Trying to be frugal but my fiance wastes money!

no1catman

I'm not wishing to derail the thread why do wish to spend so much on the wedding if you can't afford it in the first place!?

It might be better to think - how can we have a memorable wedding, without going into fantasy land or future bragging 'rights' to friends about it!
Just thinking that in years to come, when you need a new house (assuming you have your own at the moment), or be able to extend - if you get a bigger family - you may wish you still have that money that went on one event.

podperson

I'm sorry but I'm finding it a bit of a contradiction to say he has this money to 'spend as he pleases' but that he's being wasteful with it. If he's given this money to spend on what he likes then you can't really complain at him when he does spend it!

If you don't have enough in your budget for him to have this much per month then you both need to sit down and discuss the budget. Can I ask if you also have a set amount to 'spend as you like' - or are you currently saving this for the wedding. If you're saving your personal spending money and he's not then I can understand you feeling a little resentful but if he's not good with money anyway he probably doesn't realise that this is what's happening and like I said you may both need to agree to have less 'personal spends' for the moment so more can go into a savings pot for the wedding.

Though I must admit that I think the poster above has a point about why you're getting married in Vegas if you're this worried about your partner wasting money on gambling.

thegirlintheattic

So he works full time to support the family and you wish him to justify using his allowance?! Assuming you are doing this fairly and both have the same allowance, would you be willing to justify your spending? You can suggest reducing both of your allowances to the same level but I personally would be appalled if my OH asked me to justify my spending. Budget or not, you've given him a personal allowance and he can spend it as he sees fit, it's his money.

I also agree with the poster above. Maybe you need to lower your wedding costs, he may be sitting there thinking why are we spending so much for one poxy day.

DVardysShadow

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Maybe you need to lower your wedding costs, he may be sitting there thinking why are we spending so much for one poxy day.

Who knows? Going to Las Vegas may be an instance of the Abilene Paradox

whiteguineapig

who else had to google that lol

DVardysShadow

whiteguineapig wrote: »

who else had to google that lol

Me. I had to be sure that the explanation was out there.

madkoi

no1catman wrote: »

I'm not wishing to derail the thread why do wish to spend so much on the wedding if you can't afford it in the first place!?

It might be better to think - how can we have a memorable wedding, without going into fantasy land or future bragging 'rights' to friends about it!
Just thinking that in years to come, when you need a new house (assuming you have your own at the moment), or be able to extend - if you get a bigger family - you may wish you still have that money that went on one event.

We are going to Vegas to get married as we didnt want to waste £10-20k on a lavish wedding in the UK. It will cost prob £3k which is for holiday & wedding. Im not sure if your post was aimed at me or Katy? We have surplus money each month, so we can save for a wedding etc.

To all the other ppl that have posted, thank you for your comments. I do agree with alot of them. Yes maybe if it is me giving him an allowance then I should not question what he does with it. He walks to work so doesnt spend money on car or travel & doesnt go down the pub. So a game on poker or horses is his release I suppose.

We are going Vegas because we both like a flutter but I know when to stop or limit myself lol! But there is so much more to Vegas then just the casinos. we will also be going on a horse trek in the desert, do some shopping & see the sights.
I want to get married to him, because I love him regardless of his flaws. I am sure I have mine!
I may try to have a look at our budget & see if I can reduce our spending.

madkoi

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Me. I had to be sure that the explanation was out there.

Yeah me too, I didnt understand it.

madkoi

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

So he works full time to support the family and you wish him to justify using his allowance?! Assuming you are doing this fairly and both have the same allowance, would you be willing to justify your spending? You can suggest reducing both of your allowances to the same level but I personally would be appalled if my OH asked me to justify my spending. Budget or not, you've given him a personal allowance and he can spend it as he sees fit, it's his money.

I also agree with the poster above. Maybe you need to lower your wedding costs, he may be sitting there thinking why are we spending so much for one poxy day.

My fiance insists I control the money as he knows what he is like. If he didnt want me to handle the finances then he would say so. I think all in all, he has more personal spending than me. But I am going to keep all my reciepts this month & actually track what is spend to get an idea.
We are not spending alot on our wedding, and sorry its not a 'poxy' day to us. Our wedding will cost about £500 & the remaining of the cost is our holiday to Vegas which is an amazing experience in itself.

bazster

Sounds to me like a classic case of a laid-back, easy-going guy falling into the clutches of a control freak.

You give him pocket money as though he's just another child, and then you moan that he spends it!

This does not sound like a marriage made in heaven.