Flying solo

*Robin*

Hello Diary and Dearest Friends-in-the-Box, :hello:

Thank you to everyone who has popped in, and welcome to the Nest, Sparky - you have no idea how much all your support means to me.. :T

Had lots of problems with technology recently, eclipsed by RL issues which released Black Dog to chew at any handy extremity - feeling somewhat battered tbh.

Did write a long update when:
A) Month changed = internet started working 'properly'. (**Haha see below).
Gave up on 'my' lappy which has forgotten what a power supply is for, and started using DH's (-like a brand new machine since DS2 installed L!nux).
C) Guilt overcame natural reluctance to post when the only news was depressing.

You didn't get to read said update however, because DS3 zilched it - causing a huge row as it felt like the last straw (given that several weeks' worth of other work was lost at the same time).

Have been publically slated in RL for personal opinion on various topics several times recently, only for the main protagonist to come back later and say "Oh actually, you were right!"
..And then want help picking up the pieces.

Most difficult of these disputes is that am being pressured to host a relation with MH issues; close family fed up with his behaviour, pointing to success with Roger - seem to reckon it's my obligation to step up (they are running out of options - just want anyone else to take responsibility).
Trouble is, the chap's attitude. He's being paid handsomely by the state for his "mad" status - his word and proud of it. Every so often he accidentally on purpose 'forgets' to take his meds, leading to official reprobation - but it keeps ATOS off his back. Last thing he wants is to have to get a job, pay the rent on his nice £250K home and be in charge of his own destiny..

Honestly don't think I have the strength to support this person, it would be a fight from start to finish because his views are just too far opposed..
Roger was so different; desperate to understand his problem, take control of it, get well and back to work as soon as possible (all successfully achieved ).
So a whole branch of blood family hate me.
Can feel it, an angry boiling cloud pressing down all the time..

MH issues abound: GF2 is back in hospital. Divo Two says he's ok, but sounds rattled. Wish he was within reach of RL hugs..

DS3 is another worry; been arguing with him too. He flatly refuses to re-book the dermatology appointment, considering it of little importance compared to another Life-Lesson he's mired in atm.
I disagree of course, so the subject is deadlocked. But meanwhile we are still able to spend time together without the argument spilling over, thank goodness.

Suppose it was hardly surprising that I've been making mistakes in other areas; really must learn to stay away from the Temples of Mamon when feeling low. Bottom line came to £260, a freezer stuffed full when am supposed to be emptying it, and a wasted half tank of fuel.

Divo Three organised a slight dent in freezer stocks by cooking us a Sunday feast, because DGS had asked to come and visit.
Bless the child, he's a natural omnivore in a very veggie household, so a meal featuring some kind of meat is definitely an expected attraction when visiting Granny Robin. DGS tucked into an adult-sized portion of roast lamb and sausages [and other 'boring' normal veggie stuff, lol] with gusto, but his real reason for wanting to visit was to say thanks for the swimming pool, which he'd 'christened' the previous day.
..Such a difference between DGS and DSGDs - neither of whom bothered to acknowledge their birthday gifts! The four year old really put the eighteen and twenty-one year old to shame - the girls' mother was mortified when she found out. :cool:
(Well, that's two off Robin's extended-family gift list - so be it; fine).

Positive news: The Nest's new gardener is busy strimming off all the dried meadow grasses (which are a fire hazard if left over the summer). He's going to keep everything ticking over while CD and I are away, doubtless while making plans for expensive horticultural improvements on our return. Fine.
Better yet, following a visit to company-HQ last week - when Boss found himself obliged to shake my hand agreeing to a definite date - Irrigation Man and his mate finally turned up yesterday. :T
They have spread pipe all around the garden and installed sensors - so in theory the water tank will refill itself when it gets down to 300lts - but they've not yet connected the pipework for delivering water to each tree. They didn't turn up today; thunderstorms are forecast - Andaluz men appear to be genetically allergic to rain, so maybe their absence was predictable? ..Ought to have twigged when they asked for a bucket to put [upturned] over an exposed electronics box (part of the work in progress).

** Major problems getting on line; had to cobble together various bits of obsolete kit to get a router working, and may have set up a completely new account? Will find out when the bill goes out..
Am constantly wondering how long the bodge will last, so better post before something else goes wrong. If am lucky and it doesn't, then hoping for a long-overdue visit around your diaries to see how Life has been treating everyone recently..

Knit_Witch

Oh blimey! Hugs coming your way (along with tail wags from The Cairns of the House)

Skint_but_Optimistic

Glad you are back. Sorry you are having a bad time of it xx xx

missrlr

Well, what an update!
Sorry you have been battered about recently seems very unfair. So as always your assessment of the situation seems spot on. So sorry you are having to say the unwanted that someone realises they are on to a good thing and so lack motivation to change.
Hope trip planning goes ok and you make it back soon.
Do take care of you and continue to be a little protective (not selfish) of your needs
Xx

satchmo1

The only way to answer request to house/nurse ML person, is along the lines of "I'm sorry, it's just not possible" on repeat until they get the message. Your own health should be prioritised.


Sorry to hear all the ongoing diva-ishness going on right now for you.


I wish I wasn't battling an issue between my DS's that is all the responsibility of DS2 who had the barefaced cheek to say "he knew his rights". Sorry lad, but rights come with responsibilities and if you don't man up to said responsibilities then "rights" become a moot point.

grannyx2

Glad to hear from you but sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment. You have to put your own sanity first my dear friend and if those blood relatives think differently, they really aren't worth worrying about.

