Change of title after marriage but not changing name.

Silaqui

Hi everyone,

I recently got married and will not be taking my husbands name - I sound really horrible saying this, but I don't like it! So I'll be keeping my own name!

I do, however, want it to be clear that I am married - I was thinking about being known as Mrs Maidenname. I haven't yet got round to changing my title with anywhere yet so I am currently still Miss Maidenname. I definitely DO NOT want to be a Ms.

I was at the bank this morning as I had an appointment with a mortgage advisor, and obviously she asked me whether my name had changed. I explained the situation above (which I thought was perfectly possible) but it seemed to cause a lot of confusion...

The mortgage advisor's manager was in doing an observation of her, and she seemed to think that this wasn't possible as I would be married to my dad(?) and that for legal reasons I would have to be Ms Maidenname?

I've left it as Miss with them for now - but does anyone know what the actual situation is? I'm sure there are loads of women who have kept their own names but become Mrs - are any of you out there to reassure me?

Thanks!
x

tea_lover

I thought legally you could pretty much choose what you wanted. On a similar theme, I kept my married name after I divorced (various reasons) but dropped the Mrs. So I now use either Miss or Ms marriedname. It's never caused any problems.

bryanb

You can be known as anything you choose. Baroness if you fancy it.

Tish_P

If your husband had taken your name you'd be Mrs Maidenname, so I don't see what the problem would be with your being Mrs Maidenname now.

Seanymph

I swear some people go through life making it difficult for the rest of us for fun.

Call yourself whatever you want.

I've had so many names my mother always phones and says 'I haven't sent a cheque as I don't even know what you are called these days' (she does!).

You can be Mrs maidenname if you want.

How can a name be that awful though? Really? It's only a moniker, you married him, you love him - surely you can accept his name...

Idiophreak

On balance of probability, surely a Ms Smith marries a Mr Smith quite a lot and wishes to become Mrs Smith...what do they do then?

TheConways

My colleague changed his name to his wife's name when they married, because she had science papers published in her own name. No-one batted an eyelid in the office.

However, the bank cannot get their heads around this, and he had sooo many problems explaining what he was doing. "What is your wife's maiden name, Sir?" ... "Her name is the same as it is now, I am the one with a maiden name!" Eventually, they got past the "computer says no" problem, and hence if you're persistent with the bank, they should eventually change your name to as you wish!

Have you asked hubby if he'll change his name? If it's that bad, maybe he'd consider taking yours?!

Tish_P

I wouldn't take my chap's name and I do like it. Liking the name or otherwise isn't a reflection on him or their relationship.

lowlitmemory

That's ridiculous. There's no legal reason stopping you from being Mrs Maidenname if that is what you so choose. Titles are 'honorific', they don't really have legal standing (although I don't know about ones like Sir or Lord... I'm talking about the everyday ones like Mr, Ms, Miss and Mrs).

RadoJo

Silaqui wrote: »

The mortgage advisor's manager was in doing an observation of her, and she seemed to think that this wasn't possible as I would be married to my dad(?) and that for legal reasons I would have to be Ms Maidenname?


x

I think this may be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard! If you did change your name, how would you be sure you weren't married to your father in law? Honestly, some people have the oddest ideas. BTW - you can just do whatever you want - no name you could use would mean you were married to your dad.

cottonhead

You can change your name to whatever you like and use whatever title you like. However to me it sounds a bit weird to keep your maiden name but use Mrs. Everyone will assume that your husbands name is Mr Maidenname. Any chance you may have kids ? If so what would you call them?
Could you be really alternative and both change your name to a completly new one that you both like ?