Change of title after marriage but not changing name.

browneyedbazzi

What a load of rubbish, you can use whatever title you want (provided it isn't one with legal protection like Doctor).

Write to the bank stating that you wish to be known as Mrs Maidenname and ask them to change their records to reflect this. Tell them in the letter than you were disappointed that the staff in branch had a problem with doing this for you! Perhaps they'll send a memo round and prevent others having to deal with the branch staff's stupidity.

Silaqui

Seanymph wrote: »

How can a name be that awful though? Really? It's only a moniker, you married him, you love him - surely you can accept his name...

I just like mine better, it's foreign so quite unique - and I've had it all my life, don't want a new one! His is a bit boring and sounds rubbish with my first name, and also his cousin married a girl with the same first name as me so I don't want to not only have a boring name, but be the second person in the family with said boring name! (Also I'm a teacher so get called by my surname all the time - I need to like it!)

TheConways wrote: »

Have you asked hubby if he'll change his name? If it's that bad, maybe he'd consider taking yours?!

Not a chance, we discussed it when I was umming and ahhing!

cottonhead wrote: »

You can change your name to whatever you like and use whatever title you like. However to me it sounds a bit weird to keep your maiden name but use Mrs. Everyone will assume that your husbands name is Mr Maidenname. Any chance you may have kids ? If so what would you call them?
Could you be really alternative and both change your name to a completly new one that you both like ?

If we had kids they could have his name (if he wanted them to), I'm happy with that - they'd be used to it wouldn't they! Or double barrel maybe, but it sounds a bit odd. It's my actual name that I am quite attached to so a completely new one still wouldn't appeal.

Thanks for all the advice - seems like it is ok to do that (I thought it was from my googling but she really confused me!). I know people will probably assume that OH is Mr Maidenname but we would get that anyway only the other way round - we had so many wedding cards addressed to Mr and Mrs Hisname! I don't mind that because it's what people will assume but I need to make a decision for official things for when I start ringing round and changing things.

Thanks for all the replies!
x

aneres

I'm getting married in September and going to do exactly the same as you op.

claire16c

The people in your bank sound like idiots.

Do what browneyedbazzi said above.

Just write to them and say you want to be known as 'Mrs yourname.'

You wont have to tell that many other people, as things like passports dont have titles on them anyway.

I think driving license does and credit cards.

ellay864

My friend went from Miss B to Ms B when she was about 21 and decided it was nobody's business what her marital status was. Then when she married Mr J she decided she wanted ot be a Mrs but kept the B. It's never been a problem for her, they now have kids and they have the J name while she is Mrs B

kj*daisy

People get so bamboozled when we do something as simple as keeping the name we were born with! I use my maiden name and miss, ms or mrs.
Legally it really doesnt matter.

Tiddlywinks

I've kept my maiden name (used it for many, many years of marriage) BUT I absolutely don't like being called Mrs <maiden name> as I get an instant picture of my mum - that title belongs to her alone as far as I'm concerned.

However, as I've got older, if I use 'Miss' as my title then I get sad looks that imply they are sorry I'm an old maid but if I use 'Ms' they assume I must have a partner and cannot possibly be married.

So, ignorance is still out there - but I like my name - I've had it all my life and it just didn't feel right to change it.... so 'Ms' <maiden name> it is.

bikelesschick

I got married last year and never changed my surname.

I never had to do anything more than tell bank etc in person. I just explained that I got married but my surname wasn't changing and all I wanted was for my title to be changed from 'Miss' to 'Mrs' on their records. Never had any problems, not even had to show my marriage certificate.

If I'm not wrong... Changing surnames would require a deed poll and if they change yours without one, they're breaking the law. As you dont' have one and they can't make you get one, they just need to accept that you're now Mrs Maidenname

kathie1101

I had the exact same issue when I got married. For various reasons I wanted to keep my name and it wasn't a problem with most companies but my main bank took a huge issue with it.

I was actually very surprised that nobody needed to see my marriage certificate or at least for me to write to them to confirm the change - all took the info over the phone (except the bank!) and even DWP & HMRC didn't have any issue. 1 bank changed it without a problem but my main bank had me in there for over an hour whilst every member of staff pondered over whether it could be done or if indeed it was legal. I explained to them over and over again that it was legal etc but in the end they said the only way I could become known as Mrs Maiden name was if I changed my name by deed pole!:mad::eek: In the end I walked out vowing to close my accounts and those of my family. Reality is that I have never got round to doing it.

Strangely though they were happy to bank a cheque that was made out to MRS maiden name:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

determined_new_ms

RadoJo wrote: »

- no name you could use would mean you were married to your dad.

:rotfl: what about Mrs Marriedtomydad?

ellay864 wrote: »

My friend went from Miss B to Ms B when she was about 21 and decided it was nobody's business what her marital status was. Then when she married Mr J she decided she wanted ot be a Mrs but kept the B. It's never been a problem for her, they now have kids and they have the J name while she is Mrs B

She didn't want to become Mrs B-J? :rotfl:

Sorry coldn't help myself seriously op what a load of waffle coming from the bank Mrs ? Does she moonlight at the births, marriages and deaths office?

Totally get being really fond of your name, I feel exactly the same! I've taken 36 years getting used to this name so wouldn't want to change it (not that oh is asking, but that's another story...) I'm Ms already though, so shouldn't be a problem if he ever asks...