OH always out playing bridge, I need absorbing hobby of my own. Suggestions?

shoopi

I started playing poker a few years ago. I knew nothing about it whatsoever when I started, and it's become a great source of fun and friendship. One thing I've noticed about poker is that there's very little pre-judgement - you are accepted whether you're male, female, old, young, from any walk of life and regardless of your skill or experience in the game. (I'm female, by the way - and some of the nicest women I know play at my local club. We have girls' nights where the main focus is on food and conversation - poker comes third!)

Poker is quick to learn but takes a lifetime to master, so it's an exciting, absorbing pursuit and if you find a nice group to play with, the social side is better than the game itself.

Try googling to see if there's a group which meets locally, and why not go along for one night? You might love it!

mountainofdebt

No-one has asked this but do you have any you (as in the plural) time?

My OH is a mason and sometimes it seems like he's forever out but he isn't out to the extent that your OH is and if he didn't at least listen to my concerns over the amount of time he was spending doing his thing then we would certainly be having words.

I might get shot down in flames for this but he sounds like a selfish git who has no regards for you or your relationship

Dunroamin

Am I the only person wondering if there's more to this relationship than just bridge?

Errata

Am I the only person who wants to suggest a regular seat in the snug at the Dog and Duck? That amount of games playing would drive meto drink!

mountainofdebt

Dunroamin wrote: »

Am I the only person wondering if there's more to this relationship than just bridge?

No.....and I did wonder whether the OP had actually met the Bridge Partner's OH or was just being told that they went away on the weekends - come to think of it what the OP should do is call her OH's bluff and suggest she comes along for a weekend away as well

GobbledyGook

So he plays bridge every day, including the weekends?

Imo that's not a hobby, that's an obsession. I think it's utterly selfish for someone with a partner to have such little consideration for time with their other half.

I wouldn't be finding a hobby tbh, I'd be having a frank conversation to find out if I actually still had a relationship. If that level of playing continues once the school teacher is back at work I'm afraid I'd be saying it either cut down or I'd bail out. I don't see the point in staying in a relationship where a card game was more important than me and where I had zero quality time with my OH.

Nottoobadyet

Buy (and learn to ride, obviously) a motorbike. I've had lots of hobbies over my life but none have brought me such basic, unadulterated joy.

usignuolo

Most of my husband's bridge playing partners are men his own age, so I suppose there is a certain status in having a young attactive female partner, but I don't think there is any more to it than that. I did join them on a weekend away last year but they played bridge from 10.00 am to 11 pm and then spent 2 hours talking about it in the bar afterwards. It was mind numbingly dull.

Her fiance is far too attractive for her to fancy my husband. Hell if I was 25 years younger I would prefer him too, and she spends most of her available free time with him. It's just that during the school holidays, when he is working some way away, she is available full time to play bridge with my OH. In fact she plays bridge even more obsessively than my OH, as much as 3x a day and when he is not available to play, she has a couple of other older male partners in tow, a sort of bridge fan club I suppose.

My OH is too old (27 years her senior) and too poor frankly to attract a gold digger. No I am afraid it is the bridge obsession. Golf seems to be the same. Addicts tell me you are always looking for the perfect hand or the perfect hole and the adrenalin rush that goes with it, and when you find it you start seeking it again. That is why both can take on the intensity of an addiction I guess.

So far I have sent in an enquiry to ask about volunteer helping back stage at the local amateur theatre company and am planning to join a sketching group, as both should get me out of the house regularly. But I would welcome any more suggestions.

Maybe I should start a club for bridge widows! I just fear it would be very depressing to belong to.

vl2588

If you're reasonably fit conservation volunteering (e.g. helping a local Wildlife Trust or Rivers Trust or similar) is an awesome activity and very worthwhile! There are usually both weekend and weekday groups you can join.

Birdwatching is also a good outdoor activity and if you join a local group there are regular evening talks as well as outdoor excursions.

mountainofdebt

Sorry but I'd still be having a few words if my OH's hobby meant that he was out every night of the week, leaving no time for us