60 year old widow needs some advice to survive

oliveoil99

marybelle01 wrote: »

Yes, but that isn't really the point is it? You don't need 2 bedrooms and do you really need a bungalow - that piles on the rent as bungalows are in shorter supply on the rental market - and you do not need a garage or a lot of ground space. You need a property which you can afford! And there are plenty of those available.

I am afraid that I echo the thoughts of others here. You are coming across as very negative. You either need to find a job - any job, and not just the job that you want - or you need to reduce your outgoings and the rent is the most obvious drain. I realise that neither of these options is your ideal, but beggars cannot be chosers. The amount of benefits you get isn't going to change and this property is not going to get any more a ffordable.

I'm not a beggar have paid into the system for 40yrs can you say that? I am not of low intelligence what you have said I already know and yes I have tried to find alternative housing and work so do not make assumptions you know nothing about.

Dunroamin

Unfortunately, however much effort you put in, some people just don't want to be helped.

Hopefully everyone's suggestions may not be wasted and help others who are more receptive.

poet123

oliveoil99 wrote: »

I'm not a beggar have paid into the system for 40yrs can you say that? I am not of low intelligence what you have said I already know and yes I have tried to find alternative housing and work so do not make assumptions you know nothing about.

I don't think for one minute that poster was implying you were a beggar! It was a saying, to show that she understood you are in dire straits which is presumably why you posted.

Your choices seem limited, but currently you do have choices, that situation won't stay the same forever. If you allow this to continue your choices will be taken away.

Moving may not be your ideal, but longer term it will be for the best. Housing costs can be reduced if you downsize, along with outgoings. It is the obvious solution.

Meanwhile, do you run a car? if not could you rent out the garage or use the land for an allotment. Could you advertise typing services, Avon, Betterware? until you can find a more suitable job.

Does your daughter realise what a pickle her leaving has left you in? Is she in a position to help you out short term?

I can see from your responses that you feel very demoralised by all this, and there seems to be a level of despair in there too. You have to try and pick yourself up, and look to the future, it may not be the one you thought it was going to be, but many people have to adjust to that. Look around for affordable housing, even Sheltered accom may be an option, as it would give you a social life too very cheaply, and you would be the spring chicken of the group no doubt!! You could even look into being a Warden in such a scheme, and then your housing costs would be subsidised or travel costs paid if you were a relief live out warden.

To move forward you do have to be open to possibilities and consider things that maybe previously you would have dismissed out of hand. I do think that your posts show you have not yet achieved that kind of mindset, which I think is what people were pointing out, and which you seem to have take exception to. No one is trying to be unkind, or unsympathetic but there comes a point when kindness and sympathy have to be overtaken by reality and action if problems are to be overcome. Good luck.

LisaW123

I am very sorry to hear of your predicament.

I’ve been looking online and it appears that there are a couple of foodbanks in Bradford. One is run by the Trussell Trust and another is called Bradford Metropolitan foodbank. Foodbanks provide a few days provisions to people in need and I feel certain you should qualify for some help from them. You have to be referred by a doctor or social services, but if you’re not keen on disclosing your circumstances or involving social services, the Citizens Advice Bureau can also refer you. Please do not be too proud to seek help from this source. Some additional food would help stretch your meagre budget. I believe many foodbanks also have people on hand so you can discuss your situation and any other sources of help available to you locally.


I recognize that it will not be easy to find work in your 60s and read in one of your earlier posts that you had advertised locally but had been unsuccessful as you live in a poor area.

I don’t know if you qualify for a free bus pass but, if you do, it may be worth you travelling to a more prosperous area and putting a card in a couple of shops. You could say something like “Mature, responsible and trustworthy lady seeks private domestic cleaning work. I have 40 years experience of housekeeping and cleaning and will be happy to attend to all of your domestic needs, including ironing if required. References are available”

You could also add your hourly rate.

Not ideal I know but in the circumstances even 4 or 5 hours work a week could make a difference.

I can see that some of the posts on here are upsetting you. Please ignore them. I am no advocate of benefit “scroungers” (for want of a better word) but you have worked for 40 years, have been unfortunate enough to lose your husband and deserve better than the situation you find yourself in at 60 years of age.

Finally, if this situation is making you depressed, and I can understand how it would, please see your doctor for some help. You may also be able to access more benefits through the sickness route.

