help! slipping into depression

Chrissiew

marybelle01 wrote: »

I am slightly confused as to your OH's position. He's been out of work for two years, but is fit enough to return to work (does he actually then have a job?), but is going to an employment tribunal? And if he is fit enough to return to work, regardless of whether he has a job, why can he not carry an 18 month old child up to bed - they aren't very heavy at 18 months? It's kind of hard to see what is going on here in terms of whether he is fit or not. Or whether he has a job or not.

And I suppose hindsight is a wonderful thing but I think that quitting your job just because an 18 month old is sleeping on the sofa until you get home at 10pm wasn't a great idea. It may not have been ideal, but it also wasn't doing him/her any harm, whereas not having an money coming into the house is a lot less than ideal. Is there any chance of getting your job back?

He has been off sick from work for 2 years, he is now fit enough to return to work but his employer has decided to sack him, hence the tribunal, he can't claim ESA because he is no longer sick.

Chrissiew

So your partner has to sleep downstairs, too?


Why would her partner have to sleep downstairs too? The child sleeps on the sofa untill she gets home from work at 10pm then she carries the child to bed.

pickpocketlocket

Chrissiew wrote: »

He has been off sick from work for 2 years, he is now fit enough to return to work but his employer has decided to sack him, hence the tribunal, he can't claim ESA because he is no longer sick.

The likelihood of a tribunal finding dismissal to be unreasonable after a two year absence is low. They may receive a small award if the correct procedure was not followed, but the hassle and damage to reputation will far outweigh any monetary compensation.

marybelle01

Chrissiew wrote: »

He has been off sick from work for 2 years, he is now fit enough to return to work but his employer has decided to sack him, hence the tribunal, he can't claim ESA because he is no longer sick.

Yeah - but if he will be fit to return to work at the end of next week, then hasn't the employer dismissed him before he went back to work? In other words, during his sickness? They may not have been following precisly the process they ought to have done, but sacking someone after two years off sick isn't exactly unfair or even unexpected.

And I am still confused - he'll be well enough to go back to work so why isn't he well enough to carry the child upstairs?

Notmyrealname

marybelle01 wrote: »

Yes - but stairs may be a bit much even with help. Depends on the child. And the house. My house, even I have problems getting up stairs at times Old and Victorian - the steps are huge!

So put a cot in the living room. It ain't rocket science.

He has been off sick from work for 2 years, he is now fit enough to return to work but his employer has decided to sack him, hence the tribunal, he can't claim ESA because he is no longer sick

So why hasn't he been applying for jobs?

Chrissiew

marybelle01 wrote: »

Yeah - but if he will be fit to return to work at the end of next week, then hasn't the employer dismissed him before he went back to work? In other words, during his sickness? They may not have been following precisly the process they ought to have done, but sacking someone after two years off sick isn't exactly unfair or even unexpected.

And I am still confused - he'll be well enough to go back to work so why isn't he well enough to carry the child upstairs?

Yea didn't think of that, unless she gave up her job while he was still to sick to carry the child to bed, but from all accounts he is better now so could look for another job

kingfisherblue

lilliesmum wrote: »

I am a 23 year old mum of 1 with a fiance who has been out of work for 2 years due to a knee injury. My benefits have been sanctioned as i left employment as my 18 month old was having to sleep on the sofa until i returned from work at 10pm as my OH couldnt carry her upstairs. we now have about £9500 of debt between us, a house to pay rent on and get about £427 a month... every job i apply for seem to dismiss my application and my partners employer sent his p45 and a letter saying they no longer needed him (he was on sick leave). Im getting really depressed and feel like im in a downward spiral. theres honest people wanting to provide for their families and then theres benefit cheats that are having holidays twice a year, COULD SOMEONE SHED SOME LIGHT PLEASE ON WHAT HELP I CAN GET? As im loosing the will to live...
thanks

Have a benefits check

Ask the Job Centre to refer you to someone who can help you with your CV - if every application you make is dismissed, you need help to improve your applications

Don't just look for jobs once a fortnighht when at the Job Centre. Check online at least once a day, check newspapers online, hand out (new) CV to potential employers

Post your Statement of Affairs on the Debtfree Wannabe board for help on managing your outgoings and debts

Don't put all your faith in a tribunal regarding your husband's job - make sure he is looking for work elsewhere as well

If you get a job but your husband has to take the little one to bed, get him to take her upstairs before bedtime. That way she can climb the stairs herself (with dad by her side) and he doesn't have to carry her. He can settle her into her cot.

Good luck x

FBaby

I'm confused! What its so terrible about a child falling asleep downstairs in a choir until OP came back from work to out him to bed? Surely that was a much better alternative then being without a join and any revenue? Short but I can't see this as anything else than an excuse to give up one's job for whatever other reason.

marybelle01

FBaby wrote: »

What its so terrible about a child falling asleep downstairs in a choir until OP came back from work to out him to bed?.

Perhaps all the singing will keep them awake?

themull1

marybelle01 wrote: »

Perhaps all the singing will keep them awake?

Ha ha, good job i wasn't drinking a coffee...that was hilarious..!