Non-coupon related Drivel Thread 8

Part_Mouse

MAGS and Drw

So sorry to hear the experiences you have been through. MAGS, i don't have any wise words but i feel so sorry for the the situation you are in.Familys can be so complex can't they.

I'm estranged from my own dad and not seen him in getting on for 10 years. Not much help but keep talking.

xx

Dr.Who-Who

Thanks PM - I get over it as I have a family of my own now.;) Life is too short to think about the past.;) Anyway blood is thicker than water.

adoreholidays

Oh Mags how very sad and what a difficult situation my heart goes out to you.

Unfortunately & not sticking up for your dad in anyway this sounds very like most family set up from that generation & maybe this has a lot to do with your fathers up bringing.:(:(:( In their time man was head of the household and had to be obeyed and maybe that power went to many a head and many women lived in fear of their husbands. Thank God in that respect things have changed but some people still living with the fall out from them years. It was also a generation where you never spoke or showed feelings about things this may add to his coldness. His treatment of you at the worse time in your life when you needed their support the most is unforgivable especially your sisters actions.

What is clear from your post is the desire to be there for your mum especially as her health deteriorates think that is important for you both. This means more contact with your dad and having to bite your tongue & maybe why you have felt the need to un burdened on here:A & hopefully just talking it over with someone away from situation will help. Please feel free to vent even if it just a virtaul ((((HUGG)))) you need.

adoreholidays

CouponWoman wrote: »

MAGS

I read your messages with sadness as it appears you feel you lost your family when you lost Chloe. Maybe I am wrong on this, but while you feel your family did nothing to help support you at the most horrible time a mother can face, they are still your parents.

Now that your parents are getting on in years, in fact they are getting towards the end of their lives, it is the right time, in my opinion, to help them cope with their health problems. Not just for their sake, but for your own. You need to forgive your parents for not being there for you. I think that way you will eventually be at peace with them and know that you didn't just walk away like they did.

Your father sounds as though he cannot express his emotions easily. He might hide behind a gruff and grumpy nature as he doesn't know any other way to act. Maybe this is how he was brought up, maybe it was something to do with his experiences in the war. I have no doubt he loves your mother, and he will be lost if she goes first.

So while I could forgive your parents I would find it harder to forgive your sister. She doesn't have age and illness as an excuse for not supporting you in your darkest hours. Maybe she, like your father, cannot express emotions, grief, sorrow, sadness and thats why she backed away from you.

As she lives only an hour away from your parents so has no excuse for not going to see them at least every few days if she has car. She too should bear some responsibility for helping with your parents appointments.

So you will never forget your familys betrayal, maybe you can allow some forgiveness into your heart and help your parents in what could very well be their final years.

I hope my comments don't upset you in any way hun, and I send you lots of (((hugs)))

CWxx

CW what a very good post :A:A:A and agree very much with what you have said I just found it difficult too put in to words like you have done.

adoreholidays

Dr.Who-Who wrote: »

Ah - is it a glitch? or just a normal offers ie : sada £3.00 sains £3.99?

Doc these are the 10 x 250ml bottles £3 in T's £8 in S's:j:j:j they weren't showing on S's page on MSM so wasn't sure if they would compare, but yes they did oh happy days. So hopefully will get a few more before offer finishes

you can only get 2 at a time as this will produce your £10 capped BM but will need to spend £4+ on other non branded items for it to compare:D

fungaltendancy

Dr.Who-Who wrote: »

For FT :- lol, didn't know you have been many times. I have deleted the photos you blink you missed it:p:p

i blinked and missed but thanks for the intel

Dr.Who-Who

Thanks AH - but me will opt for water its cheaper & healthy :p:p:p no wonder you are so hyperactive! you drink too much sugary drink:D

am doing my list for tomorrow 998 items to look at :eek: from 1 to 200 items I only managed to picked 1:rotfl:

kerri_gt

adoreholidays wrote: »

We went to cirque de soleil in Florida about 8 years ago it was amazing, so if it was Kerri you would have had a brill time:j

It was a show called Cantina - part circus, part dance and some comedy as well. Quite small and intimate and the performers were the ones selling their CDs and programmes afterwards which somehow made you feel part of the performance if that makes sense?

CM - glad to hear DD1's head is healing well, she's been so brave from what you've told us, bless her

MAGS - thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I'm not sure what else I can add but as the others have said, families are complex things (as they say, you can choose your friends but not your family).

It sounds like thing were tough growing up but ultimately I guess we have to accept that are parents are the way they are (however that is) and in some cases decide whether this is acceptable / tolerable to us or not. It's hard, but there's nothing you can / could have done about the dynamics between your mum and dad and leave that to them, otherwise you end up living your life consumed by their's (IYSIWM?) Only you can judge what is best for you in terms of having any kind of relationship with them now but the hardest words once they are gone are 'If only' .

Your sis is a harder one, have you ever spoken to her frankly about how you feel? People deal with grief and difficult situations in different ways, I'm not sticking up for her as not supporting you at such an awful time is not something easily forgiven - but do you think perhaps she didn't know the right thing to do, or was worried that the fact her daughter had just had a baby would be too hard for you to deal with and tried to shield you in a clumsy kind of way? Or perhaps she is a thoughtless, hard nosed mare - many of us make allowances for family we wouldn't do for friends, purely because they are family. Question comes down to whether you're bothered about having her in your life or not (that's not meant to sound harsh) - only you can answer that.

Thing that does matter is that you do have a wonderful family who love you very much (even if your OH irks you at times) - and the excitement of a new GS on the way, perhaps looking at all the people in your family who make you happy and feel loved will help you come up with some answers about those you have a more difficult relationship with.

Sorry for the long, clunsily worded post just wanted to give you a virtual hug really x

adoreholidays

Dr.Who-Who wrote: »

Thanks AH - but me will opt for water its cheaper & healthy :p:p:p no wonder you are so hyperactive! you drink too much sugary drink:D

am doing my list for tomorrow 998 items to look at :eek: from 1 to 200 items I only managed to picked 1:rotfl:

Me no drink them:D;) but have them in house for guests when come for dinner etc that's why want them for party for all the guests that will be driving:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:I am quite happy with water from my filter jug;) Sometimes will have one when out and feel like a change but only have the raspberry one as the orange ones seem to upset my stomach:o The teenagers like these at family gatherings:)

Part_Mouse

Dr w that's very true. Off to bed soon. Night all x