Change of title after marriage but not changing name.

Mama_Cat

Just wanted to say 'congratulations' first off!

I'm in my 30s and around 15 years ago I changed my title to 'Mrs'. I wasn't married and had no plans to get married …ever. But I didn't want to be a stereotypical spinster with loads of cats (although I do have 2 of the monsters!) This type of scenario was even more unusual then, so I contacted my solicitor who wrote a letter to say it was simply a change of title, not a change of legal status, i.e. I wasn't married. I never really had any problems and if I did I just showed the letter, which seemed to be accepted.

My main problem came from internet sites, which were programmed to only accept 'Mrs' as a title if you chose the drop-down box of 'married'. Thankfully, these are becoming rarer as different conventions are becoming more accepted.

PS I ended up getting married last year, but as I'm already a 'Mrs' had no problems with name changes!

TeamLowe

I was told that Mrs means wife of, and your 'married name' is Mrs husbandsfirstname husbands lastname, so you should be Mrs Joe Bloggs and not Mrs Sue Bloggs to use mrs correctly
But obviously this dates back to the whole women as possessions thing so is best ignored all round
It is about time we came up with something that means married but this isn't his surname, Ms to me means divorced but not gone back to maiden name

pinkclouds

Silaqui wrote: »

I've left it as Miss with them for now - but does anyone know what the actual situation is? I'm sure there are loads of women who have kept their own names but become Mrs - are any of you out there to reassure me?

Don't see a problem. I have two friends who do this - one because his surname isn't a good fit with her first name (in her opinion - personally, I don't see the problem) and the other... hasn't really said but it is rather obvious that her first name and his surname are not a good match (albeit after translation).

Keep your maiden name if you wish. Legally, you will have both maiden name and married name surnames anyway. Call yourself "Mrs" - it will be your right to do so as you will be married.

pinkclouds

TeamLowe wrote: »

I was told that Mrs means wife of, and your 'married name' is Mrs husbandsfirstname husbands lastname, so you should be Mrs Joe Bloggs and not Mrs Sue Bloggs to use mrs correctly

As per above, titles are derived from your husband - hence the famous Princess Michael of Kent, who does not have the title in her own right. So, yes, you would actually be Mrs [Hubby's first name] [Hubby's surname]. (Mrs [Your first name] [Hubby's surname] is meant to indicate the absence of said husband.)

However, no one seems to care about this stuff anymore. The only people who address me as such are MIL and (now deceased) Grandmother-in-law.

fluffnutter

Silaqui wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I recently got married and will not be taking my husbands name - I sound really horrible saying this, but I don't like it! So I'll be keeping my own name!

I do, however, want it to be clear that I am married - I was thinking about being known as Mrs Maidenname. I haven't yet got round to changing my title with anywhere yet so I am currently still Miss Maidenname. I definitely DO NOT want to be a Ms.

I was at the bank this morning as I had an appointment with a mortgage advisor, and obviously she asked me whether my name had changed. I explained the situation above (which I thought was perfectly possible) but it seemed to cause a lot of confusion...

The mortgage advisor's manager was in doing an observation of her, and she seemed to think that this wasn't possible as I would be married to my dad(?) and that for legal reasons I would have to be Ms Maidenname?

I've left it as Miss with them for now - but does anyone know what the actual situation is? I'm sure there are loads of women who have kept their own names but become Mrs - are any of you out there to reassure me?

Thanks!
x

The mortgage advisor's manager's talking shite. Take that to its logical conclusion and everyone with the same surname as you would be married to your dad! You can use whatever title you like (provided you're not trying to impersonate anyone - that would be fraud).

I was in the same situation as you when I married. I simply told my bank (and others) that my title had changed. Not sure I even had to fill out a form. They just changed it on their system whilst I was stood there.

fluffnutter

pinkclouds wrote: »

Call yourself "Mrs" - it will be your right to do so as you will be married.

And, in fact, you can call yourself Mrs if you want even if you're not married. Plenty of divorced women continue to do so. There's no legal barrier to being a Miss, Mrs or Ms regardless of your actual marital status.

Mr_Toad

Silaqui wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I recently got married and will not be taking my husbands name - I sound really horrible saying this, but I don't like it! So I'll be keeping my own name!

I do, however, want it to be clear that I am married - I was thinking about being known as Mrs Maidenname. I haven't yet got round to changing my title with anywhere yet so I am currently still Miss Maidenname. I definitely DO NOT want to be a Ms.

I was at the bank this morning as I had an appointment with a mortgage advisor, and obviously she asked me whether my name had changed. I explained the situation above (which I thought was perfectly possible) but it seemed to cause a lot of confusion...

The mortgage advisor's manager was in doing an observation of her, and she seemed to think that this wasn't possible as I would be married to my dad(?) and that for legal reasons I would have to be Ms Maidenname?

I've left it as Miss with them for now - but does anyone know what the actual situation is? I'm sure there are loads of women who have kept their own names but become Mrs - are any of you out there to reassure me?

Thanks!
x

You fell into the trap of over explaining. When asked if your name had changed the correct answer was no. No explanation required.

You are married therefore your status as a married woman entitles you to call yourself Mrs. No explanation required.

If they had asked if your married status had changed the answer would have been yes.

That said, and as other have stated, you can legally call yourself what you like. Banks are not comfortable with this but when pressed have to comply with what is legal and if you decide to call yourself Lady Arachnid Queen of the Spider people there is nothing they can do to stop you.

Mrs. <Maiden name> is neither a problem or uncommon.

Make them do as you wish not what they think you should do

dancemum

I kept my surname on marriage and OH changed his by deed poll. I use Ms alot but one of my bank card says Miss & another says Mrs. I don't get any problems apart from when in waiting rooms and they call Mrs Maidenname, I often ignore them unintentially as I think they are calling for my Mum.

suki1001

When my mum wanted to revert back to her maiden name the bank refused without proper legal paper work. She just threatened to close her accounts - that soon jollied them along.

That bank managers argument was very silly.

bratz81

I got married in June and kept my maiden name. I usually use Ms now instead of Miss as Mrs would only remind me of my mum and I definitely do not want that!

However, as others have said your title can be anything you want, Ms, Miss, Mrs etc. You're not obliged to change it to Mrs, nor are you obliged to keep it Ms you can do whatever suits you.

That married to your dad comment was complete nonsense!!