Lots of hugs and happy thoughts

Granny x

patanne

de-lurking again just to say. When you helped Roger you were helping someone who wanted to help themselves. Someone who is a professional benefit claimant is not a good use of your energies. Frankly I think the relatives are looking for someone else to blame for their lack of "good outcome" so far. Someone who is happy to live on benefits is definitely not a good use of your time. Please avoid getting involved, I know you want to help because it is in your makeup to do that, but again please don't.

alioops78

Good grief Robin it always seems to be all at once for you.

As for the MH person, surely if professional services can't get said person to want to help themselves then what are you meant to do differently other than provide a holiday home for them. As for Roger as you say he wanted to get himself to a point of being able to work and even that wasn't as straight forward as hoped for.

Sometimes you have to be selfish and just look after yourself for once and s0d anyone else's opinions.

There's a reason for the saying you can choose your friends but not your family.

Hope that things calm down for you and that the black dog stays away.

Brightspark87

Hi Robin.

You have such a big heart, and sometimes because you arent afraid to speak your mind because you care people dont want to hear it.

Good luck with all the issues you have going on at the moment, we are all here for you x

*Robin*

Hello World, :hello:

Lots of visitors again - thank you so much everyone for dropping in. :T

DFw - So you're another one who wanders about outside semi-clad? ..Shall we start an exclusive club? :rotfl:

Sparky - Oh dear; so sorry you were moved to tears by reading Flying Solo! ..Wasn't my intention to upset anyone by sharing this journey - but, if it's motivated you on your MSE path then that's great to hear! :beer:
CD is more interested in chasing fast, squeaky little beasts which impose in her territory, than wearing out her nose on laptop keys at the moment, but I too hope she decides to update again in the not too distant future.

Lucky - thanks for popping in, especially as you are so busy.
Am ok, just tend not to post when only depressing news comes out - broken that 'ban' - for now, thank goodness.

SbO - thanks for giving me a chuckle; there are far too many wobbly bits around the midriff for anyone to consider yours truly "eye candy"! :rotfl:
..As predicted, Nicest Neighbour was a perfect gentleman and did not refer to the incident when we next met. Phew.

Kissjenn - how lovely to see you visiting the Nest; here, you take the comfiest chair (in the shade, with the best sea-view ). Hope you're not feeling too zonked out by your meds (((hugs))).

Was proud of m'self for not only fixing, but making the shredder work better than when it was new. Not sure that the time lost to after-effects of using the fibre-glass chemicals was a great investment, but it's done now.
Just wish my talents extended to book-keeping..

Chev - Am willing to pay for DS3's appointment because he's too wound up in another emotional storm to do anything about it himself. Anyway, he refuses to re-book it. I've said my piece, there's nothing else I can do - but this is my child at risk (even though he's a grown man). It's hard to keep m' mouth shut on the subject as we meet daily atm, but I know it wouldn't help - heart-breaking though it is for me, he has to make the decision himself.

Sun.A - Hi, how are you getting on?
Ah, the 400€. Think that was a mistake on Divo Three's part. Apparently he was hoping I'd put the equivalent into his UK a/c; a kind of rolling loan - don't really understand, tbh. Did give him a 'float' before he went to Asia, but all the lads got a contribution; wasn't expecting it back.
Still. It made my figures last month look much better, lol.

Knit Witch - thanks for hugs and doggy cheerfulness.
How are you getting on with all your projects? Hope your health is improving, now that summer is upon us.

Missrlr - thanks for thinking of me, sorry wasn't around for a while..
My 'assessment of the situation' was as you say, unpopular - but I can't give you the other side of the story because I simply don't understand that PoV. The explosive reaction suggests my stance is ridiculous - maybe they're right, I just don't know?

Satchmo - Yes; no-one is much use to anyone else if they allow their health to be destroyed in the process..
Am stalling - see latest news below. Plans to be elsewhere may be an acceptable 'excuse' - we'll see. :cool:

Sorry to hear you're afflicted by diva-ishness too..
They really missed a trick when drafting the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, by omitting a few articles detailing Human Responsibilities as part of it!

Granny thanks for your support. Am getting creaky enough to be selfish in this, I think.
Hope you're getting more mobile now - happy thoughts to you too!

Patanne - thanks for de-lurking again to share such a wonderfully apt description:
Professional benefit claimant.
That's exactly what this relative is!
Think his close family just want a break; for him to be far, far away from them so that his actions won't disrupt their every waking thought. If he were here, they wouldn't be continually waiting for the next call to go and clear up his latest [STRIKE]mess[/STRIKE] disaster.
Thanks for 'seeing' me clearly enough to recognise that it would be to my detriment to get involved this time. It helps to know not everyone thinks I'm shirking familial responsibility.. :grouphug:

Alioops - thanks for popping in; you're right, my life is either utterly manic or so quiet I forget what day of the week it is..
Also right that a holiday with minders is what PBC's branch of the family expect (which is not an idea any of our family here are happy with, as there would just be a load of hassle for us, without any possibility of a good outcome; as in, this man would get well, find a job etc).
Either that or his close family are hoping the MH services here will spot something the NHS hasn't, and prescribe a successful treatment regime. Which is possible; can't say I have much faith in the MH hospital concerned (had previous experience / fights with the same team, re different patients).
Anyway, just found out PBC has to answer for his latest misdeeds at the end of the month - there's absolutely no way any of the family here would collude in PBC jumping bail - that's non negotiable and he knows it.
..Not at all happy this relative's life has got so out of control, but the result of his behaviour has given yours truly some breathing space. :cool: