Affairs

1940sGal

calleyw wrote: »

she said that is not the case and she feels for the partner.

Did she 'feel for the partner' when she was jumping in to bed with her husband?

Errata

Once a slapper, always slapper.

Barneysmom

I'm sorry OP but your friend makes me sick.

How can she do that to another woman.

I hope one day the wife realises what a complete sh8t her husband is, but I don't think your friend is the one to enlighten her.

ellay864

If my friend did that I'd be tempted to not only defriend her but to anonymously pass her name on to the man's partner. If the friend is so keen for the woman to know the truth, let her know the whole truth

*Louise*

calleyw wrote: »

She knows she did wrong and feels like !!!! about. If it makes some of you feel any better about what horrible person she is. She has lost a lot of weight and does not sleep at night because of it.

Good.
Although I will bet that's as a result of being dumped, not guilt. She obviously never felt guilt shen she was sleeping with him behind his wife's back so I doubt she would feel her conscience kicking in all of a sudden now.


It doesn't make it any better or make up for what she did. She is as guilty as he is. And the way she feels will be nothing compared to how the wife will feel when she finds out she has been betrayed by both her husband and a friend.

duchy

Sorry but why on earth are you friends with someone who shags married men then when they tire of her wants to hurt the wife ? She sounds horrible. Does she make a habit of going after other women's men -and have you asked your own partner if she's had a crack at him too ?

Fire_Fox

calleyw wrote: »

I can see both POV.

I told her she is trying to get back at him for ending it. she said that is not the case and she feels for the partner. According to her, he had on a couple of occasions said that he was going to tell his partner because him and her had argument.

My feeling is that if would not admit to his partner that he was having affair why would he say that who it was with. And the fact that he ended the affair over text he is a bit of gutless wonder.

She knows she did wrong and feels like !!!! about. If it makes some of you feel any better about what horrible person she is. She has lost a lot of weight and does not sleep at night because of it.

I know personally I would like to know. Rather than hold some rose tinted view over the relationship. And if he has done it once how many other times has he done it before.

Yours

Calley

So what if he has done it before? Why does she want to tell the wife, to release her own conscience? If so that is selfish in the extreme. If this is making your friend ill then she need to seek medical help for her own stress/ anxiety/ depression/ insomnia. Was she not sleeping at night and losing weight whilst the affair was going on, or only since it ended?

Until the cheating bar-steward told me that he cared so much for me that he sh@gged someone else, I would have told you that I would always want to know and I would never stay with them. WRONG: it destroyed me it still does, and he wasn't even the love of my life. Rose tinted spectacles leave you with some happy memories, it doesn't stop you trusting and it doesn't make you into a bitter twisted shell. Not everyone ends up like that but you can't know until it is too late to take it back. I hope you and your friend never find out what it is like to be on the receiving end of that kind of news.

calleyw

the weight loss and not sleeping was during the affair which has only finished recently. That is what alerted me to something that was wrong as she looked tired all the time.

I have known her a long time and we both came out of long term relationships at roughly the same time. She was single when the affair started. Not an excuse, but I think the break up her own marriage (not due to cheating)pushed her over the edge and made her do something that is totally out of character for her. As she is normally quiet. And her own view is that you let the person you are with go and then start a new relationship.

No I don't believe that she hit on my husband when I was with him.

yours

Calley

pink_princess

calleyw wrote: »

the weight loss and not sleeping was during the affair which has only finished recently. That is what alerted me to something that was wrong as she looked tired all the time.

This has confused me :cool:

Your last post reads like she couldn't sleep due to the guilt, she can't of felt that guilty during the affair or she would not have been party to it.

barbarawright

I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is. Do you actually want a lot of people on a messageboard to say that your friend is the wronged woman and it's morally acceptable for her to 'get back' at her ex-lover in this way? You say you can see both points of view - what other point of view is there? No way is your friend planning to out the ex-lover out of anything other than revenge.