To quit or not to quit?

picnic

A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog.

Walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall. In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel...

She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?...

' 'Yes," was his incredulous reply..

She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

sandraroffey

i do hope you arent seriously considering this??????

my son has a job that means very long hours and frequently an 80 mile drive each way as well. he always cooks the dinner when he comes in. his wife works part time, but he always helps around the house and is often to be seen on his knees cleaning the bathroom or kitchen. and hoovering. and helping the kids with their homework. and loading and unloading the washing machine.

if you are both working, you share the jobs in the house. try and make him understand that it is a home - not a hotel with room service!!!!!

i was with my sister at her place last year, and her husband walked in and askedwhen was the last time she had hoovered!!! its was spotless, her house always is and he never does anything.....so she passed him the hoover!!! he never said it again.

cakey

picnic wrote: »

A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog.

Walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall. In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel...

She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?...

' 'Yes," was his incredulous reply..

She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

This is going to be on his next Christmas card

picnic

I do think men sometimes forget that JUST having kids is a job in its self... and one of the hardest there is... (been there done that now got the grandkids)
the fact that you are doing 3 jobs to his 1.. (raising kids, running a house and working) should be pointed out to him more clearly...let him take the kids to work perhaps.. bet he cant.

good luck on sorting this out.. one of the many ups n downs of a relationship.

Gigglepig

Agree with posters above - if he cannot cope with his half of the house work, there are other ways you can address this (he could work less, or hire someone to help in the house)...

If he is running his own business, it may be good to not put all your eggs in one basket, your employment is an "insurance" on a rainy day.

Maybe you need to plan a week away on holiday, looking after the house and kids full time for a short while may be educational :-)

downsizer3

Just looking at your signature - with debts to pay I'd not be recommending a cleaner nor giving up work at the moment.
If its more time with the kids thats required - leave the housework till the weekend and you can quickly do it between you ( suspect that'll go down well!;))..................you need to be earning just now.

Hermia

cakey wrote: »

He wants it all the housewife, but enjoys the extra income..

He sounds like he wants it all. If you do decide to give up work you need to be sure that he won't start complaining that you aren't contributing financially. My aunt quit work when her ex-husband kept complaining that he wanted a wife who would look after the house and him. He was always going on about how his older colleagues had wives who kept a perfect house and always had a hot meal on the table blah blah. So she quit and within a couple of months her husband was moaning and whinging about how stressful it was being the sole breadwinner and constantly complaining about her not contributing financially!

cakey

Hermia wrote: »

He sounds like he wants it all. If you do decide to give up work you need to be sure that he won't start complaining that you aren't contributing financially. My aunt quit work when her ex-husband kept complaining that he wanted a wife who would look after the house and him. He was always going on about how his older colleagues had wives who kept a perfect house and always had a hot meal on the table blah blah. So she quit and within a couple of months her husband was moaning and whinging about how stressful it was being the sole breadwinner and constantly complaining about her not contributing financially!

That is a big worry for me too, I think he would be petty like that, especially about money.. What his is his etc.. What's mine is his. He was like that when I went in maternity as my wage dropped.. He conveniently forgot I paid off 12k of his debt with my commission payment before my maternity started.

I think my answer is stay working, I love being a mum, but not im ready to leave the work behind, especially to be some 50's housewife. Not that I'm not domestic, and don't get me wrong we don't live in a mess, he just likes a clean and tidy house all of the time, especially after he has messed it up.... Like when you clean the kitchen he comes home and dumps all his crap and then goes into another room... Gah!

Ok rant over

**Patty**

Got a suggestion about that

Get a box/storage tub. Scoop ANYTHING he dumps into it.
His mess....his problem. Do it every day then when he wants something, it's in the tub.

Seriously, if he wants to behave like a messy todler then treat him like one.

I did it with my 16 year old.......cured in less than a week

embob74

I found after having children that men and women aren't at all equal. The problem with modern life is men expect women to work but then they also want them to keep the house.
My OH gave up years ago expecting me to keep a tidy house, even my mum has given up on me! I figure if it bothers people that much they will tidy it themselves - so far it doesn't seem to bother him THAT much lol.