Is it acceptable to be sworn at by a supervisor?

falko89

I hate always posting here about my issues at work but I do so as when I ask my family when ever their is a crisis you get either "I don't know" or "pull yourself together man" neither helpful and I get some decent advice on here.

I won't go over what I've already posted in the past, but week by week my things seem to go from bad to worse and I am at the end of my tether to be honest, I am not sleeping at night, I am a nervous wreck, and a new thing that has started happening when I am on way to work in the morning my stomach starts turning and I have cramps and diarrhoea, that place is on my mind 24/7, even weekends are ruined. Am I sounding like a !!!!! or do I need some time out? I shouldn't have to take this much crap just to earn min wage, I appreciate jobs are few and far between at the moment buts that shouldn't be an excuse for this crap. I am just wondering what I should do? I am scared that my temper will finally break one of these days and I walk out, I think this has beat me.

TrickyWicky

Falko,

Seriously, I'm sick of this. Not you, you're a 'good egg' as one of my customers called me reccently but sick of having to hear about your crap employer that you keep putting up with.

Go into work happy, smiley, all jovial and like you're the most popular guy in the world. Walk up to the boss "Hi boss, how are you today? Good? Glad to hear it!" type thing. Don't hold grudges just drop it and start every day positively (even if it does get you down quickly). It's harder for pr@t bosses to be horrible to you like that around others.

Also, with regards to driving, yes everyone has nerves behind the wheel. Don't be put off by it, just continue. You won't pass your test unless you see it through. You have to get used to driving and become comfortable with it. You only really do that once you've passed the test. Before the test you're always on edge - trust me, I've been there and so has my partner. Within a month or two of passing the nerves are gone.

Seriously falko, please, get yourself on the road and get yourself out of that hell hole of a job! You're better than that. You're not on benefits, you're working hard and you're putting up with **** to earn a crust of bread. I (and many others) respect you for that. You deserve better so go and help yourself to get it - GET YOUR DRIVING LICENCE!!!

falko89

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Falko,

Seriously, I'm sick of this. Not you, you're a 'good egg' as one of my customers called me reccently but sick of having to hear about your crap employer that you keep putting up with.

Go into work happy, smiley, all jovial and like you're the most popular guy in the world. Walk up to the boss "Hi boss, how are you today? Good? Glad to hear it!" type thing. Don't hold grudges just drop it and start every day positively (even if it does get you down quickly). It's harder for pr@t bosses to be horrible to you like that around others.

Also, with regards to driving, yes everyone has nerves behind the wheel. Don't be put off by it, just continue. You won't pass your test unless you see it through. You have to get used to driving and become comfortable with it. You only really do that once you've passed the test. Before the test you're always on edge - trust me, I've been there and so has my partner. Within a month or two of passing the nerves are gone.

Seriously falko, please, get yourself on the road and get yourself out of that hell hole of a job! You're better than that. You're not on benefits, you're working hard and you're putting up with **** to earn a crust of bread. I (and many others) respect you for that. You deserve better so go and help yourself to get it - GET YOUR DRIVING LICENCE!!!

I need to sort my head out first before I learn to drive, I am to anxious in the car, I am a danger to myself and others and not because I am scared of driving, its because the enclosed space, the no way to escape, being in with a stranger, my focus is not on driving, its on preventing myself from freaking out, I suppose you would say I have a panic attack. But even getting out of work an hour to go to the Doctor to get sorted out is made out to be a major inconvenience, I can't even get for a pee without getting the looks because your holding production up, and they refused me the last time I wanted out and had to take the entire day off on sick. I feel trapped in this big mess with no way out.:(

Evilm

falko89 wrote: »

Am I sounding like a !!!!! or do I need some time out? I shouldn't have to take this much crap just to earn min wage, I appreciate jobs are few and far between at the moment buts that shouldn't be an excuse for this crap. I am just wondering what I should do? I am scared that my temper will finally break one of these days and I walk out, I think this has beat me.

From your prior posts (even before this job) I have to say honestly : A bit of both. Sorry

Yes, this job seems crap. Yes, there seems to be a lot of stuff flying around that shouldn't be in a professional environment. Unfortunately that mirrors quite a few work environments I've been in and some I have walked out of (although I did give notice and usually did have something else lined up first) and some I put up with and eventually people realised they'd have to go have their fun and arguments elsewhere!

You need to sort out why this is effecting you so much. I hate to say this but are you actually depressed? Not just the job getting to you but the fact that you are actually struggling normally? I suspect from your posting history (from memory) this might be the case.

I'd go speak to your doctor and see if they can do anything to help you as this reaction isn't healthy and even under the worst situations shouldn't be effecting you all the time quite this much.

