Flying solo

*Robin*

Good morning Diary, :hello:

Spent yesterday in the garden, close to the ground - literally - as I weeded a different terrace in preparation for planting (decided the first one is in too much danger of further rock falls if more big storms arrive before someone who can rebuild the wall properly - am not going to attempt that m'self as ME + large rocks + steep hillside is not a good combination ).

I have to sit on the earth when weeding or planting; a very good place from which to contemplate the universe. During a tea-break, I found out about a friend of a friend whose wife is a lawyer in a firm that specialise in family matters, including Probate for foreigners. Contact has been made; this lady is confident she can steer me in the right direction to sort out DH's estate.

I also shifted a chunk of Tenant One's rent into a high interest account - now mentally re-labelled 'Death Duty Savings'.

Out walking, I found lots of ripe mangoes and avocados that had been blown down in the storms. Free for the picking up; yummy, the best kind of food! Cooked a couple of the mangoes last night, they make an amazing sauce that goes well with everything I've tried so far; meat, fish and veg. Yesterday's basic mix was enlivened by a few early wild asparagus spears also found on the hillside - they're difficult to harvest but well worth the effort.

While my sauce was simmering, I finally started going through DH's drawers. Bagging up the decent stuff which I'll put in the van and drop off next time Daft Dogs and I go to the beach. Found a couple of large tarps too, which will be more useful to the illegals than taking up room in the shed.

Had an enquiry from someone who wants to rent/borrow a house for their family to stay in on holiday. ..Must go and see what state DH's cottages are in very soon!

NewLeaf_2

I am so sorry to hear abour BD but glad tou made thefence safe so he can go outside. Sending love

*Robin*

Hello Diary and MSE friends, :hello:

It is a beautiful day; blue skies and sunshine, the temperature is a very pleasant 18'C or so. The scent of lemon-wood-smoke from a neighbour's bonfire drifts in the still air, and I can hear a chorus of bird-song all around.

For days like this, it's worth putting up with the disadvantages of living in the middle of no-where that anybody's heard of.

Yesterday I got the veggie terrace cleaned off, up to the few surviving plants from last year; four aubergine bushes which appear to be thriving; they even have small fruit on! (Don't know whether this is a phenomenon of the peculiar weather; can't remember aubergines growing into a second year before?).

I should probably be going out today, waving official pieces of paper at local functionaries, but am not going to.
Instead, another afternoon in the garden beckons; after giving Terrace Two a dusting of wood ash and forking over, I'm going to plant out my little broad bean seedlings which have already outgrown their seed-trays. If there's any room left I'll start a second batch which will produce pods a month later - am sooo looking forward to eating my own organic home-grown food, after having had to leave before most of the veggies matured last year (family kept the garden going and benefited, thank goodness ).

NewLeaf wrote: »

I am so sorry to hear about BD but glad you made the fence safe so he can go outside. Sending love

Thank you for your good wishes, NewLeaf - am holding you in my thoughts and sending healing vibes too. :lovethoug

Blind Dog seems quite happy most of the time; he wanders slowly around the area that I've made safe for him, and is looking a lot better than when I collected him. Am really not sure how much of his problems now are the normal effect of ageing, and how much the result of not being treated kindly. The latter I can hope to change to improve his quality of life, the former I cannot.

He is eating very well - loves his food - think he is putting on some weight now that his dinner is better quality (though he's still very thin). He washes himself, is remembering the layout of obstacles, and enjoys a cuddle (when he's in the mood). But his hips are very stiff and his back end is a bit wobbly; it's obvious that he's not enjoying the process of lying down, especially during the hours before his next pill is due.

If this course of pills doesn't work, he can't keep taking them. A steroid injection could be worth a try if BD continues to appear to enjoy his life, but may only have short-term benefits. The only other long-term medication available has unpleasant side-effects. It's also very expensive.

Anyway, I'll talk to the vet again soon, and meanwhile am doing what I can for BD at home; love, good food, warmth, supplements and 'erbs. He's undoubtedly in the evening of his life, but whether that is measured in days, weeks or months, I'll do my best to repay his loyalty and companionship - he has been a noble, dignified guardian who deserves comfort and contentment if I can give them to him.

dorothy52

Oh *Robin*, I cried reading the last sentence and your wonderful description of BD. I agree with so many of your readers, your prose is a delight to read, and I have been reading since the beginning. Just wanted to pop out of lurkdom to wish you well, I suspect that you have many, many more 'admirers' than you are aware of.

