School bullies

Wellyboots6

I do not have children, but I was bullied at school continuously from primary school right through secondary school because of my voice.

I was always taught to ignore the bullies and they would get bored. They never did. Or those that did get bored were replaced by other bullies.

Occasionally I would speak to teachers about it, but nothing was ever really done other than being taken in to a teachers office with the bullies to have a 'chat', which made things worse.

I have a feeling that it has affected my adult relationships too as I have been treated quite badly in some relationships, but chose to ignore it as this was what I was always taught.

Things at school did change when I went to 6th form however. Over the holidays before starting 6th form I decided that I couldn't keep going the way I was and so became a 'goth'. A bit extreme but it did make people avoid me and so there was no bullying!!

I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes ignoring it can work, but sometimes you do need to stick up for yourself. Not necessarily physically, but using wit or other ways will mean that your son develops coping mechanisms for the future.

Not sure that made any sense!

meritaten

I was just puzzled about where your child was in school - no offence meant. I would raise this matter in school with the form tutor first and ask for a copy of thier anti-bullying policy. All schools in England and Wales have to have a copy available (and this is where the part of the country the school is located is relevant), but, I am not sure if this applies to Scotland and N Ireland.
I wouldnt listen to your DD - this needs to be sorted out by adults not children (which includes his cousins unless they happen to be present when he is being bullied).
If the form tutor isnt able to help then see the head of year or the Pastoral Care Teacher, if you have such in Scotland. otherwise it should be the Head or Deputy Head.
I really hate bullying and know exactly how a parent of a bullied child feels - It must be nipped in the bud now.
please post back and let us know how you get on.

halight

DKLS wrote: »

Apologies OP I did lol when I read your post, it's only natural to equate big head with roger the alien. But it wouldn't be any different if he was tall, short, fat, thin, big eared, jug eared etc etc.

Best tactic would be to start using a few Roger catchphrases and show it doesnt bother him. Please don't call in the school, don't you remember the law of the playground?

You "LOL" when you read the OP's post ???????
You do know that hydrocephalus can Kill ? It Is not the same as having big ears, Big ears can not kill you. Being tall can not kill you.

If all you can say is that the OP's post made you LOL then dont bother posting.

would you bully anyone who did not have any legs ? Would you bully anyone that had cancer ? LOL at them ??

Your no better than the bully's .
I think you should say sorry to the OP.

pimento

Bufger wrote: »

I'd start a rumour that he's the son of an international arms dealer, once that has bedded in slightly i'd hire a Range Rover and get some big bulky mates to go and pick him up from school with shades and suits on.

Not very MSE but very fun

Maybe i'm just twisted..

When my husband confronted the boys who were bullying my son they all ended up running away in tears (he didn't touch them) and because he comes across as being a bit strange and wears a fedora hat in the winter they weren't sure how to take him (he's a bit odd). The next day in school the gang leader said to my son "Your dad's fe*king mad" and my son replied "Yes, I've always thought so.."

The bullying actually stopped when my son cracked and thumped the kid so hard he hit the floor. They were both suspended for a day for fighting but I told my son it was the best thing he could have done. He never had any trouble after that.

halight

pimento wrote: »

When my husband confronted the boys who were bullying my son they all ended up running away in tears (he didn't touch them) and because he comes across as being a bit strange and wears a fedora hat in the winter they weren't sure how to take him (he's a bit odd). The next day in school the gang leader said to my son "Your dad's fe*king mad" and my son replied "Yes, I've always thought so.."

The bullying actually stopped when my son cracked and thumped the kid so hard he hit the floor. They were both suspended for a day for fighting but I told my son it was the best thing he could have done. He never had any trouble after that.

To tell you the truth, If this Young lad were fit and well and he was mine then Id tell him to thump to bully as hard as he could as well, I hate bully's.

But this young lad can not really take the risk of being thumped back. A hard blow to the head could cause many problems for him. even death.

Best way to sort the problem ? Well I feel that the school needs to be involved. I know that In some schools this could cause many other problems for the lad if not handled in the right way, But at the moment We don't know enough about the school to say this. I hope for everyone Involved that the school can handle this in the right way for everyone involved. inc the bully's.
They very well might not know all the details of this kids Illness, When they do I would hope that they stop the bullying and instead take the young lad under there wing and help to look after him, Become his friend and put things right.

ginger_tony

Hi there thought l would update, my son got up this morning and said he wanted to sort this out himself, he went into school and this group once again approached him and called him Roger my son looked at them and told them Roger isnt his name so dont call me it again. He said they said sorry mate no offence. He was so relieved as he said his heart was pounding and very scared but he felt very empowered.
I also contacted the pastoral care and informed her of what was going on, l explained that he wanted to deal with it on his own but I as his mother would like the school to monitor what is going on. She asked me to inform her of how he got on today to let her know tomorrow, she also believes if he can handle this himself it would be best for him but if he dosent feel able to control the situation she would have the matter dealt with straight way she has been most supportive. So fingers crossed this is an end to the matter.
Thank you everyone for your replies l appreciate your support.

DKLS

halight wrote: »

You "LOL" when you read the OP's post ???????
You do know that hydrocephalus can Kill ? It Is not the same as having big ears, Big ears can not kill you. Being tall can not kill you.

If all you can say is that the OP's post made you LOL then dont bother posting.

would you bully anyone who did not have any legs ? Would you bully anyone that had cancer ? LOL at them ??

Your no better than the bully's .
I think you should say sorry to the OP.

Get a grip you over sensitive drama Lhama, what was funny was the roger the big gay alien reference as i immediately thought of big headed kid and the wit of Roger the character, wind yer neck in, of course I know hydrocephalus can kill as I have much more clinical knowledge than you, so much more , I also remember the playground and how school actually operates, and the OPs kid would be Roger for the rest of his school days if he was in my class.

How it's handled is the most important thing the roger thing could be banter or bullying the choice is his, I was bullied as a kid due to having a Jewish surname!, thanks to an Uncle who taught me how to handle it appropriately, keeping my parents out of it was key and all was fine.

Whether we like it or not school is a vicious environment, that will never change.

meritaten

ginger_tony wrote: »

Hi there thought l would update, my son got up this morning and said he wanted to sort this out himself, he went into school and this group once again approached him and called him Roger my son looked at them and told them Roger isnt his name so dont call me it again. He said they said sorry mate no offence. He was so relieved as he said his heart was pounding and very scared but he felt very empowered.
I also contacted the pastoral care and informed her of what was going on, l explained that he wanted to deal with it on his own but I as his mother would like the school to monitor what is going on. She asked me to inform her of how he got on today to let her know tomorrow, she also believes if he can handle this himself it would be best for him but if he dosent feel able to control the situation she would have the matter dealt with straight way she has been most supportive. So fingers crossed this is an end to the matter.
Thank you everyone for your replies l appreciate your support.

in my opinion you did it right - you let your son handle it - but you also let the school know there is a problem. they will monitor the situation (hopefully). I truly hope that this is an end to the problem.

bubblegumcola

meritaten wrote: »

What school is your son in? it is the middle of August and all the schools in my area are on the summer break. they don't go back until September. Where are you?

I don't know about the OP, but the Scottish schools started to go back from the middle of last week.