Affairs

Miss_Havisham

tbh no matter what you say to her she will do what she wants and at the moment she wants to hurt the man. She is so full of rage that she can't see how she would be hurting the wife - in her mind it's the hubby that will be solely to blame.

Good luck !

calleyw

I can only tell you what she told me, and the change I saw in her. She changed a lot over the last 6 months which is approx the length of the affair. She said it was guilt, I also suspect it was the fear of being caught out.

I am not saying she is right by any means. But it takes two for something like this to happen. There 3 people involved in this. My friend, her ex lover and his partner. The innocent party is the partner.

Some people would want to know. I know I would, as I wouldn't want to stay friends with my ex if I knew he had been having affair. I would want him out of my life for good. But everyone is different.

I have told her get some good nights sleep, keep herself to herself. She knows she did wrong and don't ever do anything as stupid as this again. And move on as the guilt will only eat her up make her iller than she already is.

Yours

Calley

jellyhead

I don't think the partner needs to know ... she already knows that there was a problem with the relationship and that he's left her. She may suspect that he had an affair, or perhaps she thinks it was another reason, but either way she does know that he left her.

Maybe if he'd never left his wife and had dumped your friend and was planning to carry on living with his wife and pretending the affair never happened then I might understand why your friend thinks the wife deserves to know the truth, or perhaps if he's planning to come back to his wife and your friend doesn't want him living next door.

But as things are, the wife already knows there's a problem, so I think your friend could leave things be.

Do the neighbours have any children? If they do, then it's kinder to allow them to be friends after they split up.

System

She wants the bloke she cheated with to get in trouble but as she wants to do it annonymously she doesnt want any sh!te flung in her direction...... Nice woman (not).

calleyw

No children together, he does not intend to come back from what has been said.

I have tried to tell her not a good idea to let the partner know. She will not listen. That is why I started this thread so I could her show what people thought.

I think once she has got through the first couple of weeks of him dumping her. She will have better judgement, as I said she needs some good nights sleep. A bit of laugh and joke and to get him out of her system. And then she will see much more clearly. But I don't want her doing anything rash at this stage to herself or to anyone else.

Yours

Calley