And yes, getting that driving license is becoming all the more important for you to find the correct environment for you to thrive. Which means you do have to sort out your claustrophobia and panic issues to. They are probably not helping you fit in and feel comfortable at work either.

falko89

Evilm wrote: »

From your prior posts (even before this job) I have to say honestly : A bit of both. Sorry

Yes, this job seems crap. Yes, there seems to be a lot of stuff flying around that shouldn't be in a professional environment. Unfortunately that mirrors quite a few work environments I've been in and some I have walked out of (although I did give notice and usually did have something else lined up first) and some I put up with.

You need to sort out why this is effecting you so much. I hate to say this but are you depressed? Not just the job getting to you but the fact that you are actually struggling normally?

I'd go speak to your doctor and see if they can do anything to help you as this reaction isn't healthy and even under the worst situations shouldn't be effecting you all the time quite this much.

And yes, getting that driving license is becoming all the more important for you to find the correct environment for you to thrive.

To be honest I think your right, I've done questionnaire tests online and they confirm depression but I am to embarrassed by it all and couldn't blurt that out to a doctor, But I can't figure out am I depressed because of the happenings in this job or is my depression causing this job to be such a struggle.

skivenov

If you're worried about putting it into words with the doctor initially, write them a note explaining what you can and take it in. Doctors get this a lot more than you'd think.

I'm not going to say every doctor out there is brilliant at dealing with mental health, there's one in the practice I attend who I wouldn't take this problem to, but there have been vast improvements in GP's awareness over recent years.

If you're unsure, you can phone the practice, without neccessarily giving your name, and asking if any of the GP's have a mental health specialism.

TrickyWicky

falko89 wrote: »

To be honest I think your right, I've done questionnaire tests online and they confirm depression but I am to embarrassed by it all and couldn't blurt that out to a doctor, But I can't figure out am I depressed because of the happenings in this job or is my depression causing this job to be such a struggle.

Why are you embarrassed by it? Many people across the nation are suffering with it - myself included. Doctors are used to it falko, trust me they've got plenty of people on their books with depression. You've nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.

Depression is often caused by the circumstances around you so yes your work might be making you depressed but likewise you'll be depressed about doing your work. You rarely get one without the other - trust me I should know.

With regards to the driving thing, I think you're overstressed and highly strung. You need to learn to unwind and have more faith in yourself to do things. Thats far from easy but learning to drive and getting your licence would seriously put you on the right path - it's a big achievement and will make you feel much prouder of yourself - I speak from personal experience falko so please trust me.

You're clearly an intelligent person who is held back. You need to do something about that.

power2consumers

Its hard because your the new guy and as you say the manager has been there for 10 years. TBH, I always assumed acceptable behaviour would vary according to the industry, so if I was working in oil mining then I would expect aggressive leadership but if I was working in a retail store then hell no I wouldn't.

What you need to do is gauge how he treats others and how they respond to him. Is he like that with everyone and do they accept it? How is he when things are going OK and there's nothing to complain about and how is he off duty or when the day is over?

If you think he is specifically picking on you then you have to subtly show him that if he tries bullying you you have the wit to embarrass/undermine his manliness. Now this has to be precise, you can't do something that will make you look wrong, get sacked or is enough for him to hold a grudge. But basically you have to show him that your not an easy target that he can pick on to either boost him ego or, more likely, assert his authority through everyone else with you as proxy.

power2consumers

unrelated but psychologically linked example from high school when I was 16. Old English teacher was very angry type, I mean like kick you on the backside if you walked in late, this was in 1999 not 1940s etc so we could of easily got him fired, BUT he was like that with everyone and we all genuinely liked and respected him and besides most of the time he was funny. Anyways he left, and was replaced with a lady. Now this is a boys school, class was all 15-16 and pretty boisterous bunch, One her very first day, I was the little one sitting slouched at the back doing my maths homework, she came up to me, snatched it and with the upmost disgust/revulsion said UUUUUU DISGUUUUUUST MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, to which I responded UUUUUU Disgust mee tooooooooooooo, needless to say whole class laughed, her plan backfired and she never picked on me again

falko89

Thanks for all the advice I do intend to drive in the not to distant future but I don't think its gonna be the saviour to my job hunting woes that its made out. I already search a 20 mile radius daily and there is damn all working going I could do. You've things like

Store Manager
Administration Assistant
Beauty Therapist
System Programmer.

To name but a few. My skills and experience are linked to the construction industry and not transferable so my only option at the moment is low paid work which seems to have vanished from the face of the earth and if you travel any further than 20 miles to do low paid work its not gonna be worth your while with fuel costs etc. As I say it baffles me where this work has went, I applied for a job last week, that's the first in about a month, perhaps these type of jobs are in such demand these days they don't have to advertise they have so many people sending in CV's etc.