mortgage deeds feeling safe

Tish_P

I know that there are all sorts of reasons and complications and history we're not aware of just reading posts on the internet, and everything in personal relationships is easier said than done, but sometimes you want to grab someone by the shoulders and yell ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GOURD WOMAN GET OUT NOW.

Call the solicitor and explain you signed the agreement because you were scared, then find a safe way to leave this guy (enlisting as much help as needed from friends / authorities / womens aid) and if you consider moving in with someone in the future, ask yourself whether they might be likely to smash your stuff in a fit of violent rage and/or endanger your pets. If the answer is Yes (or even Maybe) then don't do it. Don't go on the deeds OR the mortgage - even if it were financially sensible it ties you legally to a bloke who sounds like a really terribly horribly no-good very bad idea. And not because he has Asperger's. Aspies can be lovely people or gits, just like other people.

Rant over. I hope you find a way out of this soon.

woody2234

" but there are times he is down right nasty to be calling me ugly spitting in my face and even put me in hospital at times"

do you want to get a house with this nice person I mean what if you split and you say you want half the house, will he get very very nasty

Tish_P

Holy guacamole, I missed that about the hospital. Sometimes I start to hope a genuine post turns out to be a wind-up, just because I don't want anyone in the real world to be in that bad a situation.

daska

Hmmm...

Why exactly do you want to be with someone who hospitalises you? The spitting in your face is bad enough - IT IS ASSAULT!!!!

It sounds to me as if you need some some advice from WomensAid on how to leave this relationship safely. 0808 2000 247

It's gone 6.30pm so ring them first and, unless WomensAid advise differently, first thing in the morning you should ring the police/solicitor/mortgage people and tell them you signed under duress because you tried to refuse and his reaction frightened you to the point that you felt you had no choice but to comply.

HeatherintheHills

animallover123 wrote: »

my partner has a good income and is enough to support both of us ...

...but there are times he is down right nasty to be calling me ugly spitting in my face and even put me in hospital at times, ...

...once i get better i am planning on getting a job again and paying towards the mortage and when if low and behold any of my grandparents die i have money coming to me then that i could add to pay off the mortage

So he is holding down a good job? To do that he must be able to control his anger issues when he is at work.

But he doesn't bother when he is at home.

Let him go. Get yourself to the doctor and, when you are feeling better, find work and save for a home for you and your animals that you KNOW is going to be as safe as you can possibly make it.

Mojisola

I would be concerned if you go ahead and get a big dog for protection while this man is working away - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4113639

The dog will get used to protecting you. What will happen the next time your partner loses it and attacks you? If the dog tries to defend you and bites him, it will probably get put down. If your partner can grab a weapon, the dog could get seriously injured.

animallover123

Hi
His been in his job over 12 years everyone knows what his like and accept him is very intelligent and does his job extremely well he has had outbursts at work never with people he may tell them to f off but usually takes it out on his equipment at work and then has to replace it
I don't know what I'm going to do if I did change my mind could I ring up mortgage people to remove me?

animallover123

The dog was never protection from him as I just have to threaten to call police and scares him as he has a record with me and his mum now and police said he would be charged next time but when I say that he is verbally nasty maybe spitting and then usually he would pack and go - the dog was always just going to be company feel safer from strangers but I can see what your saying if we arguing dog could take wrong way and hate dog to be destroyed cause of me if it only did what was natural to it

cutestkids

You need to listen to your family they can see that you are in an abusive relationship even if you can't.

Get out while you still can because the only way your life with him is going to go is downhill all the way.

Mojisola

animallover123 wrote: »

dog could take wrong way and hate dog to be destroyed cause of me if it only did what was natural to it

Exactly! If the dog learns to protect you, he'll protect you against anyone.