To quit or not to quit?

cakey

Hi, I didn't want to post this in employment or benefit as it didn't really fit.

Background hubby and I both work full time, he has his own business i am an employee for another company. We have 2 little ones, one is 21 months the other 8 months. I only did 7 months mat leave with the first and 6 weeks with the second.

We both work very long hours and are fortunate to have spare money at the end of the month, kiddies are in child are a couple of days, but that's all. I work from home so look after them both and work a full day.

It is now getting to the point where he wants me to do even more around the house ( on top of home cooked meals every night, washing, tidying etc) which is near impossible when I'm trying to work too. So he is pushing for me to quit. Now my boss is an !!!!, burned there has been a bit of trouble with him, but apart from that I love my job, I love my kiddies too and feel guilty I don't interact with them more.

It's not possible to be part time as the job would need to be 5 days. I'm worried if I come out of the workplace I will never get back in, and it gives me something to keep me sane. But equally i would love to give the kiddies more attention.

We can afford 1 wage with so cut backs, leaving not much spare at the end of the month.. But I just don't know what to do, is anyone in the same situation?

P.s I wouldn't leave to claim any benefits, we only get CB and wouldn't be entitled to anything anyway

krlyr

And hubby can't help around the house, because?
Is he struggling to realise that you're working even though you're home? Can you make a more defined line between work & play, e.g. set up an office in a spare room, have a set lunch break, etc. if you don't already?
Would it make more financial sense to pay someone else to help around the house - e.g. send your ironing off to an ironing service, have a cleaner come in or similar to ease your load?

Sambucus_Nigra

Why must you do more 'round the house'? What sort of things?

Slinky

Leaving aside the issue of your husband 'wanting me to do even more around the house' (why can't he do it?), if you agree more needs to be done around the house, can the household budget afford for you to get somebody in to do it, rather than you or him doing it?

EDIT looks like great minds think alike!

peachyprice

cakey wrote: »

It is now getting to the point where he wants me to do even more around the house ( on top of home cooked meals every night, washing, tidying etc) which is near impossible when I'm trying to work too.

Then tell him you want to employ a cleaner or an au pair to do the cleaning and cooking, you may even be able to do away with paying childrcare if you have an au pair.

If you love your job and want to stay don't let him talk you into leaving just because the house is a bit untidy and he'd prefer to have home cooked meals more often.

If you don't really care whether you work or not then i guess it's worth considering, but bear in mind if you do want to return to work it's alot harder once you've had a career break to stay at home with the children. Would you want to play housewife for the forseeable future, or do you enjoy the independence your job gives you?

Cherry_Bomb

Quit because your husband wants you to do more around the house?

Really?

sassyblue

Oh yes honey l feel your pain. I only have one child but know the work/life balance nightmare.

You need to ask yourself what YOU want, and from that comes your answers....

If you give up work because hubby wants you too, all sorted.

If you want to carry on working, have you got enough money to pay for a cleaner? It would make life much more bearable to walk into a clean home knowing the majority of your jobs will be done. You could get an airer for them to hang your washing on if you don't trust the weather so the washing is done, they could also prepare your vegetables for tea so it's mostly ready to put on.

l think your hubby is an a55, like mine was when DS was little. It's called laziness Mine has grown out of it now..... l told him he'd be shipped out if he didn't buck his ideas up and then a friends relationship split up because the hubby didn't help around the house, they both worked and had a child....

If there are two adults working then they share the jobs at home IMO, is DH above getting his hands dirty or helping with the children he created?

cakey

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Why must you do more 'round the house'? What sort of things?

He wants to come home to a tidy house ( not sure that's possible even if I didn't wrk

He also wants me to give more attention to the kiddies, he thinks they don't get enough attention

cakey

krlyr wrote: »

And hubby can't help around the house, because?
Is he struggling to realise that you're working even though you're home? Can you make a more defined line between work & play, e.g. set up an office in a spare room, have a set lunch break, etc. if you don't already?
Would it make more financial sense to pay someone else to help around the house - e.g. send your ironing off to an ironing service, have a cleaner come in or similar to ease your load?

He reckons he doesn't have time, he does 12 he days sometimes.

I dont do ironing period )) but a cleaner might be a good idea

We do have an office whic I work from, the lounge or playroom when I'm with kiddies too

tea_lover

cakey wrote: »

He wants to come home to a tidy house ( not sure that's possible even if I didn't wrk

He also wants me to give more attention to the kiddies, he thinks they don't get enough attention

So maybe HE needs to give up work then?

cakey

peachyprice wrote: »

Then tell him you want to employ a cleaner or an au pair to do the cleaning and cooking, you may even be able to do away with paying childrcare if you have an au pair.

If you love your job and want to stay don't let him talk you into leaving just because the house is a bit untidy and he'd prefer to have home cooked meals more often.

If you don't really care whether you work or not then i guess it's worth considering, but bear in mind if you do want to return to work it's alot harder once you've had a career break to stay at home with the children. Would you want to play housewife for the forseeable future, or do you enjoy the independence your job gives you?

That's what I am scared if losing ; the independence my job gives me, but I feel guilty for having that when he reckons the kids lose out.