a hundred times a day, that smoking is the best, most fantastic thing in the world, that life’s not worth living without it, that I can just have one now and then, that..... [smokers – insert excuse of your choice, non-smokers look away, as I know deep down inside that it really doesn’t make any sense, but that’s addiction for you ).

· I have admitted to myself that somewhere along the line I have lost any willpower and discipline with regards to money. This is shameful for a supposedly intelligent woman of my years to say, but there it is. In my dim and distant past I was “ good with money” and I’ve been desperately hanging onto that delusion despite all evidence to the contrary. In response to this lbm I have started a financial boot camp. I have set up all bills/regular payments on direct debit/standing order and destroyed any way to easily get into my current account (I could, at a push, ring the bank’s call centre, but previous experiences of this means that I really would have to be very, very desperate indeed). My financial mismanagement of recent times mean that credit cards are all now defaulted and with debt collectors, so no access to any possible credit. Spending money is set up by standing order to come weekly into an account (with only an ATM card,) so at least if I overspend I’ll only have a week to wait until the next “payday”.

So, boot camp here we go – no pain, no gain :eek:

gothrockchic1

Happy new thread :T

I hope this is also your quest for happiness as well. x

Heffi1

Hi, I echo a lot of what you have just said and it is not easy reading, so I am going to subscribe and come along on the journey with you if you fancy some company.

I gave up the cigarettes, to take up rolls ups, so I know how hard it is, but well done on getting to 2 weeks that is the hardest part done now, you just have to keep yourself busy and motivated and if you are doing so well I might just have to join you and give up too.

itsa

Hi both, thanks for dropping in. Any support gratefully recieved

The NHS quit kit pack come with a poster that you can tick off the days completed and give yourself a sticker. A bit silly but I'm actually finding this really motiviating. I've just ticked off day 18 (officially at 10 this morning), given myself a sticker, and I'm into day 19. Having a bacon sandwich to celebrate

itsa

Well, it's Sunday night, the end of the first week with no access to my bank account and a 'weekly pay packet'.

The weekly amount was decided by the highly sophisticated budgeting system of picking a nice round number from my wages that would pay most of my debts in around 18 months, and dividing what was left by 5 weeks.

This week I've spent £15.58 on nicotine patches, a couple of £s on bread and milk, and the rest on alcohol. Not exactly a balanced budget at the moment, but it doesn't really matter, because bills are being paid, I've got through the week and it's 'payday' again tomorrow

gothrockchic1

itsa wrote: »

Well, it's Sunday night, the end of the first week with no access to my bank account and a 'weekly pay packet'.

The weekly amount was decided by the highly sophisticated budgeting system of picking a nice round number from my wages that would pay most of my debts in around 18 months, and dividing what was left by 5 weeks.

This week I've spent £15.58 on nicotine patches, a couple of £s on bread and milk, and the rest on alcohol. Not exactly a balanced budget at the moment, but it doesn't really matter, because bills are being paid, I've got through the week and it's 'payday' again tomorrow

Its important to take small steps rather than giants leaps. Any small step counts.....keep going

itsa

Thanks gothrockchick, as long as I'm still going forward it will be ok

Think I was on a bit of a high of new found determination last week. The reality of this weekly budget thing is starting to hit home. Have drawn out this week's money, bought some patches and a bit of food (still mostly living out of stuff I already had), and now nearly skint again.

On the positive side, yesterday I sorted out all the money-off coupons that were scattered around the place and put them all neatly in an envelope in my handbag, and today I got £1 off the patches and 50p off some camomile tea (nicotine patches and camomile tea - think you can tell what sort of state I'm in at the moment).

Focus for this week is to trawl through email, bank accounts, survey sites etc and just drag as much money in as quickly as possible. Noticed a thread on Up Your Income which reminded me about a payment I'd requested from a survey site, so that's a £10 start.

gothrockchic1

Thats great! My best advice is to make plans for when you are debt free and have a visionboard. It really does keep you focussed x

itsa

That's a good idea. I know from past experience that in down times it's too easy to lose sight of where you want to be (and take a load of steps backwards). Will have a go this weekend.

Rainbow_Bridge

Well done itsa for all you have achieved already, you are on a roll, just keep going and you'll get where you want to be x.

itsa

Not been able to update this week as work's been completely manic, and I don't think it's going to be any better for a while. My hours (and money, obviously) have actually been cut this year, but it would seem the work is still there. More for less seems to be the order of the day. I really need to get into a better routine, be more organised and be stricter with my work/life boundaries. At the moment, I think they're just taking the mickey.

I've also had a bad week on the no smoking front. I don't suppose the work thing helped, but mostly I'm just getting fed up with dealing with it (now that the initial :j:j:j at actually stopping has worn off). I've managed not to cave in, but it's been a close thing a few times.

I was good last week and used the extra £10 to buy some patches from Amazon (where they're £4 cheaper), so next week I can use the money to catch up with something else. I've also redeemed a couple more vouchers which will help me start to get ahead with weekly budget money.

So positives of the week

work - survived
quit smoking - nearly through day 25
finances - moving forward

Think I'll go and enter a few competitions; I'm sure I deserve a win after this week