An incident at work

MissSarah1972

Jamtastic87 wrote: »

It all sounds a bit 'petty' to me, and work related 'banter', but if you find it as bullying or harassment, then you shouldn't have to put up with it. I'm sure as a large company they will have a well established bullying and harassment policy, as well as a whistle blowing telephone line. If no improvement is achieved from speaking with your manager I suggest you either speak with the area manager or use the whistle blowing telephone line to escalate the issue above store level.

If a bloke was doing it to a girl would that be petty to complain?

Savvy_Sue

Orville wrote: »

That is exactly what i intend to do, i have a blackberry with a 32gb card in it, this should be enough to leave on record for 4 hours while i am at work each day

Are you allowed to have your phone on you while you're working? I thought in most supermarkets phones were to be left in lockers? I'd strongly recommend not doing anything that would get YOU into trouble. Notebook and pencil, fine; getting your phone out, not fine.

Also, did you at any point calmly say to either of these chaps "Please don't do that, I find it offensive?" In general, that's the first step to dealing with unwanted behaviour of any kind.

You may think that by ignoring a person and only speaking to them if they use your name that you're making this clear, but if you haven't actually asked someone to stop doing something, then you're not.

passatrider

I would take the original perputrator to one side and deal with him face to face. Tell him that you find their behaviour unacceptable and that if it continues you will take it further. You must take him to a quiet room away from other colleagues - keep calm but remain firm.
I did this with a colleague who was picking on me in front of others and it stopped almost immediately. He later went on to get transferred after being accused of something similar, so it does work.

We all have to put up with banter at work it's part of the ethic, but NOT when it's personal. That is clearly bullying.

Good luck!

Orville

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Are you allowed to have your phone on you while you're working? I thought in most supermarkets phones were to be left in lockers? I'd strongly recommend not doing anything that would get YOU into trouble. Notebook and pencil, fine; getting your phone out, not fine.

Also, did you at any point calmly say to either of these chaps "Please don't do that, I find it offensive?" In general, that's the first step to dealing with unwanted behaviour of any kind.

You may think that by ignoring a person and only speaking to them if they use your name that you're making this clear, but if you haven't actually asked someone to stop doing something, then you're not.

Yes as i said in an earlier post i did albeit after many months say to the brother when he said it too on the saturday to tell his brother to stop. Two hrs later the brother walked past again and did it followed by the other brother seconds later, it was obvious that by me asking him to tell his brother to stop, it spurred them on to do it again.

Savvy_Sue

Orville wrote: »

Yes as i said in an earlier post i did albeit after many months say to the brother when he said it too on the saturday to tell his brother to stop. Two hrs later the brother walked past again and did it followed by the other brother seconds later, it was obvious that by me asking him to tell his brother to stop, it spurred them on to do it again.

Well, asking one to pass messages to the other isn't quite the same as saying, quietly and calmly, "please don't do that, I find it offensive." And then doing the same to anyone else, when necessary.

I hope you don't find yourself in this situation again, but if you do, then say something sooner.

Orville

Spoke to my manager again today, getting the feeling that they are not wishing to take this further, i got the ole we had a word and couldn't prove it speech, followed by a they are not going to wolf whistle in general again, !!!!!!..?

I could hardly get a word in edge ways until near the end of the conversation where i pointed out to her that although my work college never heard the whistle, she was privvy to the brother coming into my workroom 2 seconds after he whistled and telling me to punch his brother for doing it. When i said that she said what do you want me to do, i said a formal apology would be enough to which she said for me to get it in writing from the college stating what was heard and she would go from there. Upon reflection though i feel that a formal apology from the brother that only did it a few times would be enough. The other brother however i feel should be sacked, after all i have had six months of this.

Southend1

Orville wrote: »

Spoke to my manager again today, getting the feeling that they are not wishing to take this further, i got the ole we had a word and couldn't prove it speech, followed by a they are not going to wolf whistle in general again, !!!!!!..?

I could hardly get a word in edge ways until near the end of the conversation where i pointed out to her that although my work college never heard the whistle, she was privvy to the brother coming into my workroom 2 seconds after he whistled and telling me to punch his brother for doing it. When i said that she said what do you want me to do, i said a formal apology would be enough to which she said for me to get it in writing from the college stating what was heard and she would go from there. Upon reflection though i feel that a formal apology from the brother that only did it a few times would be enough. The other brother however i feel should be sacked, after all i have had six months of this.

OP though I sympathise with anyone suffering from the unwanted behaviours of a colleague, you're in danger of getting this way out of proportion. He won't get sacked. You don't need an apology. If the behaviour upsets you, all you need is for it to stop. By your own admission you have not yet told them firmly and directly that you find their behaviour unacceptable. Do this, keep your head down and get on with your work and it won't be a problem. If you carry on as you are then this will spiral out of control and things will end up much worse for you.

MissSarah1972

Orville wrote: »

Spoke to my manager again today, getting the feeling that they are not wishing to take this further, i got the ole we had a word and couldn't prove it speech, followed by a they are not going to wolf whistle in general again, !!!!!!..?

I could hardly get a word in edge ways until near the end of the conversation where i pointed out to her that although my work college never heard the whistle, she was privvy to the brother coming into my workroom 2 seconds after he whistled and telling me to punch his brother for doing it. When i said that she said what do you want me to do, i said a formal apology would be enough to which she said for me to get it in writing from the college stating what was heard and she would go from there. Upon reflection though i feel that a formal apology from the brother that only did it a few times would be enough. The other brother however i feel should be sacked, after all i have had six months of this.

Are you serious? You want an apology? LOL You won't get one I am afraid. They can not make someone say sorry. How would they do that? Tell them they are going to be sacked if they do not say sorry?

Put it in WRITING! A fomal complaint then they should have to do things correctly.

What do they mean by whistle blowing again?

Like I said if its the shop in the green then they will not take this seriously.

Letter to the store manager and HR team to start or just put up with it. Or do like I would - next time they do it say as loud as you can 'don't so that please' OR do it back to them!

Lets see if they like it. They do it, because they can!

Tiddlywinks

Options:

1. Put your complaint in writing - as so many have already recommended - that way, it is harder to ignore and also provides a permanent record if the unwelcome behaviour starts up again.

2. Accept that the matter has been dealt with and only complain if the jibes start again - in other words... no further action

The company cannot make an individual apologise.

colino

You really have let this spiral out of control and if you were objective about what you have said and done, realise none of you are coming out of this well.
You reported co-worker for verbal abuse, and were so enraged by it, commented you would resort to physical means.
Employer investigates and finds its a, "He said, he said" nonsense.
You bring matter up again and employer finds new strands to the story.
As none of you appear to be in senior, strategic positions in the store, dont you think your employer will reinterview, and to protect themselves from potential further action, get rid of you all?
The workplace isn't a playground and juvenile actions like this everyone can do without.