I wish you good luck.

kathie1101

I don't know which area of Bradford you are in, but I have had a quick search for 1 bedroom properties in Bradford at £400 pcm or under on Right Move. Ok quite a few of the properties are probably more suited to students, but I am sure that of the 147 properties it found something must be suitable for you. As has already been said, you don't have to declare that you receive HB unless the landlord specifically asks. Here's the Right Move results I found - http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/Bradford.html?maxPrice=400&minBedrooms=1&maxBedrooms=1
Even at £400 pcm you would be £72 a month better off. Then, if not already fitted you need to get a water meter fitted. I know several people in Bradford who only pay around £10-15 a month on a water meter and they are not particularly frugal. So you could be around £40 a month better off there.
Then there is your gas/electricity - that seems quite high, but in a 1 bedroom house/flat you should save quite a lot there as well.

nomoreboomandbust

SandraScarlett wrote: »

What a sad situation to be in, it must be so exhausting for you, trying to find a good, and satisfying solution to your problem. I can only agree with what others have suggested, but wondered if you could offer your services to working mothers in the area?

I have a friend who has 2 children delivered to her home, having been fed and watered (!), and they are there for half an hour, then she takes them to school, and repeats the procedure in reverse, at the end of the school day, when she gives them a drink and a biscuit, and later, a cooked dinner. She gets £15 a day in term time, £75 per week, and has them 2 whole days a week in the school holidays, and gets £75 for that too, so she knows her income is steady.

The mother considers her "a treasure", because her own mother and MIL live too far away, and the children love having Grandma Judy, and it is reciprocated. Other Mums have asked if she can look after their offspring too, but my friend reckons 2 are ample, so gives them names of her friends who are interested in a similar arrangement.

Whatever sort of employment you would seek in the "caring community", be it like my friend, or perhaps working in a care home, you'll be viewed as a mature, motherly, dependable woman, who won't be absent for period pains, or an unexpected long weekend at a festival!

I wish you every success, and hope you find something to suit you soon.

xx

I maybe wrong but I am not sure about this, is this legal in any way, I thought you had be a registered childminder/OFSTED regulated these days, I know there was a big hooha recently about someone not being able to look after her sisters children because she wasn't registered-

poet123

nomoreboomandbust wrote: »

I maybe wrong but I am not sure about this, is this legal in any way, I thought you had be a registered childminder/OFSTED regulated these days, I know there was a big hooha recently about someone not being able to look after her sisters children because she wasn't registered-

It may not be strictly legal, but how can it be regulated? How is it different from a friend dropping her kids off at another friends for her to drop them off at school? How is it different from having other kids round to play for a couple of hours whilst mum pops to the hospital etc. Who is to know that money changes hands?

I think the state interferes too much in this kind of thing.

valk_scot

Thing is for every hour you work at ~ £6 an hour that's money in your hand up to 16 hours work, isn't it? That would be £96 a week max, if you could manage to find it. Dog walking, cleaning, picking up kids from school, babysitting, ironing etc.

Short term suggestions:

1) Water meter. If your landlord won't let you put one in then ask him to contribute to the water costs.

2) Rent the garage space.

3) Start your own veg garden and get a few chooks in next spring, that way you won't starve. And you could sell excess eggs.

4) Look for voluntary jobs that will provide meals as a perk.

5) Find the local food bank.

6) Any hobbies that could provide a small income? Jam making, baking, sewing, knitting etc? I know there's a fair few regulations surrounding home food prep but one way of getting round that is to trade goods rather sell them.

7) Any skills you have that you could tutor in? Second language or once again a hobby skill?

8) Finally how about Ebay? There's plenty of folk that spend their time checking out the charity shops and car boot sales for stuff that they then sell on via Ebay.

You'd need to keep on the legal side of declaring income of course. I'm not suggesting you do this under the counter though I personally wopuldn't be that worried about a stray £1 for a jar of jam if that's all I was selling. You'd need some capital to set up some of these ideas of course but you might feel you could ask your daughter for a loan for that?

I do know several people of your age on restricted incomes that do some combination of the ideas above in order to up their income to a more comfortable level. The one thing they have in common though is that they're very proactive, they go out looking for opportunities and they're never afraid to give an idea a try. I do think from what you're saying that you are being a little negative about what's out there. Money won't just come to you, you have to go out looking for it. And tbh it will give you something to do, it's not good to just be sitting in the house worrying about things. And I do think that's where the negativity is coming from, you feel powerless to help yourself. You're not, honestly, but you do have to make some of the first moves yourself.

xylophone

You want to stay in your current home.
This is entirely up to you but if you do so, you have to accept that either you will need to live very frugally for the next two years , getting what help you can from your daughter, food banks etc, or you need to earn some extra cash.

Have you looked at the gum tree ads in http://www.gumtree.com/housekeeping-cleaning-jobs/bradford

nomoreboomandbust

poet123 wrote: »

It may not be strictly legal, but how can it be regulated? How is it different from a friend dropping her kids off at another friends for her to drop them off at school? How is it different from having other kids round to play for a couple of hours whilst mum pops to the hospital etc. Who is to know that money changes hands?

I think the state interferes too much in this kind of thing.

I agree, but you may not be able to advertise your services so freely, unless people know you well and then you might be able to pick up such work.