Flying solo

missrlr

Oh good on DS4 hope the rest and paracetamol help.
Time enough for a few bites tomorrow

debtfreewannabe321

I hope you're feeling better today Robin xxx

*Robin*

Hello Diary and Dear, Supportive MSE Friends, :hello:

Thanks for your good wishes, Sun.A, Lucky, Granny, Missrlr and DFw. :T

..They must have worked; woke up feeling much brighter today.

Still, have to report a complete failure on FMT yesterday; just couldn't focus and read, let alone organise anything.
DS4 was working outside in the drizzle; chopped up most of the logs which were too big to fit in the stove (so can put off one expense for a few more weeks :T).
Then he finished digging out a new flower bed in front of the patio - which promptly filled with water as the rain was getting heavier. Hmm; might require more thought - possibly a run of guttering attached to a water-butt? :cool:

Was not an NSD because DS2 came round pleading poverty. GF has already moved to the Capital, leaving him cashless because she accidentally booked her ticket for a journey in the wrong direction, so had to buy another at the station (lost 80% of the money on her first purchase). :wall:

It was an uncomfortable conversation for us both (as anticipated ). DS2 wasn't quite sure why they overspent so much over xmas, but said they'd taken GF's parents and adult daughter out for several expensive meals, including one in another city over a hundred miles away which they'd made a special journey for! :eek:
He also said they'd spent a lot entertaining DGD - but could only give one example of an excursion (which I'd given DGD spending-money for, and it was on the way to collect GF's daughter anyway. So DGD only had a short while to enjoy the attractions before they went to meet GFD's flight ).

We didn't discuss their xmas gift expenditure - a subject which probably should be aired, but with delicacy.

Did find out a bit more about DS2 & GF's plans. She has started work in a family business and is staying with a sibling while saving up to rent a flat. DS2 is looking after her half dozen cats at DH's cottage until he has saved his share for this flat, and they would then like to continue storing most of her possessions in the big cottage when DS and cats join her in their new home.

The latter will not be happening - told DS it really isn't fair because nobody else will be able to use the place (it's chokablok, as is the little cottage where they've dumped most of the original furniture - which is why DS4 has been floating between the Nest and Divo One's house during his current visit).
Was then asked to transport all GF's stuff to the Capital when they've secured a flat, which would take at least three journeys. Pointed out that a commercial removal firm would be more appropriate, but DS2 said they couldn't afford it! :wall:

Dear Friends, you would have been proud of the way I bit my tongue. Am beginning to feel very concerned about this relationship, but really don't want to alienate DS2 by being too critical - he says GF makes him happier than he's been for years, and she is very good with DGD.

The biggest problem I have with DS & GF moving so far away, is that it is even further from the town where DGD lives. When asked how they would maintain access visits, DS said GF had suggested DGD could go on the coach** - an eight hour journey each way! :eek: :mad: :wall:

DGD's Mum is - quite rightly - never going to allow her nine year old daughter to make such long trips unaccompanied; tbh I don't think DS has spoken to her about it. She will be furious - especially as she's changing jobs in the summer, moving closer to this area.

**At the moment DS drives to collect DGD, but his car just failed it's technical inspection. GF doesn't think it's worth paying for the repair, because she says a car is useless in the Capital so DS should sell it for whatever he can get. :mad:

..Anyone see the same pattern I'm looking at here?
I really did very well by not letting rip at DS2 last night. Even gave him all the cash in my wallet. Hopefully most of it will find it's way to the electrician as his wages - bit of a test, tbh.

<sigh> And I've got to disappoint Clever Dog; intended to go out and replenish both her supplies of chicken and my wallet, but it's too wet - only one truck and a 4x4 have driven past today so it would be foolhardy to risk the slippery hill.
Oh great; the local explosives expert just started firing silver iodide rockets into the clouds - to try and increase rainfall - it's like being on Salisbury plain during a tank exercise!
..Ooer - it's working! (Definitely not going out today - rain is hammering down now!).

FMT awaits..

debtfreewannabe321

Oh Robin :shocked: at DS2!! Well done for being so controlled in yourself and not letting rip at him (not sure I could have/ would have done the same thing :mad::o) I hope that cash does make it's way to the electrician for your sake!


You've a local explosives expert :eek:?? I hope the rain slows down soon. It's been chucking it down here all night but is clearing up finally! Dukie won't go for a walk when it's raining :rotfl:he's hidden up in my bedroom sleeping so I hope it stops completely before the school run :cool:

So glad you're feeling better today though :T

please-let-me-be-lucky

You are very restrained re DS2. I hope he doesn't disappoint.

:eek: to 9 year olds making 8 hour coach trips alone :eek: Xx

grannyx2

Think you did very well to keep your calm with DS, really does sound like GF is ruling the relationship and at cost to others

It's really difficult getting them to see the error of their ways and how it can't all be so one sided. I know because my DS is often the same

Hope the weather clears for you soon, it's pretty appalling here too

Granny x

missrlr

Oh my. DS2 is not making some clear decisions with every one else in mind here is he! But flipping heck that has been dining some serious alarm bells going on for me. Do hope you can have a conversation with him. And soon. For everyone's sake. She might make him happy but sounds so controlling then how happy will he be? And she isn't that good with DGD if she thinks an 8 hour trip is ok. Just my outspoken opinion there
Best of luck with that one!

Sun_Addict

Hi Robin glad you're feeling better. In my experience DS's and DD's never take on board any advice regarding GF's and BF's. Let them make their own mistakes. I must admit I was the same with my mum once upon a time - although she didn't like Mr SA at first so proved her wrong there! Can't believe someone is trying to control the weather - scary stuff! Unseasonably mild where I am - no rain either so maybe you've got our weather! As beanie would say - keep plodding!

amber03

Don't you sometimes wish all your kids where little again and the worst arguments you had with them is what time was bedtime. No matter what age they are, you will still worry about them. Usually I find its easier to step back, let them make the mistakes and then go pick them up and be there for them.xx

*Robin*

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

Oh Robin :shocked: at DS2!! Well done for being so controlled in yourself and not letting rip at him (not sure I could have/ would have done the same thing :mad::o) I hope that cash does make it's way to the electrician for your sake!

..You've got all this to come, DFw, on the other side of raging teenage-hormone-fuelled angst (Sorry!).
Once our little darlings have morphed into hulking adults, the whole relationship must change to survive: DS2 would not have accepted what I felt like saying.
In a way giving him more cash is a little test; will soon see how much mess he's really in financially. Trust seemed important for the relationship between us - this time anyway.

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

You've a local explosives expert :eek:??

Oh yes; one of the Mayor's 'useful chaps'. He also wields the municipal digger with panache, tends hanging baskets on the church, cuts back roadside weeds and arranges festival decorations (including fireworks ).

Today he let off four short but loud barrages - which appeared to be very effective.
CD couldn't decide whether it was safer under the bed or wrapped round my feet, but definitely wasn't interested in the W word.

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

I hope the rain slows down soon. It's been chucking it down here all night but is clearing up finally! Dukie won't go for a walk when it's raining :rotfl: he's hidden up in my bedroom sleeping so I hope it stops completely before the school run :cool:

Hope that where you are, the rain eased off in time for you to collect kids and walk Duke without getting drenched.