Planning for death - forum discussion

edited 16 October 2012 at 1:44PM in Deaths, Funerals & Probate
105 replies 38.6K views
1246711

Replies

  • toontrontoontron Forumite
    2.1K Posts
    ✭✭✭✭
    jilljax wrote: »
    I must agree with Martin on how important this is. My beloved Dad died 2 years ago and he had planned his funeral from the hymns he wanted, who he wanted to take the service, how he wanted the layout of the hymnsheet, the announcement in the paper. He had even bought a grave for himself and my Mum!
    he would remind us where all these instructions were on a regular basis, and we would say things like "Oh Dad, don't talk about that".
    But when the time came, he saved us a lot of worry and angst and in fact, we sometimes had a little laugh just remembering how he organised it all.

    I shall try and do the same but it will be difficult!

    I lost by Father a few months ago and he did exactly the same thing, right down to doing his own order of service, putting it on a memory stick, with a note attached telling me to "insert end date"! The only thing I had to organise was the flowers as he didn't consider that a manly decision to make. He also set up a joint account with me which contained the money to pay for the funeral, everything was in files, with the addition of a file to describe the files! It certainly helped.
    January GC: £64.81/£80.00
    February GC: £24.60£80.00
  • I recently came up with a document titled, "Expression of Funeral Wishes". It's one that I compiled myself, on one A4 piece of paper. It makes it so easy to lay out one's wishes, and takes the form of a questionnaire. It's great because I am gradually handing them out to my family, and the questions are the same for everyone. Like : " how do you wish your body to be disposed of?".... "have you pre-purchased a burial plot? If so, please give plot number here............ "
    "What are your wishes regarding flowers?"...... "how do you wish to be dressed?"........ "What funeral director do you wish to be appointed?".......... and other such questions. Also included is the catch-all section, "Any other wishes regarding your funeral you want your family to be aware of?".........
    Next I will make a will and deal with other aspects of dying, but for now, I already have some piece of mind that my wishes are laid out clearly on paper, signed by myself and witnessed. I would encourage others to use such a document. Think of every question you could conceivably need answered while your loved one is yet among you to give such answers. It's quite a relief honestly.
  • "peace of mind" is what I meant to write.
  • edited 11 November 2013 at 5:16AM
    John_PierpointJohn_Pierpoint Forumite
    8.4K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    ✭✭✭✭
    edited 11 November 2013 at 5:16AM
    Bedsit_Bob wrote: »
    Heaven forbid, but what happens, if more than one of the signatories dies at the same time?

    It depends on the legal situation if a position of trust is involved this legally trumps the rights of the trustees as individuals [Unfortunately getting such legal rights enforced, when trust has broken down and there is no honour amongst the trustees, is difficult and expensive and proof of criminal intent makes the police shy off from fraud cases].

    For trivial matters, the remaining trustee sends in the death certificate and carries on as sole trustee. [The chance of the organization checking out the original deed/will to see what is specified is slim].

    If the trustees legally own something that carries legal obligations, such as a business or land these legalities should be checked, and it might well be advisable for the remaining trustee to appoint replacement(s) even if not actually instructed to do so. Having property owned by dead people makes a legal mess; it caused extra costs and delays.
  • Savvy_SueSavvy_Sue Forumite
    43.6K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    planahead wrote: »
    I recently came up with a document titled, "Expression of Funeral Wishes". It's one that I compiled myself, on one A4 piece of paper. It makes it so easy to lay out one's wishes, and takes the form of a questionnaire. It's great because I am gradually handing them out to my family, and the questions are the same for everyone. Like : " how do you wish your body to be disposed of?".... "have you pre-purchased a burial plot? If so, please give plot number here............ "
    "What are your wishes regarding flowers?"...... "how do you wish to be dressed?"........ "What funeral director do you wish to be appointed?".......... and other such questions. Also included is the catch-all section, "Any other wishes regarding your funeral you want your family to be aware of?".........
    Next I will make a will and deal with other aspects of dying, but for now, I already have some piece of mind that my wishes are laid out clearly on paper, signed by myself and witnessed. I would encourage others to use such a document. Think of every question you could conceivably need answered while your loved one is yet among you to give such answers. It's quite a relief honestly.
    Perhaps I should do this over Christmas lunch? :rotfl:
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • ameliarateameliarate Forumite
    7.4K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    Hi, was wondering if any second 'wife' or husbands out there have written a will, and what issues it bought up.

    I am a second wife, my husband has grown up children/grandchildren from a first marriage, and we have school aged children together.

    We live in a house I bought before we married and I would like it to go to my children on the basis that they are set up well -

    My health is a disaster and I am probably looking at months of life and not years. Hubby is fab, but a financial disaster - and I want the kids to be safe/roof over heads and am thinking of leaving it to them in the will.

    Is this sensible do you think?

    my partner and I live together - not married - both have children from previous relationships. We are being very careful to ensure that are wills express what we want clear, e.g. that the house can't be sold unless the remaining partner wants to move or meets and co-habits with/marries someone else.
    We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
  • madbadrobmadbadrob Forumite
    1.3K Posts
    Eighth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    ✭✭✭
    The law actually states that estates over 5000 pounds should go to probate however banks have done their own thing and set their own values of what they believe requires probate. Joint accounts in Englandand and wales dont go to the estate and that makes lif so much easier

    Rob
  • DigForVictoryDigForVictory Forumite
    11.5K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    My beloved uncle, having buried his cherished wife in the previous year, left his estate in immaculate order, with a folder clearly labelled Departures. In it was everything the checklist covers, original certificates, and a note for his son.

    Which named the two other souls who held memory sticks with all this info scanned on.

    He was much loved, much mourned & went absolutely as he wished, becuse he had planned it thus & his son was so glad to know exactly what was wanted.
  • My parents have specified a large sum of money to be left to me on the first death. However all their savings is in joint accounts. Does this mean the money will automatically pass to the survivor so my expected inheritance will not materialize.
  • Torry_QuineTorry_Quine Forumite
    18.6K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Bake Off Boss!
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    My parents have specified a large sum of money to be left to me on the first death. However all their savings is in joint accounts. Does this mean the money will automatically pass to the survivor so my expected inheritance will not materialize.

    Joint accounts aren't counted in a person's estate and the money goes to the other holder of the account.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
Sign In or Register to comment.
Latest MSE News and Guides

Tesco Clubcard rule tweaks

Be careful when converting points to Cineworld

MSE News

£148 of Ciaté nail polish for £35

Via its Advent calendar (norm £59 delivered)

MSE Deals