Much love

Dot

*Robin*

Hello Diary and friends, and welcome to Dot, :hello:

It is the turn of the UK to be battered by storms and floods; I feel for everyone who is affected.. Seems this experience is going around the world at the moment; maybe we all need to be more aware, and in awe, of the powers of nature - which are almost certainly being affected by human activities. Anyone who doubts that and is really bored might spend an instructive hour or two reading about the changing weather patterns pre- and post-industrial revolution.
Meanwhile what's happening in New York? And Cuba - which took an almost un-reported pasting in the same storm. Haiti has still still not recovered from Katrina - why do we not hear about people's continuing struggle after the paparazzi have moved on to a fresh disaster or scandal?

Sorry. Despite spending a wonderful couple of hours in the garden, I am in pensive mood.
However, no less than ninety-four little broad bean plants lined up in Terrace Two attest to my productivity, and I also found a corner to pop in a dozen onion sets, a couple of cauliflower plantlets, half a dozen cut-and-come-again lettuces and four ordinary ones. Which is a good start and very satisfying.

Am beginning to wonder if I can make this place work by myself, though. What was fun with two people to share the practical tasks, is becoming an endless list of things that should have been done yesterday.. Do not often wish I could turn back time thirty years, but am exhausted and everything is aching now; don't expect to achieve much more today - oh, to have the strength and energy now that I used to be able to call up in pre-ME days!

dorothy52 wrote: »

Oh *Robin*, I cried reading the last sentence and your wonderful description of BD.

Aww, thank you for your kind words, Dot. But please do not shed tears for my dear old Blind Dog; he has had many years living with people who love him, and his pack of fellow dogs as well. He has been a lucky fellow really, and you may be sure I'll do my best to make his last days as good as possible.

In fact he's better again today than he was yesterday - moving faster, which has led to a bumped nose when he misjudged the doorway by six inches, but he didn't seem to mind. He started 'talking' again last night - in fact he's doing it now - it's tea-time for Daft Dogs, so I'd better go and get it together. He's got rice, chicken and avocado today, as the pills are beginning to have the noted side-effect of upsetting his tummy a bit.

I've decided to take BD back to the vet as soon as he's finished his course of pills - so hopefully will be as mobile as possible because he'll have to negotiate the steps and walk at least a kilometre, plus tolerate the ride into town and back.
Am not looking forward to lifting him into the van; even though BD's very under-weight there's still a good twenty kilos of him which is more than I can manage without suffering afterwards.
(Just had a thought; maybe he would walk up a ramp? Hmm, will have to see what I can find in the shed )

satchmo1

Hi Robin

I put a home-made ramp on my kitchen doorstep for my aged Westie, who is also almost blind. It's just a piece of wood, with a rubber car mat nailed on to stop it being slippy in the wet. It works a treat.

Satchmo x

dorothy52

I think the ramp is a splendid idea. I loved the way you described what BD meant to you. We had to have our 12 yr old put to sleep last year, and tbh it hit me harder than losing both my parents, that sounds awful, doesn't it? He was such a good lad, and was such good company once the kids grew up and left home. I let him linger longer than I should have, selfish I know, it was almost as if I was prolonging his suffering so that I could postpone mine.

I think that what you are doing is amazing, Robin, particularly given your illness, I really do admire you and will continue to read and quietly support you through this difficult time, as will all your MSE friends, I am sure.

*Robin*

Hello Diary and MSE friends, and thank you for joining in Satchmo, :hello:

satchmo1 wrote: »

I put a home-made ramp on my kitchen doorstep for my aged Westie, who is also almost blind. It's just a piece of wood, with a rubber car mat nailed on to stop it being slippy in the wet. It works a treat.

At first thought that sort of thing sounds just the job to solve my problem, until I looked at the height and angles required. A piece of wood long enough to let BD walk at a reasonable incline up to just over a metre off the ground is going to be a hefty weight, and may not fit into the back of the van. Which would mean I'd still have to lift BD in and out at the vet's - plus have to drag the ramp about eighty metres every time we need to use it at home, and it would block the road as it must fit on the side door, not at the back. Hmm.
To be honest, it sounds like a lot of effort for something that may only be needed a few times (or once, if the vet says that BD has reached the end of his road ).

