when you reach breaking point

savingqueen

gailey wrote: »

Thanks butterfly Brian-that,s useful.

I used to be really good at keeping full store cupboard just last 6months or so since dh started new job.Hes not had much holiday and hes the only driver so not been going food shopping as much or on great reduced hunt although reduced was getting scarce.I did few shops online .

But the cheaper ones aldis/lidls and farmfoods not online.

I worry if he gets pay rise next year will get even more money taken away in child benefit especially if rent and other things rise again.
It would be something silly like 1000payrise lose 2500cb.

I was so much better off as student.

sometimes having no money is always like being outside and looking in.

I just think some people so wasteful or maybe incurring more debts.

Its not that im jealous of others.
its more I struggle to comprehend how a middle income salary in uk goes not very far . I feel like uk is very very expensive place to live.
used to think growing up work hard would have something tow show for it but we dont.

well we have our 3lush kids who area great and they probably keep us positive as we work hard so they dont miss out on anything as they dont realise things are 2nd hand and we try occupy them with cheap/free days out, picnics and build memories.

But I do feel trapped by finacial circumstance at times.

really want to pass car test but cant afford lessons.
want to go back uni-retrain cant afford 9grand tuition fees.
want to return to work but employers want fully flexible which I cant be as no family locally and childcare expensive.

Will keep trying to find little part time job
selling what I can-ebay fees now shocking
surveys not earning much:(
quicdo not really spent or switched much this year so no dosh there.

Tried to save foodstamps but never happens
building store cupboard bit by bit seems better.

we use cloth nappies on baby
im still feeding him
do mostly home cooked.

debts-we pay full min-no dmps/iva in place we feel we owe them the money we need to get it paid back even if they do behave like sub humans at times.

I can see a distant light.

3years time loan ends. youngest starts school so less childcare costs.
hopefully hubby get promotion by then.
I keep thinking has to get better.

we lucky we paid lots of debts off in last few years its been hard but combine the debt busting with rising cost of living and decrease in income its a challenge.

Gailey - your post and posts from others really hit home for me. DH & I are in mid 40s with 2 boys aged 5 & 8 and 2 ageing cats. (40s with a 5 year old, mad eh? :eek:) DH has an average paying office job, long commute and at night school to improve qualifications. I have been a SAHM for 8 years (planned that way as thats what we both wanted but also due to cost of childcare, low local pay and no family nearby to help out amongst other reasons)

We have simple lives, not materialistic at all (just as well really!), shop round for everything, not proud to accept hand me downs, use charity shops etc, cooking more and more from scratch, baking more etc, make do and mend and generally as thrifty as we can be as you all know how to be. Usually I/we don't mind living like this - we have a cheap house in need of repair & updating as well as cosmetic stuff in a poor area (I say "shabby chic without the chic" or sometimes plain "shabby sh*t" excuse swearing but sometimes you just need to ) We have never had a proper week's holiday as a family (though managed lots of alternatives staying with family/friends, one night hotel stays, caravan break etc using clubcard rewards). Our car is a battered, scratched and scrapped 10 year old thing - but very glad to have it as generally reliable old workhouse. We don't do/buy expensive stuff and make things last as long as possible.

We are very lucky to have our little family, a few good friends, our 2 cats - surrounded by love. DH has work, we have no debts other than mortgage (resist temptation to take out loans for house repairs, prefer to scrimp and save and get there in the end, one project at a time), we have food on the table, warmth in the winter (lots of blankets feature!) and luxuries such as a car, PC, dishwasher, can buy kids Xmas and birthday pressies and arrange little trips and treats for them. Others much worse off I know but even so sometimes our situation get me down. Worst when I stupidly allow myself to compare our lives to others, that's fatal, then I find myself wanting all sorts! Its the lack of spontinaity (sorry too tired to look up spelling) thats gets me down at times, the turning down social invites - weddings etc as too expensive, making do all the time, not replacing things - when air con in car packed up, when shower packed up etc etc we just don't replace (not essentials I know but still). I've stopped dyeing my hair and learning to trim it myself, stopping going to the coffee shop, cut down on cards we send and pressies for adults at Xmas all stopped. I wonder how far we will need to go and indeed how far we can cut back if things get really tight (like DH being made redundant)

anyway have to go before DH comes down and reads this - try to stay positive rest of time for family's sake

take care
sq:)

Anyway

craigywv

savingqueen wrote: »

Gailey - your post and posts from others really hit home for me. DH & I are in mid 40s with 2 boys aged 5 & 8 and 2 ageing cats. (40s with a 5 year old, mad eh? :eek:) DH has an average paying office job, long commute and at night school to improve qualifications. I have been a SAHM for 8 years (planned that way as thats what we both wanted but also due to cost of childcare, low local pay and no family nearby to help out amongst other reasons)

We have simple lives, not materialistic at all (just as well really!), shop round for everything, not proud to accept hand me downs, use charity shops etc, cooking more and more from scratch, baking more etc, make do and mend and generally as thrifty as we can be as you all know how to be. Usually I/we don't mind living like this - we have a cheap house in need of repair & updating as well as cosmetic stuff in a poor area (I say "shabby chic without the chic" or sometimes plain "shabby sh*t" excuse swearing but sometimes you just need to ) We have never had a proper week's holiday as a family (though managed lots of alternatives staying with family/friends, one night hotel stays, caravan break etc using clubcard rewards). Our car is a battered, scratched and scrapped 10 year old thing - but very glad to have it as generally reliable old workhouse. We don't do/buy expensive stuff and make things last as long as possible.

