Trying to be frugal but my fiance wastes money!

pleasedelete

You need to sit down with him and talk about it. When cutting back you need to jointly decide where the cuts are made. For example he may wish to carry on smoking but might be quite happy to cut back on another area (which may be one that you see as essential).

I would agree that if he has xx to spend then the assumption is that he can spend that as he pleases.

I have to say I thought the same as the poster above when I read the 1st post - the way it is written sounds like you do see him as another child (maybe it is jut the way it is written)

If you need money why are you going part time? That is the ultimate luxury item that most people simply can't afford. At 3 your child will be at school or nursery part time and full time soon - hardly a time to need to work part time.

I think you need to sit down and have a serious chat about your finances, your future goals and what you both want. Marriage is a partnership. Give and take.

Nan63

madkoi wrote: »

We are going Vegas because we both like a flutter but I know when to stop or limit myself lol! But there is so much more to Vegas then just the casinos. we will also be going on a horse trek in the desert, do some shopping & see the sights.
QUOTE]

Have you been to Vegas before? The opportunity and temptation to gamble is all around you from the minute you get off the plane and the minute you get back on it! You say you know when to stop but does your partner? I never gamble at home (well, a bet on the Grand National!) but the fever grabs even me in Vegas and it is all too easy to spend more than you intend to sitting at the tables/slots.

Also, I agree with the other posters who have said that once you have given him his allowance, it is his to do with what he will. Does he question what you spend your allowance on?

themull1

If you're that bothered about what he spends his 'allowance' on, why not both go to Gamblers Anon, stop gambling and save more money. And don't get married in Vegas! More temptation!!

raven83

I'd tell him that if he keeps on blowing money then you wont blow him, see how long before he starts to tighten his belt!!!

Dunroamin

bazster wrote: »

Sounds to me like a classic case of a laid-back, easy-going guy falling into the clutches of a control freak.

You give him pocket money as though he's just another child, and then you moan that he spends it!

This does not sound like a marriage made in heaven.

But it does sound like a marriage made in Vegas!;)

pmlindyloo

madkoi wrote: »

My fiance insists I control the money as he knows what he is like. If he didnt want me to handle the finances then he would say so. I think all in all, he has more personal spending than me. But I am going to keep all my reciepts this month & actually track what is spend to get an idea.
We are not spending alot on our wedding, and sorry its not a 'poxy' day to us. Our wedding will cost about £500 & the remaining of the cost is our holiday to Vegas which is an amazing experience in itself.

Just a slightly different take on things.

I am not for one moment suggesting that you do things differently because it's such a personal thing but I am wondering if you are controlling the finances then your OH has no real need to 'manage' money.

In my opinion (for what it's worth ) you are not tackling the underlying problem - his gambling. You are in effect saying 'I will sort out all our finances and you can spend your personal allowance on what you like.'

He has absolutely no need to worry about 'juggling' the finances or seeing where you can save or indeed where the money goes.

Being in a partnership means just that to me. He has absolved himself of any financial responsibilities completely.

I understand how this has happened but unless you make your finances a joint enterprise then it doesn't bode well for the future.

He needs to get some help with his gambling problem if he can't control it and needs to take some responsibility for your life together which includes the financial side of things.

Not meant to be super critical and I'm all in favour of the Las Vegas wedding!

bazster

Steady on people, just because he likes a flutter doesn't mean he has a gambling problem! If that were automatically the case then everyone who buys a poxy lottery ticket ought to be going to Gamblers' Anonymous.

I never gamble because I have a reasonable grasp of the laws of probability, but I know plenty of people who buy lottery tickets and/or have a regular flutter on the gee-gees or the footy. Stupid, in my opinion, but it does not necessarily make them addicts!

bazster

Nan63 wrote: »

I never gamble at home (well, a bet on the Grand National!) but the fever grabs even me in Vegas and it is all too easy to spend more than you intend to sitting at the tables/slots.

I went to Vegas once. I put a quarter into a slot machine (well I was in Vegas so I had to have a go, right?) and I lost the lot. 25 cents all gone, just like that! I wasn't tempted to have another go and spent the rest of my time in Vegas enjoying the dirt-cheap accomodation and meals subsidised by the serious gamblers.

Nan63

bazster wrote: »

I went to Vegas once. I put a quarter into a slot machine (well I was in Vegas so I had to have a go, right?) and I lost the lot. 25 cents all gone, just like that! I wasn't tempted to have another go and spent the rest of my time in Vegas enjoying the dirt-cheap accomodation and meals subsidised by the serious gamblers.

How very reckless of you

Thankfully, I'm not talking big amounts but certainly more than I thought I would spend on gambling! Like you, I enjoy all the other things to do in Vegas (especially watching the serious gamblers at the Bellagio, $1,000 a hand in blackjack!) but put me on a 25 cent Wizard of Oz slot machine and I am a woman possessed!

retepetsir

I have the same fun with my other half! I don't tend to buy myself expensive things and therefore save more as a result. Slightly annoying when we have a joint account for lots of things