A better solution would be a winch and sling - like they use on rescue helicopters. But apart from the cost and hassle of getting such kit, I suspect that the experience of being swung into the air, even for a few seconds, would terrify BD - so that's out.

I do now think the simplest option - a strong, willing bloke who can lift BD - is my best bet.
Hmm again; as I've said before, all 'my' young men are working so unfortunately won't be available to help at a time when the vet's clinic is open.

I wonder how much Dear Vet would charge to come to us? Trouble is, I could only ask her to do that once, which has certain implications. :think:
Unless she is willing to advise just on talking to me about BD for the next three weeks, until DS4 arrives?
:think: I also need to talk to her about Fat Dog, whose breath suggests strongly that it's time for a dental. And DH's Dog - who is much less arthritic than she was a month ago - is also due for a 'revision'.
This is going to swallow the rest of Tenant One's rent and more - time to start another saving pot, methinks.

dorothy52 wrote:

I loved the way you described what BD meant to you. We had to have our 12 yr old put to sleep last year, and tbh it hit me harder than losing both my parents, that sounds awful, doesn't it? He was such a good lad, and was such good company once the kids grew up and left home. I let him linger longer than I should have, selfish I know, it was almost as if I was prolonging his suffering so that I could postpone mine.

Ah Dot, I had the feeling you first posted because of your own experience; am so sorry to read that you too have been through this with a beloved companion, it does hurt terribly, doesn't it? The responsibility of having to make that decision to let go is what sets a pet apart from any human loss which happens naturally - I do understand - and don't think you are awful to have been so affected by it.


Last night I dreamed DH was here with us, sitting in his favourite chair with BD at his feet. DH didn't say anything to me, he just looked at me as he stroked BD, who was pushing his head into DH's hands.

I awoke to the sound of BD crying at the door; those ruddy pills are really affecting his gut now, so today began with cleaning up again.
Once I'd sorted it out and got my first cuppa of the day, BD came and leaned on me, asking to have his ears cuddled - just as he'd been doing with DH in my dream..

He's moving better again today, and definitely has more flesh over his ribs and buttocks. There are two more pills in the packet. :think:

dorothy52 wrote:

I think that what you are doing is amazing, Robin, particularly given your illness, I really do admire you and will continue to read and quietly support you through this difficult time, as will all your MSE friends, I am sure.

Dear Dot thank you for these words, but I'm not amazing, just stubborn.
Are these 'difficult times' - when is Life not so?
The Creator gives every one of us a series of lessons or challenges in our lives; all we can do is tackle each one as we watch the years pass.
Giving in is not an option I'm prepared to contemplate - that goes against all my beliefs.

Sometimes I do really regret the ME and wonder what I might have done and become, had it not been one of the Creator's challenges for me - years before it was recognised as a 'real' illness (which means I'll never be rid of it, though these days people who are diagnosed quickly do have a good chance of complete recovery).

NewLeaf_2

Robin take Dot's compliment. You are amazing given everything you have been through and all your medical conditions. xx

*Robin*

Good morning Diary,

Everything feels grey today. Last night I had another look at the finances, bearing in mind the fact that I've got three elderly dogs who are going to be running up bills - which I'd not really accounted for earlier. (DH and I gave up with their insurance when the premiums went over £100 pcm, which I still think was the right decision as there were so many exclusions that it would not have helped me now).

My debt has increased since leaving 'UK Home' although I do have some money put by for DH's Death Duties (but not enough).
It's also getting close to the date that the tax-man will be expecting a contribution, though I've no idea how much as I haven't done my books for last year yet. (Am now very grateful that the wild idea of buying a 4x4 came to nought - am going to need the funds that would have gone on repayments for it).

Xmas spending is <£500 [so far]; family gifts and charity donations.
Comestible stocks are good, due to over-buying in case of being cut off by bad weather.

A positive: DH had a separate internet contract which the provider refused to cancel as it is within the first year. Following eloquent representations by DS3 they have changed their minds; putting over £300 back into the kitty.

Another positive: DH's local bank is allowing his DDs to keep running (to use up the balance in the account). This means I don't have to worry about electricity or water bills, or the annual 'house tax' on any of the cottages, for at least another year.

Still, I need to collect NSDs; stay away from the shops and press on with growing [and finding] as much of my own fresh food as possible.

On the home front, BD had another accident last night. At least tiled floors make it easy to clean up, and it's not his fault - pretty inevitable with the medication he's on, but not a good way to start the day for me.
:think: