Not in her right mind - can I block her access to her assets?

jay_girlsgirlsgirls

Hi all,

Quite a long story, so I will just share the gist of it:

- Mum met a Ghanian man on holiday in Ghana
- She went back over for 6 months to try a relationship
- Wasn't particularly happy, he only took her out rarely, she got very homesick
- She's lonely, and keeping on with relationship
- The man is significantly younger (late 20's, my mum is approaching 50)

Now she is back from Africa one month, and has started acting strangely. Everyone around her has noticed it. Since she went to Africa, she had asked me to keep an eye on her finances - so I added her details to my bank tracking software (the First Direct Plus). This means I can see anything suspicious.

- She has sent a lot of money in the last month (more money than she has in her ISA, she's sending it on a credit card via western union, and has now emptied all of her savings
- She is completely shutting the family out and lying; some thought he was opening a mobile phone business, whereas she told others a bar
- They refer to each other as husband and wife..
- He has a copy of her house deed (could be for Fiance visa, could be for secured loan...but why's he setting up a business if he's supposedly coming over to the UK?)

I will admit that I haven't acted until now, I made the decision not to get involved and let the relationship play out its course. But now it has started to effect her, she has a strange nervousness about her, and is completely not her usual self - a family member mentioned to her that he'd done something silly with money (which usually starts a lecture) but instead he got absolute silence.

She has a financial adviser, who has some money for her pension. She is also a trustee for my brother and I's inheritance money.

Appreciate this is long, so will try to summarise my questions:

- Money: Can he have a claim on the money held? Can I contact the Financial adviser and ask he prevent access based on her not in her right mind?
- Marriage: Does anyone know if I can find a registrar to see if they have?
- Who do I contact - would CAB, the Briitsh Embassy etc be able to help at all?

Any other comments are greatly appreciated, if anyone has any thoughts/ experience with this kind of thing, would like to hear your opinions.

Thanks,
Jay

Kalama

I've not experienced this from your point of view, but I deal with it very often in my line of work. The below is quite long, but hopefully some of it will be helpful. Let me know if you have any more questions.

I can't really help with the questions about money, apart from advise that you speak to a solicitor to get proper advice. Are there other trustees you can speak to?

On the matter of the marriage, if they have married in Ghana then it will be pretty much impossible for you to find out. As long as the marriage was carried out in accordance with Ghanian law, there is no need to register it in the UK as the UK government will accept it as a legal marriage. It may have been a customary marriage (i.e a tribal ceremony) which is not a legal marriage, which would not then be recognised in UK law and your mum may not realise this.

In terms of who to contact, the British High Commission in Ghana can only get involved if your mum is in Ghana and needs assistance. If she goes out again and you are worried about her, you can contact them on [EMAIL="consularaccra@fco.gov.uk"]consularaccra@fco.gov.uk[/EMAIL]. If you are worried that your mum is being coerced into continuing this relationship (possibly against her will), you can contact a specialist team in the FCO who deal with what is referred to as Forced Marriage on [EMAIL="fmu@fco.gov.uk"]fmu@fco.gov.uk[/EMAIL]

If you suspect that your mum's partner is using her as a means to get a visa to the UK, you can inform UKBA (you will be completely protected) by filling a form here http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/aboutus/contact/report-crime/ Alternatively, you can send your concerns to the email address above - it will then get passed to the visa section.

It could be that he is using your mum for her money, and doesn't intend to try to come over. Keep trying to talk to your mum. I know it is really tough but at the end of the day unless your mum is actually suffering from some sort of mental incapacitation or can be shown to be under duress I can imagine it will be very hard for you to stop her doing what she wants with her money.

The inheritiance is a slightly different issue - as mentioned above I really would see if you can speak to a solicitor. Is there a solicitor who dealt with it and is still involved you can raise your concerns with? Presumably there are restrictions on what your mum can do with the money if she is a trustee and not a beneficiary.

