Flying solo

dorothy52

Oh Robin, what a kind and caring friend you are; I am overwhelmed to hear how well you and one of your El Divos have cared for DF, he is indeed a very lucky person and hope that he appreciates all that you have done for him. Thank you for posting - I found it very humbling and educational (iyswim)

Is the nest ready for two more furry children? I will be surprised if you re home them.....I predict that in the next few days they will have their own initials and we will be reading of their adventures!

Fingers crossed that CD makes a full recovery

please-let-me-be-lucky

I also think you have done absolutely everything possible for DF, more than most would. You truly are a dear friend yourself.

Hope CD has perked up too Xx

HeadAboveWater

I always miss your diary when I'm away for a few days Robin. Always so much to catch up on and unfortunately not always good

Thanks for sharing about DF. I agree - sometimes things are maybe just too personal to put on an online forum, but like you say, if it helps someone else who is maybe dealing with something similar, then it's worth it.

Sorry to hear about CD! Get better very, very soon!

And welcome to your new furry friends!! Have you names yet??

*Robin*

Hello Diary and Dear MSE Friends, :hello:

Have zilched two previous attempts to post yesterday/today.

Our morning was very intense - wish I had a qualification in psychiatric medicine!
DF found his trip to the office harder than he'd anticipated; blaming the medication for his difficulties rather than his illness. Still, he took the pills when given them, under protest.
Having to have the same conversation about it over and again was exhausting.
CD took him for a walk - told DF not to let her off the lead so was as certain as could be that they would both return, which they did.

Then a visitor turned up. Lovely girl, but an alternative type. :cool: Very keen to expound the virtues of controlling symptoms with diet and lifestyle (eg. meditation).
Difficult. Can't stop anyone else from offering support and opinions, whether or not they line up with my own thoughts. I did try to say: Fair enough to attempt that - when starting from a position of equilibrium and if willing to listen to those who care, in case it doesn't work..

But DF would rather go with this lass's ideas - has been refusing his meds since she left.
Had to tell him: His choice whether to take meds or not, but if not he can't stay here; will have to go into hospital for a while. There is a limit to what an untrained carer can do; must admit am now feeling somewhat uneasy - wondering if I can stay awake until DS1 comes to take DF to his next appointment in the morning? Will have to go too in case DF tries to grab the steering wheel again. Not looking forward to it.

Thank you for your posts, Missrlr, Granny, Dot, B.Lucky, and HAW. Interesting that a majority have found themselves touched by someone with a mental heath issue (Lucky you're living it too although the direct cause of DH's difficulties is very different).

A broken leg is easy, isn't it? Everyone can see the cast and the crutches, and knows help is needed with mobility issues for a short while - after which the patient will be fine once the cast is removed.
Hidden illnesses are more difficult; it is harder to be sympathetic towards someone who looks perfectly ordinary.
When such a person does and says things that are weird, it's hardly surprising they often end up isolated..


Kittens will not be gaining initials and amusing us all with their antics. This afternoon we waved them off into the much safer care of a local rescue centre who have homes waiting, once they're weaned. May they live long and prosper!
Tbh it's a huge relief - they survived.

Shall make a decision before leaving, as to whether it will be possible to take CD back to the vet as well as going to DF's appointment. She has very little appetite; am pondering just how long she's been giving most of her food to Fat Dog (who is getting fatter - was beginning to wonder why)? :cool:

satchmo1

oh Robin, curse the damage the alternative person has done, just when DF was beginning to stabilise with the meds.

Like Lucky, I lived with a DH who sustained brain damage in a car accident. Unlike Lucky, our marriage didn't survive, as DH deteriorated and I had to end the marriage. It is still something I mourn, but he was a very physically strong man. Two low points included 1) decimating our home-office (tearing out fitted furniture and ceiling panels); 2) punching our 15-yr-old son (that was when he was given a suitcase and marching orders).

I think society's attitude to MH is based on fear that it is contagious by association, that's the only way I can see how the broken-leg analogy works (i.e. broken legs aren't contagious).

Anyway, dear friend, you must ensure you are safe, and that you remember that your own health will suffer due to exhaustion. For what it's worth, I think you need another person in situ full time if DF is to stay. I am very concerned that you aren't having any rest and poor quality sleep. I am glad, for your physical sake, that the kittens are now elsewhere.

CD is as clever as they come, but needs quiet and supervision in order to recover. No kittens and no exhausted/poorly/distracted mistress

Sending you my love xx

missrlr

Oh flipping heck! I know there is so much that can be done diet wise with those who are basically level (didn't want to use "well" as that is wrong) and meditation certainly helps once you get the knack of it (have been practising and getting some help with that myself) but realistically if the situation demands chemical intervention for you and those physically and emotionally close to you then these things place are further down the line.

And the cheeky so and so disappears off having wrecked havoc doesn't get to see the fruits of her musings! I get very cross with people who do this, very rude.

Please take care of you, if it means DF has to go elsewhere then so be it. CD would probably benefit from some more v.e.t attention perhaps some meds and a blood test to chock out matters physical?

Hope all goes well with you and you weather this storm in good health.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Some sound advice from Satchmo and missrlr!

Robin, you are a wonderful person and a marvellous friend, but you need to put yourself first on occassions. I do what I do for DH to a certain extent because he is my 'responsibility'. You have already done more than necessary for your DF so please do not worry if there comes a time when you must hand over his care to the professionals (not to the alternative types though :eek:).

Satchmo, they would be my breaking points too Xx

grannyx2

Excellent advice from all the above and I have to say I too am concerned about your health with all this going on.

I agree it is so much easier to know how to care for visible illnesses and very hard to pick up the pieces when some well meaning person offers their view point.

I think you were very wise to inform him of the outcome of his decision not to listen to the professionals. That cannot have been easy for you.

Love, well wishes and support as always

Granny x

Hope CD is feeling a bit better today x

dorothy52

Oh my dear friend, you have so got your hands full. I can only agree with all our friends on here, you really owe it to yourself and CD to put yourselves first for all your sakes, yet I so admire what you have, and continue to do for DF. Shame about the feline furry children, and yet they have gone to loving homes which is so nice for them.

I am very concerned for you, Robin, as are we all. We know how exhaustion impacts so negatively on you, particularly as you have ME. However I know that you will do what feels right and we must all respect that. Take care and I so hope that CD is feeling better soon xx

Clever_Dog

Hello Friends in the box!

My turn today. Mistress looks bedraggled* she's gone back to bed. Box is playing quiet music for her.
Just Mistress and us dogs here today; Big Man stayed in the city where we all went yesterday.

I am getting Mistress trained up at last. How many years has she fed us on those strange hard balls? I am fed up with it. When I don't eat them she gives me chicken. At first it was only every few days but now Mistress has started seeing I don't like the balls she has got a BIG box of chicken - all for me and Fatty! (Don't mind sharing with FatDog, she's my mate - helps me get rid of those nasty balls ).

Uh oh, Mistress just talked on the 'phone. About me - tomorrow I've got to have 'photos taken of my insides - how is Mistress going to do that?! :eek:

Now Mistress is awake, FatDog is asking for lunch. I'd better go and make sure Mistress chooses the fridge not the bucket of balls; it's quite easy now she's learned to respond to my prompt - I just open the fridge door! :rotfl:

* new word for today - what Mistress called me after I went fishing in the river.