We are very lucky to have our little family, a few good friends, our 2 cats - surrounded by love. DH has work, we have no debts other than mortgage (resist temptation to take out loans for house repairs, prefer to scrimp and save and get there in the end, one project at a time), we have food on the table, warmth in the winter (lots of blankets feature!) and luxuries such as a car, PC, dishwasher, can buy kids Xmas and birthday pressies and arrange little trips and treats for them. Others much worse off I know but even so sometimes our situation get me down. Worst when I stupidly allow myself to compare our lives to others, that's fatal, then I find myself wanting all sorts! Its the lack of spontinaity (sorry too tired to look up spelling) thats gets me down at times, the turning down social invites - weddings etc as too expensive, making do all the time, not replacing things - when air con in car packed up, when shower packed up etc etc we just don't replace (not essentials I know but still). I've stopped dyeing my hair and learning to trim it myself, stopping going to the coffee shop, cut down on cards we send and pressies for adults at Xmas all stopped. I wonder how far we will need to go and indeed how far we can cut back if things get really tight (like DH being made redundant)

anyway have to go before DH comes down and reads this - try to stay positive rest of time for family's sake

take care
sq:)

Anyway

i read your post in awe at it could have been me you were writing about everything except i only have 1 child a 9 yr old boy. stunned to be honest....i count my blessings i have what i have and when i do wander or see other people have nicer things i just think ...i wonder if their as happy as me. chin up and keep plodding on xxx:)

COOLTRIKERCHICK

LIR... I have a load of bib 'n' brace overalls, I sent some to Davesnave last year, I could send some to you to try ( sorry still havent send the door will book the delivery today)

threemuttleys

Oh well, S really hit the fan...after 4 brand new tyres last month (badly needed) OH's car failed its MOT yesterday, and had a lot of advisories (£££££)

So now (from somewhere) we have to buy a new car. I actually want to scream

Popperwell

threemuttleys wrote: »

Oh well, S really hit the fan...after 4 brand new tyres last month (badly needed) OH's car failed its MOT yesterday, and had a lot of advisories (£££££)

So now (from somewhere) we have to buy a new car. I actually want to scream

That's more than bad luck and typical...
Hope that you manage to find something suitable...

Pee

Could you put it through the MOT and then have longer to look for another car? (Depending on what the advisories are, but I have one on my car that I know will be a problem for the MOT next year but does not matter until then.) I've done a lot of buying a car in a hurry as one has failed the MOT and it means rushing into a difficult decision, in my mind.

Eitherway, I wish you luck with it.

I am ok, but OH is hardly working (builder) which means that we have gone from doing very well to managing ok although I am still worried because if I were to lose my job... It's a fear rather than a clear and present danger but I wiould like to have savings to fall back on, as a safety net, and I don't have that, so that makes me feel scared.

Someone posted about their OH only seeing them in their scruffs, very true, especially in the winter or when it is remotely cold, I will be in some unflattering slippers and dressing gown over scruffy old PJ's to keep work clothes clean and keep me warm. A recent sort out of clothes did make me realise I have some nice stuff that I never wear and I should make the effort to dress up, maybe with a nice home cooked meal for a date night.

threemuttleys

Pee wrote: »

Could you put it through the MOT and then have longer to look for another car? (Depending on what the advisories are, but I have one on my car that I know will be a problem for the MOT next year but does not matter until then.) I've done a lot of buying a car in a hurry as one has failed the MOT and it means rushing into a difficult decision, in my mind.

Eitherway, I wish you luck with it.

I am ok, but OH is hardly working (builder) which means that we have gone from doing very well to managing ok although I am still worried because if I were to lose my job... It's a fear rather than a clear and present danger but I wiould like to have savings to fall back on, as a safety net, and I don't have that, so that makes me feel scared.

Someone posted about their OH only seeing them in their scruffs, very true, especially in the winter or when it is remotely cold, I will be in some unflattering slippers and dressing gown over scruffy old PJ's to keep work clothes clean and keep me warm. A recent sort out of clothes did make me realise I have some nice stuff that I never wear and I should make the effort to dress up, maybe with a nice home cooked meal for a date night.

Its really not worth having any money thrown at it, the work is likely to cost in the region of £400, and in the mechanics opinion, it is not safe to drive (:eek:) Its a 13 year old Volvo, that we bought for £800 about two years ago. Other than new tyres and servicing, we havent needed to do anything else to it.

I am the same, with clothes. I wear skanky old jeans, and random bag lady t shirts around the house, god only knows what the OH thinks sometimes :rotfl:

COOLTRIKERCHICK

I just wear the same clothes 'wash 'n' wear attitude..

I am also starting to wear on of my old vintage aprons around the hosue now, hubby allways laughs at me, and give a funny look, but I dont give a monkeys:D

VJsmum

In the winter I come home from work, straight into PJs. I generally put on a sweatshirt of some kind over them though rather than a dressing gown. I have a small amount of sweatshirt / jumpers just for this - it feels a bit better than slobbing around in dressing gown.

OH can't complain though as he wears any old scruffy PJ's that generally look a sight.

My OH is in a job where the company are due to be taken over (big national company recently in the news ) and so the future is a bit of an unknown for us. And, whilst we won't starve, our income would be drastically reduced if he is made redundant - which is a distinct possibility.

I am very used to managing on little money, having been brought up in a household where money was scarce, but OH is not. i often feel that i save pennies, whilst he spends (sometimes hundreds of) pounds.

maryb

Had to smile about the ink, it brought back a memory of my mother telling me how when she was a schoolgirl in the 1920s, they had to wear black stockings from the age of 11 onwards. She loathed the constant darning but they were inspected for grooming and deportment every morning with black marks if there was an undarned hole. So black ink was in regular use (because it wasn't much more than a cursory check). However one morning she picked up a pot of indelible Indian Ink instead of normal fountain pen ink....... weeks later she was still scrubbing