In terms of her bringing him here, the immigration rules relating to settlement have recently changed. In order to bring him here as either a fiance or a spouse, your mum will need to show that she has an income (from employment, pension, investments such as shares) of at least £18,600 per year. If she can't do this (for example if she is unemployed and not yet receiving a pension, or is she receives less than £18,600 per year) she needs to show that she has savings. The savings threshold is worked out as follows:

A minimum of £16,000 in savings
PLUS 2.5 x the income shortfall (2.5 as this is the length of time until he would gain permanent residency and would therefore qualify for access to public funds).

So if your mum has no income, she needs £62,500 (£16 K + [2.5 x £18,600]) in savings. If she has an income of £12000 per year, she needs £32,500 (£16K + [2.5 x £6,600]).

They also look very closely at the credibility of the relationship. The officers in Ghana will be very well experienced at this sort of application.

Kx

jay_girlsgirlsgirls

Thank you very much taking the time out to reply. She might just have enough savings to bring him as a fiance.

Will have the conversation with her and take it from there.

Thanks again,
Jay

amus

You could show her all the articles about these younger men (Ghana is a hot spot for it along with Nigeria) who rip off women under the pretence of a genuine relationship.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1354155/African-fraudsters-make-80m-year-ripping-women-desperate-love.html

http://www.antiscam.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=1614&sid=0e3f8780f42869378adc593c814c90ab

http://www.bbc.co.uk/crimewatch/solved/howtheycaught/ghana_datingscammers.shtml

http://www.delphifaq.com/faq/male_scammers/f6250.shtml

Your Mum is in a bit of a different position as she actually has met this man but similar patterns of behaviour are there. Emptying her bank account, not coming over to the UK etc etc.

I'd be really concerned about letting her go back there.

Fire_Fox

What do you mean by acting strangely? Do you mean you think she has a diagnosable disorder of mental health or has been manipulated/ fallen in love? If you think she might be struggling with her mental health the first port of call is her GP.

There is the Power of Attorney system, but you need to prove she is not competent to manage her own finances which is tough. Again see needs to see her GP. He cannot touch any money held in trust and she would likely be committing fraud to use it for her own purposes, there are trustee and PoA regulations online if you Google.

I think you will get her back up if you raise concerns that he is only after her money or a passport, IMO it would be better to ask her what she wants to do and what his intentions are. Say that you want to support her, but you are concerned if she gives him too much of savings she won't be able to sponsor him.

surfboard2

I have no advice, but i hear of cases like this all the time and it sounds like a disaster.

All the best.

Dunroamin

Your mother is 49, not 89. If she wants to make a fool of herself then that is her concern and not yours.

PasturesNew

Re the Trust money, I'd expect (unqualified opinion) that if she has access to the money and is the one investing it etc, then it could be possible for her to be ripped off for that, although there are protections. The trouble is, if she is ripped off for it - then she's abused her powers .... and you're left with having to sue her for the money that you know she's not got.

I'm a trustee and the money's in a proper trustee account, with the trust name as the account name.... so if I wanted to rip that cash off I'd struggle.... but it all depends how the trust was set up.

PasturesNew

Dunroamin wrote: »

Your mother is 49, not 89. If she wants to make a fool of herself then that is her concern and not yours.

I disagree.... being of that sort of age, I'd want to be saved from myself.... really.

TheConways

If it was my mother/family, I would be on a plane to Ghana to find out what is going on. I'd also look at hiring a private investigator. Sounds like she is being majorly connecd!

Seanymph

Dunroamin wrote: »

Your mother is 49, not 89. If she wants to make a fool of herself then that is her concern and not yours.

If our own family don't care for us then who will? The OP is after protecting her mother, through love and concern - she isn't interfering and inhibiting her mother's life, she's trying to ensure that her mother is in a position to be able to care for herself and retain independence and that she isn't being ripped off.

They are lucky to have a strong and supportive relationship, and if it isn't the OP's concern then I don't know whose it would be.

Our family is just that - people who love us, protect us, guard us, and try to support us objectively no matter what our ages. It may be that despite being in her 40's this lady has temporarily been conned because she wants to believe so badly - age isn't protection against making stupid decisions - her daughter is trying to ensure she has less to regret if it all goes wrong.

OP I have nothing useful to say, I think what you can DO is limited - but I understand you wanting to try.

You have to speak to her.