Advice of how to deal with very rude Head Teacher

cobbingstones

Hello

During the last week of term I decided to speak to the Head concerning some information that I had been given concerning a member of her staff (by another member of her staff) that it was in her best interests to know asap. I approached her on the playground and asked to speak to her about a confidential issue. She told me to talk to her there and then as she was busy all morning. I explained briefly what the issue was and she just walked off! I then proceeded to talk to a school Gov who reassured me that she would take it further.

Later in the morning I received a call from her. Here are some of the phases she used;

"You where very brave to come and see me this morning"

"You must of felt very small when I walked away from you"

etc etc basically she spoke to me like I was a child. I'm still so upset over it. I do not have a lot of confidence but this really knocked what bit I have. She does not speak to other parents that this at all.

So I would like some advice on what to say to her on our return to school? I have to challenge this! (Although she is very scary)
Thank you in advance

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

'I'm sure you felt very big and clever when you were on the phone. Did you have a man in the room you needed to impress?'

Probably a bit below the belt, but it sounds as if she deserves it.

Mojisola

cobbingstones wrote: »

Later in the morning I received a call from her. Here are some of the phases she used;

"You where very brave to come and see me this morning"

"You must of felt very small when I walked away from you"

etc etc basically she spoke to me like I was a child.

I wonder if her choice of language was a roundabout attempt at an apology. The phrases she used sound a lot like things you get told on courses - acknowledge how the other person must have felt, etc.

I_wanna_live_for_free

cobbingstones wrote: »

Hello

During the last week of term I decided to speak to the Head concerning some information that I had been given concerning a member of her staff (by another member of her staff) that it was in her best interests to know asap. I approached her on the playground and asked to speak to her about a confidential issue. She told me to talk to her there and then as she was busy all morning. I explained briefly what the issue was and she just walked off! I then proceeded to talk to a school Gov who reassured me that she would take it further.

Later in the morning I received a call from her. Here are some of the phases she used;

"You where very brave to come and see me this morning"

"You must of felt very small when I walked away from you"

"No, I didn't feel small. I thought how rude you were!"
etc etc basically she spoke to me like I was a child. I'm still so upset over it. I do not have a lot of confidence but this really knocked what bit I have. She does not speak to other parents that this at all.

So I would like some advice on what to say to her on our return to school? I have to challenge this! (Although she is very scary)
Thank you in advance

She's only scary if you let her be. I know it's difficult but she has exactly the same body functions as you. I used to imagine my daughter's head teacher in an embarrassing situation (being caught shop-lifting for example) then her "power" has been diminished and you can then talk to her on a level playing field. (excuse the pun, unintentional)

And I can appreciate how intimidating she is. :mad:

You are confident. You've managed to convince yourself that you're not, is all. Just need to rebuild your knowledge that you are confident and that she will listen to you.

If she tries to walk away again, shout "excuse me, we hadn't finished discussing this"

Good luck and you can do it!

1940sGal

Mojisola wrote: »

I wonder if her choice of language was a roundabout attempt at an apology.

Personally it sounds like she hated the fact that the OP had gone to a higher authority and 'dobbed her in', so to speak.

Perhaps she got peed off because she felt her authority was being undermined, or she felt it was a direct criticism of her that she didn't know about the issue in question?

It would be tempting to go back with something equally belittling but it's not worth it. Be the bigger person and go through the correct channels. Keep contacting the governor and if she refuses to listen, keep complaining about her. Make a note of everything she says to you, too, and anything nasty, report it.

Not sure what you could say to her when you go back. Are you a student or a member of staff?

eskimo26

Mojisola wrote: »

I wonder if her choice of language was a roundabout attempt at an apology. The phrases she used sound a lot like things you get told on courses - acknowledge how the other person must have felt, etc.

I thought so to it might well be she's not good on the people side of things and better on the administration side. Certainly sounds like training course language.

She was probably taken to task by the Governor and had to then make it clear she was very sorry, insincere regret can sometimes come across as talking to someone like a child.

She probably was peeved you went above her and this unintentionally bled into her attempt to apologise, hence the patronising tone.

I would take it at face value, she made a begrudging apology and probably wants it to end there. She has enough stuff to do and think about then maintaining serious grudges with parents.

More to the point was the issue resolved? Just keep things professional, talk about the weather if you have to.

Is she expecting a response do you think?

cobbingstones

1940sGal wrote: »

Personally it sounds like she hated the fact that the OP had gone to a higher authority and 'dobbed her in', so to speak.

Perhaps she got peed off because she felt her authority was being undermined, or she felt it was a direct criticism of her that she didn't know about the issue in question?

It would be tempting to go back with something equally belittling but it's not worth it. Be the bigger person and go through the correct channels. Keep contacting the governor and if she refuses to listen, keep complaining about her. Make a note of everything she says to you, too, and anything nasty, report it.

Not sure what you could say to her when you go back. Are you a student or a member of staff?

She didn't know that I had discussed it with someone else until after the call.

cobbingstones

eskimo26 wrote: »

I thought so to it might well be she's not good on the people side of things and better on the administration side. Certainly sounds like training course language.

She was probably taken to task by the Governor and had to then make it clear she was very sorry, insincere regret can sometimes come across as talking to someone like a child.

She probably was peeved you went above her and this unintentionally bled into her attempt to apologise, hence the patronising tone.

I would take it at face value, she made a begrudging apology and probably wants it to end there. She has enough stuff to do and think about then maintaining serious grudges with parents.

More to the point was the issue resolved? Just keep things professional, talk about the weather if you have to.

Is she expecting a response do you think?

Yes the issue was resolved.

I doubt she is expecting a response.

cobbingstones

1940sGal wrote: »

Personally it sounds like she hated the fact that the OP had gone to a higher authority and 'dobbed her in', so to speak.

Perhaps she got peed off because she felt her authority was being undermined, or she felt it was a direct criticism of her that she didn't know about the issue in question?

It would be tempting to go back with something equally belittling but it's not worth it. Be the bigger person and go through the correct channels. Keep contacting the governor and if she refuses to listen, keep complaining about her. Make a note of everything she says to you, too, and anything nasty, report it.

Not sure what you could say to her when you go back. Are you a student or a member of staff?

I'm a parent at the school who knows the member of staff who confided in me.

cobbingstones

Just to clarify I told the Gov the issue that I wanted to be resolved. I did not mention that she dismissed me so to speak in the playground.

pleasedelete

Was the issue something to do with your child?