School bullies

ginger_tony

My son has just started mainstream secondary school he has a neurological condition and hydrochephulus. He has a large head due to the condition. He came home today and said that four boys have been coming up to him and calling him Roger who is meant to be some gay alien from American dad he says he isnt bothered but he must have been to have mentioned it . Im livid his bloody life is hard enough and physically he stuggles every day. The dilema is do l get the school involved(his older sister advised against this) tell him to ignore it, l personally believe he should go to the ring leader and say my name is ******* not roger and this is getting boring but dont know if this is the wrong way to handle it but feel they will carry on if nothing is said or done and just dont know what to do. Sorry dont mean to offend anyone who is gay as my son isnt bothered with the gay thing its more the big head thing and this is what makes him insecure.

skateykatey

Sorry to hear about your son's experience.
I just a couple of questions, the answers to which could sway any advice that anyone gives you.
Do you know how old the other boys are? and do they already know your son?

balletshoes

honestly? I'd tell your son to ignore them. Sticks and stones and all that, so far they're just 4 stupid lads calling another lad names. If your son is able to rise above it and ignore them, no reaction, they may stop.

However, if it goes any further than name-calling, or if your son is getting very upset by it, thats when I'd involve the school.

sparky2012_2

hi agree with balletshoes ... children can be so cruel sometimes .. he is best to try and ignore it and not show any reaction or emotion if he can as its a reaction these bullies are looking for .. they will soon get bored then and move on !

DKLS

Apologies OP I did lol when I read your post, it's only natural to equate big head with roger the alien. But it wouldn't be any different if he was tall, short, fat, thin, big eared, jug eared etc etc.

Best tactic would be to start using a few Roger catchphrases and show it doesnt bother him. Please don't call in the school, don't you remember the law of the playground?

Carl31

Nip it in the bud. Teenage kids are horrible if they can get away with it. If its not stopped it will get worse. Ignoring it wont work. Does he have any friends who might fight his corner for him?

annie1975_2

Carl31 wrote: »

Nip it in the bud. Teenage kids are horrible if they can get away with it. If its not stopped it will get worse. Ignoring it wont work. Does he have any friends who might fight his corner for him?

I agree,they will just carry on and on and on...Depends what school policy is on bullying,some schools deal with it properly, and others dont....

balletshoes

Carl31 wrote: »

Nip it in the bud. Teenage kids are horrible if they can get away with it. If its not stopped it will get worse. Ignoring it wont work. Does he have any friends who might fight his corner for him?

it may not work, but it might. I had one girl (ringleader of her "gang") take against me for some reason or other when we were in high school. she tried her best to get a reaction from me by calling me names, making snide comments to her friends about me etc. I completely ignored it, and she stopped. It didn't go any further.

bubblegumcola

My son was bullied in his last year at primary school. I knew nothing about it for months until eventually my son told me about the daily name calling he endured..."gay, etc and about the friends he had" When I found out and he eventually told me who it was that was doing it (a child he had known for a long time and been at nursery with) I decided it had to be dealt with quickly. Rather than go into the school and get annoyed with the head teacher explaining it all I found it much easier to write a letter to the head teacher. Just wrote down the facts as my son had told me and that he was obviously upset by it all and that they had to do something about it. The next day the teacher took the name caller into her office and had a discussion with him, then my son was called in. An apology was made to my son from the boy after he admitted what he had done/said and as far as I know my son has never had any trouble since. He is now in secondary school and doing really well. I was more than happy with the way it was dealt with and the school told me afterwards what they had done to put a stop to it. I'm not saying that in your case the bullying will stop overnight but if your school has a clear anti bullying policy surely they must be able to help. Does your son have a guidance teacher he would be able to speak to or you could perhaps contact yourself? Or a head of year? It's obviously distressing...I know people say they are only words being said but at that age or any age it can be very distressing. I hope you find somebody who can help. Putting pen to paper was the easiest way for me to calmly put the issue to light to the head teacher in my case.

gardner1

bubblegumcola wrote: »

My son was bullied in his last year at primary school. I knew nothing about it for months until eventually my son told me about the daily name calling he endured..."gay, etc and about the friends he had" When I found out and he eventually told me who it was that was doing it (a child he had known for a long time and been at nursery with) I decided it had to be dealt with quickly. Rather than go into the school and get annoyed with the head teacher explaining it all I found it much easier to write a letter to the head teacher. Just wrote down the facts as my son had told me and that he was obviously upset by it all and that they had to do something about it. The next day the teacher took the name caller into her office and had a discussion with him, then my son was called in. An apology was made to my son from the boy after he admitted what he had done/said and as far as I know my son has never had any trouble since. He is now in secondary school and doing really well. I was more than happy with the way it was dealt with and the school told me afterwards what they had done to put a stop to it. I'm not saying that in your case the bullying will stop overnight but if your school has a clear anti bullying policy surely they must be able to help. Does your son have a guidance teacher he would be able to speak to or you could perhaps contact yourself? Or a head of year? It's obviously distressing...I know people say they are only words being said but at that age or any age it can be very distressing. I hope you find somebody who can help. Putting pen to paper was the easiest way for me to calmly put the issue to light to the head teacher in my case.

alot depends on the location of school and the bully
if the bully is a raggy arsed chav a punch in the face from a bigger lad normally works wonders
on the other hand decent school nice area a letter might be a good option

Fire_Fox

Get the school involved and keep informing the school if there are any repeat incidents. Schools should have a strong bullying policy, possibly zero tolerance. If these kids are bullying one child they will be bullying others.